Star Wars Episode II: The Dark Temple
by Jacen Caedus
Summary: Jedi students are turning to stone, among them Luke Skywalker's (Mark Hamill) good friend Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher). So it's up to him and fellow Force user Han Solo (Harrison Ford) to get to the bottom of things. Sequel to "Star Wars Episode I: The Philosopher's Stone"
1. Dramatis Personae

**Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas or J.K. ****Rowling.**

Here are the characters in this story:

**Harry Potter - Luke Skywalker (age 12), second year**

**Ron Weasley - Han Solo (age 12), second year**

**Hermione Granger - Leia Organa (age 13), second year**

**Ginny Weasley - Mara (Jade) Solo (age 11), first year**

**Fred Weasley - Jacen Solo (age 14), fourth year**

**George Weasley - Ben (Skywalker) Solo (age 14), fourth year**

**Percy Weasley - (See) Threepio Solo (age 16), sixth year**

**Molly Prewett Weasley - Jaina Solo (age 46), mother to Han Solo**

******Arthur Weasley - Jonash Solo (age 45), Head of the Misuse of Mundane Artifacts Office**

******Dobby - Jar Jar Binks (age 27), slave to the House of Marek**

******Errol - Fiver (age 80), astromech owl**

******Perkins - Peckhum (age 70), employee of the Misuse of Mundane Artifacts Office (mention only)**

**Draco Malfoy - Galen Marek (age 12), second year**

******Lucius Malfoy - Dooku Marek (age 39), member of the Jedi Council**

******Borgin - Seb Arkos (age 45), black market dealer**

**Vincent Crabbe - Cornelius Evazon (age 12), second year**

**Gregory Goyle - Ponda Baba (age 12), second year**

**Albus Dumbledore - Yoda (age 111), Grand Master**

**Minerva McGonagall - Mon Mothma (age 71), Master of Jedi Sorcery**

**Filius Flitwick - Sio Bibble (age 71), Master of the Force**

**Mr. Granger - Bail Organa (age 54), father of Leia Organa**

**Mrs. Granger - Breha Organa (age 54), mother of Leia Organa**

**Severus Snape - Darth Vader (age 32), Master of Potions**

**Gilderoy Lockhart - Valenthyne Farfalla (age 38), Master of Defense Against the Dark Side of the Force**

**Lord Voldemort/Tom Riddle - Lord Sidious/Cozinga Palpatine (age 66), Dark Lord of the Sith**

**Rubeus Hagrid - Chewbacca (age 63), gamekeeper**

**Argus Filch - Jurokk (age 56), caretaker**

**Colin Creevey - Dak Ralter (age 11), first year**

**Hedwig - Artoo Detoo (age 12), astromech owl**

**Fawkes - Vergere (immortal), Fosh**

**Oliver Wood - Tycho Celchu (age 16), sixth year**

**Angelina Johnson - Tenel Ka Djo (age 14), fourth year**

**Alicia Spinnet - Lowbacca (age 14), fourth year**

**Katie Bell - Tahiri Veila (age 13), third year**

**Rolanda Hooch - Garven Dreis (age 58), coach**

**Vernon Dursley - Owen Lars (age 43), uncle to Luke Skywalker**

**Petunia Dursley - Beru Lars (age 43), aunt to Luke Skywalker**

**Dudley Dursley - Jek Porkins Lars (age 12), cousin to Luke Skywalker**

**Marcus Flint - Moradmin Bast (age 17), seventh year**

**Penelope Clearwater - TC-14 (age 16), sixth year**

**Lee Jordan - Wes Janson (age 14), fourth year**

**Pansy Parkinson - Asajj Ventress (age 12), second year**

**Millicent Bulstrode - Gethzerion (age 12), second year**

**Neville Longbottom - Wedge Antilles (age 12), second year**

**Seamus Finnagan - Nien Nunb (age 12), second year**

**Dean Thomas - Lando Calrissian (age 12), second year**

**Poppy Pomfrey - Vokara Che (age 46), nurse**

**Parvati Patil - Winter Retrac (age 12), second year**

**Godric Gryffindor - Revan (deceased), founder**

**Salazar Slytherin - Exar Kun (deceased), founder**

**Rowena Ravenclaw - Bastila Shan (deceased), founder**

**Helga Hufflepuff - Meetra Surik/Jedi Exile (deceased), founder**

**Cuthbert Binns - Vodo Siosk-Baas (deceased), Master of Galactic History**

**Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington - Canderous Ordo (deceased), spirit of House Revan**

**Patrick Delaney-Podmore - Zac'ryah Vos (deceased), spirit of the Kiffar Army**

**Bloody Baron - Jace Malcom (deceased), spirit of House Kun**

**Fat Friar - Mission Vau (deceased), spirit of House Surik**

**Helena Ravenclaw - Satele Shan (deceased), spirit of House Shan**

**Myrtle - Lorana Jinzler (deceased), spirit of the first floor girls' refresher**

**Peeves - PROXY (amortal), holodroid**

**Fang - Drang (age unknown), vornskr**

**Giant Squid - Colo Claw Fish**

**Basilisk - Dragonsnake (centuries old), monster**

**Cornelius Fudge - Finis Valorum (age 46), Supreme Chancellor**

**Scabbers (Peter Pettigrew) - Nute Gunray (age 33), Sith disguised as womp rat (Viceroy)**

**Hermes - M-TD (age 16), translator owl**

**Irma Pince - Jocasta Nu (age 81), archivist**

**Aurora Sinistra - Tionne Solusar (age 42), Master of Astronomy**

**Mafalda Hopkirk - Viqi Shesh (age 38), Republic bureaucrat**

**Lavender Brown - Bria Tharen (age 12), second year**

**Aragog - Poggle (age 52), Geonosian leader**

**Ernie McMillan - Corran Horn (age 12), second year**

**Hannah Abbot - Iella Wessiri (age 12), second year**

**Justin Finch-Fletchley - Gavin Darklighter (age 12), second year**

**Susan Bones - Mirax Terrik (age 12), second year**

**Pomona Sprout - Yaddle (age 69), Master of the Living Force**

**Mafalda Goshawk - Mander Zuma (age 50), author (mention only)**

**Armando Dippet - Fae Coven (deceased), former Grand Master**

**Mr. Mason - Mr. Whitsun (age 50), businessman**

**Mrs. Mason - Mrs. Whitsun (age 50), businesswoman**

**Mundungus Fletcher - Niles Ferrier (age 50), smuggler (mention only)**

**Olive Hornby - Jenna Zan Arbor (deceased), Jedi student**

_**Locations**_**:**

**Hogwarts School - Jedi Temple (Chamber of Secrets - Dark Temple)**

**The Burrow - The Trader's Luck**

**Ottery St. Catchpole - Coronet, Corellia**

**Gringotts Bank - Muunilinst**

**Leaky Cauldron - Chalmun's Cantina**

**Diagon Alley - Mos Eisley**

**Flourish and Blotts - Obroa-skai**

**Forbidden Forest - Endor Moon**

**Surrey - Tatooine**

**Number 4, Privet Drive - Lars Homestead**

**Platform 9 3/4 - Docking Bay 94**

**KIng's Cross Station - Mos Eisley Spaceport**

**Quidditch Pitch - Smashball Field**

**Madam Malkin's - Shmi Skywalker's**

**London - Coruscant**

**Hogsmeade Station - Docking Bay 327**

**Hogwarts Express - Jedi Cruiser**

**Knockturn Alley - Nar Shaddaa (Borgin and Burkes - Arkos and Thynes)**

**_Species_:**

**Human - Human**

**Goblin - Muun**

**Dwarves - Melodies**

**Half-Giant - Wookiee**

**Muggle - Mundane Beings**

**Wizard - Force user**

**Acromantula - Geonosian**

**Boarhound - Vornskr**

**House-elf - Gungan**

**Owl - Droid**

**Pixie - Vagaari**

**Phoenix - Fosh**

**Ghost - Force spirit**

**Poltergeist - Holodroid**

_**Organization**_

**Gryffindor - Revan**

**Slytherin - Kun**

**Ravenclaw - Shan**

**Hufflepuff - Surik**

**Death Eater - Sith Order**

**Order of the Phoenix - Jedi Order**

**Ministry of Magic - Galactic Republic**

_**Other**_**:**

**Wizard's Chess - Dejarik**

**Quidditch - Smashball**

**Bludgers - Dovin Basals**

**Quaffle - Grav-ball**

**Golden Snitch - Golden Globe**

**Apparition - Force Travel**

**Disarming Charm - Force Disarm**


	2. The Worst Naming Day

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke Skywalker and his astromech droid R2-D2._

**R2-D2. **_[tootles loudly]_

**Luke. **I can't let you out, Artoo. I'm not allowed to use the Force outside the Temple. Besides, if Uncle Owen . . .

**Owen. **Luke Skywalker!

**Luke. **Now you've done it.

_Exit Artoo._

_Enter Beru Lars._

**Beru. **He's in there, Owen.

_Enter Owen and Jek Porkins Lars._

**Owen. **If you cannot control that bloody droid, it will have to go.

**Luke. **But he's bored. If I could only let him out for an hour or two . . .

**Owen. **Do I look stupid? I know what will happen if that droid's released.

**Jek. **I want more bacon.

**Beru. **There's more in the frying pan, sweetums. We must build you up while we've got the chance. I don't like the sound of that school food.

**Owen. **Nonsense, Beru. I never went hungry when I was at Corulag. Jek gets enough, don't you, son?

**Jek. **_[to Luke] _Pass the frying pan.

**Luke. **You've forgotten the magic word.

**Jek. **_[gasps]_

**Beru. **_[screams]_

_Owen leaps to his feet._

**Luke. **I meant please. I didn't mean . . .

**Owen. **What have I told you about saying the "m" word in our house?

**Luke. **But I . . .

**Owen. **How dare you threaten Jek!

**Luke. **I just . . .

**Owen. **I warned you! I will not tolerate mention of your abnormality under this roof!

**Luke. **All right. All right. _[aside] _If the Larses are unhappy to have me back for the holidays, it's nothing like I feel. I miss the Jedi Praxeum so much, it's like a constant stomachache. I miss the Temple, with its secret passageways and Force spirits, my classes (though perhaps not the Potions Master Darth Vader), the mail's arriving by droid, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in my bed in the tower dormitory, visiting the gamekeeper Chewbacca in his wroshyr treehouse near the forest moon of Endor, and especially, Smashball with its six tall goalposts, four flying balls, and fourteen players in starfighters. But as far as the Larses are concerned, being Force-sensitive is a shame. They probably haven't even remembered that today is my twelfth birthday. . . .

**Owen.** Now, as we all know, today is a very important day. This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career.

**Luke. **_[aside] _Of course. Uncle Owen is talking about the stupid dinner party. He's talked about nothing else for the last two weeks. Some rich builder and his wife are coming to dinner and Uncle Owen's hoping to get a huge order from them.

**Owen. **I think we should run through our schedule one more time. We should all be in position at twenty hundred hours. Beru. You will be . . .

**Beru. **In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously into our home.

**Owen. **Good, good. And Jek?

**Jek. **I'll be waiting to open the door.

**Owen. **Excellent, Jek. _[to Luke] _And you?

**Luke. **I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.

**Owen. **Exactly. I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Beru, and pour them drinks. At twenty-fifteen . . .

**Beru. **I'll announce dinner.

**Owen. **And Jek. You'll say . . .

**Jek. **May I take you through the dining room, Mistress Whitsun?

**Owen. **_[to Luke] _And you?

**Luke. **I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.

**Owen. **Precisely. Now, we should aim to get a few good compliments in at dinner. Beru. Any ideas?

**Beru. **Owen tells me you are a wonderful golfer, Master Whitsun. Do tell me where you bought that dress, Mistress Whitsun.

**Owen. **Perfect. Jek?

**Jek. **How about, "We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Master Whitsun, and I wrote about you."

_Beru bursts into tears and hugs her son._

_Luke dives under the table and laughs._

**Owen. **And you, boy?

_Luke stands up._

**Luke. **I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.

**Owen. **Too right, you will. The Whitsuns don't know anything about you and it's going to stay that way. When dinner's over, you take Mistress Whitsun back to the lounge for caf, Beru, and I'll bring the subject around to hydrospanners. With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the news at twenty-two hundred hours and be shopping for a vacation home on Alderaan by this time tomorrow.

**Luke. **_[aside] _I can't feel to excited about this. I doubt the Larses will like my any more on Alderaan than they do here.

**Owen. **Right. I'm off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Jek and me. _[to Luke] _And you. You stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning.

_Exit all but Luke._

**Luke. **Happy naming day to me. Happy naming day to me. _[aside] _No cards, no presents, and I'll be spending the evening pretending that I don't exist. I've never felt this lonely. More than anything else at the Jedi Temple, I miss my friends Han Solo and Leia Organa. They, however, don't seem to be missing me at all. I haven't been receiving any letters from any of my friends. Not one, all summer.

_Enter Jek._

**Jek. **I know what day it is.

**Luke. **What?

**Jek. **I know what day it is.

**Luke. **Well done. So you've finally learned the days of the week.

**Jek. **Today's your birthday. How come you haven't got any cards? Haven't you even got friends at that freak place?

**Luke. **You better not let your mother hear your talking about the Temple.

**Jek. **_[suspicious] _Why are you staring at that hedge?

**Luke. **I'm trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire.

**Jek. **You can't. Dad told you you're not to use the Force. He said he'll chuck you out of the house. And you haven't got anywhere else to go. You haven't got any friends to take you. . . .

**Luke. **Jiggery pokery. Hocus pocus. Squiggly wiggly.

**Jek. **Mom! Mom! He's doing you-know-what.

_Exit all but Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside] _I paid for my moment of fun. As neither Jek nor the hedge was hurt at all, Aunt Beru knew I hadn't actually used the Force. But I still had to duck, as she came at me with a frying pan. Now she puts me to work, with the promise that I won't eat until I'm finished.

_Enter Beru._

**Beru. **It's half past nineteen hundred hours. Get in here. And walk on the newspaper.

_Luke sits at the table and eats a cheese sandwich._

Eat quickly. The Whitsuns will be here soon.

_Luke hastily finishes eating._

Upstairs. Hurry.

_Luke heads upstairs._

_Enter Owen and Jek._

**Owen. **Remember, boy. One sound . . .

_Exit all._


	3. Jar Jar's Warning

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, walking into his room._

_Enter Jar Jar Binks, an tall amphibious creature with big orange eyes._

**Luke. **Hello.

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker. What an honor it is!

**Luke. **Thank you. Who are you?

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar, sir. Jar Jar the Gungan.

**Luke. **I don't mean to be rude or anything, but this really isn't a good time for me to have a Gungan in my bedroom.

**Jar Jar. **Yes, sir. Jar Jar understands. It's just that . . . It is difficult, sir. Jar Jar isn't sure where to begin.

**Luke. **Why don't you sit down?

**Jar Jar. **S-sit down? O! _[bursts into tears] _Never . . . never ever . . .

**Luke. **I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything.

**Jar Jar. **Offend Jar Jar? Jar Jar has heard of your greatness, sir. But never has he been asked to sit down by a Force user, like an equal.

**Luke. **You can't have met many decent Force users, then.

**Jar Jar. **No. I haven't. _[looks horrified] _That was an awful thing to say.

_Jar Jar leaps up and hits himself over the head._

Bad Jar Jar! Bad Jar Jar!

**Luke. **Don't. What are you doing?

_R2-D2 awakes and screeches loudly._

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar had to punish himself, sir. Jar Jar almost spoke ill of his family, sir.

**Luke. **Your family?

**Jar Jar. **The Force-using family Jar Jar serves, sir. Jar Jar is bound to serve one family forever.

**Luke. **Do they know you're here?

**Jar Jar. **O! No, sir. Jar Jar will have to punish himself most grievously for coming to see you, sir. Jar Jar will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this. If they ever knew, sir . . .

**Luke. **But won't they notice if you shut your ears in the oven door?

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar doubts it, sir. Jar Jar is always having to punish himself for something, sir. They lets Jar Jar get on with it, sir. Sometimes they reminds him to do extra punishments. . . .

**Luke. **But why don't you leave? Escape?

**Jar Jar. **A Gungan must be set free, sir. And the family will never set Jar Jar free. Jar Jar will serve the family until he dies, sir.

**Luke. **And I thought I had it bad staying here for another four weeks. This makes the Larses sound almost civilized. Can't anyone help you? Can't I?

_Jar Jar bursts into tears._

Please. Please be quiet. If the Larses hear anything, if they know you're here . . .

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker asks if he can help Jar Jar. Jar Jar has heard of your greatness, sir. But of your goodness? Jar Jar had no idea.

**Luke. **Whatever you've heard of my greatness is a load of rubbish. I'm not even top of my year at the Temple. That's Leia. She . . .

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker is humble and modest. Luke Skywalker speaks not of his triumph over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

**Luke. **Sidious?

**Jar Jar. **O! Speak not the name, sir. Speak not the name.

**Luke. **Sorry. I know a lot of people don't like it. My friend Han . . .

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar has heard tell that Luke Skywalker met the Dark Lord for a second time just weeks ago, that Luke Skywalker escaped yet again.

_Luke nods._

O! Sir! Luke Skywalker is valiant and bold. He has braved so many dangers already. But Jar Jar has come to protect Luke Skywalker, to warn him. Luke Skywalker must not go back to the Jedi Temple this season.

**Luke. **What? But I have to go back. Term starts on the first of September. It's all that's keeping me going. You don't know what it's like here. I belong in your world, at the Jedi Temple.

**Jar Jar. **No, no, no. Luke Skywalker must stay where it's safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Luke Skywalker goes back to the Jedi Temple, he will be in mortal danger.

**Luke. **Why?

**Jar Jar. **There is a plot, a plot to make the most terrible things happen.

**Luke. **What terrible things? Who's plotting them?

**Jar Jar. **_[moans] _O! I . . . can't . . . say . . .

_Jar Jar bangs his head against the wall; Luke pulls him back._

**Luke. **Okay. I understand. You can't say. But why are you warning me? Hang on. This hasn't got anything to do with Sid . . . sorry . . . with You-Know-Who, has it? You could just shake or nod.

**Jar Jar. **_[shakes his head] _Not . . . not He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, sir. . . .

**Luke. **_[aside] _He seems to be trying to give me a hint, but I'm completely lost. _[to Jar Jar] _He hasn't got a brother, has he?

_Jar Jar shakes his head._

Well then, I can't think who else would have a chance of making horrible things happen at the Jedi Temple. I mean, there's Yoda, for one thing. You know who Yoda is, don't you?

**Jar Jar. **Yoda is the greatest Grand Master the Jedi Temple has ever had. Jar Jar knows it, sir. Jar Jar has heard Yoda's powers rival those of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named at the height of his strength. But sir. There are powers Yoda doesn't . . . powers no decent Force-user . . .

_Jar Jar leaps up and bangs his head against the wall._

_Luke hears footsteps coming up._

**Owen. **Jek must have left the holovision on again, the little tyke.

**Luke. **Quick. In the closet.

_Exit Jar Jar._

_Enter Owen._

**Owen. **What in the devil are you doing up here? You've just ruined the punchline of my Alsakan golfer joke. One more sound, and you'll wish you'd never been born, boy.

_Exit Owen._

_Enter Jar Jar._

**Luke. **See why I have to go back? I don't belong here. I belong in your world, at the Jedi Temple. It's the only place I've got friends.

**Jar Jar. **Friends that don't even write to Luke Skywalker?

**Luke. **Well, I expect they've been . . . Hang on. How do _you _know my friends haven't been writing to me?

**Jar Jar. **_[removes a stack of letters] _Luke Skywalker mustn't be angry with Jar Jar. Jar Jar _hoped _if Luke Skywalker thought his friends had forgotten him, Luke Skywalker might not want to go back to the Temple, sir.

**Luke. **Give me those . . . now.

**Jar Jar. **No!

_Jar Jar runs out of the room._

_Luke follows Jar Jar out of the room._

_Jar Jar crouches near Beru's cake._

**Luke. **Jar Jar. Get back here.

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker must say he's not going back to the Temple.

**Luke. **I can't. The Jedi Temple is my home.

**Jar Jar. **Then Jar Jar must do it, sir, for Luke Skywalker's own good.

_Using the Force, Jar Jar levitates the cake from the ground and drops it onto the floor, icing and cream splattered everywhere._

_Exit Jar Jar, making the jump to hyperspace._

_Enter the Larses and the Whitsuns._

**Beru. **Well, we have ice cream.

**Owen. **It's my nephew. He's very disturbed. Meeting strangers upsets him. That's why we kept him upstairs.

_Beru passes out ice cream._

_Enter Droid, with a message for Luke._

_The droid drops the message on Mistress Whitsun's head._

**Mistress Whitsun. **_[screams]_

_Exit Mistress Whitsun._

**Master Whitsun. **Master Lars. For your information, my wife is mortally afraid of droids. Is this your idea of a joke?

_Exit Master Whitsun._

_Owen advances on Luke._

**Owen. **Read it. Go on. Read it.

_Luke activates the message._

_Enter Viqi Shesh, the holographic imitation of a beautiful young woman._

**Shesh. **Dear Master Skywalker. We have received intelligence that levitation was used at your place of residence this evening at twelve minutes past twenty-one hundred hours. As you know, underage Force-users are not permitted to use the Force outside the Jedi Temple, and further Force-using on your part may lead to expulsion from the Temple (Jedi Code, 25,000 BBY, Paragraph Cresh). We would also ask you to remember that any Force-sensitive activity that risks notice by members of the mundane community is a serious offense under section thirteen of the Galactic Federation of Free Alliances' Secrecy Act. Enjoy your holidays! Yours sincerely, Viqi Shesh - Council of Observers, Galactic Republic.

_Exit Shesh._

_Luke gulps._

**Owen. **You didn't tell us you weren't allowed to use the Force outside the Jedi Temple. Forgot to mention it, slipped your mind, I daresay. Well, I've got news for you, boy. I'm locking you up. You're never going back to that temple. Never! And if you try to Force your way out, they'll expel you.

_Owen laughs maniacally._

_Exit all._


	4. The YT-1300 Freighter

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and R2-D2, locked in his bedroom with bars on his window._

_Luke wakes from his sleep._

_Enter Han, Jacen, and Ben Solo, piloting an old YT-1300 freighter._

**Han. **Hello, Luke.

**Luke. **_[standing up] _Han. Jacen. Ben. What are you all doing here?

**Han. **What's been going on? Why haven't you been answering my letters? I've asked you to stay about twelve times. And then Dad came home and said you'd gotten an official warning for using the Force in front of mundanes . . .

**Luke. **It wasn't me. And how did he know?

**Han. **He works for the Republic. You know we're not supposed to use the Force outside the Jedi Temple.

**Luke. **_[indicates the YT-1300] _You should talk.

**Han. **O! This doesn't count. We're only borrowing this. It's Dad's. We didn't enchant it. But using the Force in front of the mundanes you live with . . .

**Luke. **I told you, I didn't. But it will take too long to explain now. Look. Tell them at the Jedi Temple that the Larses have locked me up and won't let me come back, and obviously I can't Force myself out, because the Republic will think that's the second spell I've done in three days, so . . .

**Han. **Stop gibbering. We've come to take you home with us.

**Luke. **But you can't Force me out either.

**Han. **We don't need to. You forget who I've got with me.

**Jacen. **_[throws an end of rope to Luke] _Tie that around the bars.

**Luke. **_[ties rope] _If the Larses wake up, I'm dead.

**Jacen. **Don't worry and stand back.

_Luke steps backward._

_Jacen flies straight into the air, breaking the bars off the window._

_Han hoists them onto the freighter._

**Han. **Get in.

**Luke. **But all my Jedi stuff - my lightsaber, my X-wing . . .

**Han. **Where is it?

**Luke. **In the garage. And I can't get out of this room . . .

**Ben. **No problem. Out of the way, Luke.

_Jacen and Ben enter Luke's room and pick the lock of his door._

**Jacen. **A lot of Force-users think it's a waste of time, learning this mundane trick. But we feel their skills are worth learning, even if they are a bit slow.

_The door unlocks._

**Ben. **So, we'll get your trunk. You grab anything you need from your room and hand it out to Han.

**Luke. **Watch out for the bottom stair. It creaks.

_Exit Jacen and Ben._

_Luke collects his things and hands them to Han. _

_Luke runs downstairs to help Jacen and Ben._

_The three of them carry Luke's trunk upstairs and load it onto the YT-1300._

**Jacen. **Okay. Let's go.

_Jacen and Ben return to the freighter._

_Luke prepares to join them._

**R2-D2. **_[screeches]_

**Owen. **That ruddy droid!

**Luke. **I've forgotten Artoo.

_Luke hurriedly grabs Artoo's cage and passes it along to the Solos._

_Luke climbs in._

_Enter Owen._

**Owen. **_[bellows angrily]_

_Owen grabs Luke's ankle._

_The Solos pull on Luke's arms._

Beru. He's escaping. He's escaping!

_The Solos break Luke free from Owen's grasp and into the freighter._

**Han. **Jacen. Drive.

_Jacen pilots the freighter away from the Lars homestead._

**Luke. **See you next summer.

_Exit Owen._

_The Solos laugh._

Let Artoo out. He can fly behind us. He hasn't had a chance to exercise his rockets for ages.

_Artoo flies out the viewport._

**Han. **So what's the story, Luke? What's been happening?

_Luke explains about Jar Jar and his antics._

**Jacen. **Very fishy.

**Ben. **Definitely dodgy. So he wouldn't even tell you who's been plotting all this stuff?

**Luke. **I don't think he could. I told you, everytime he got close to letting something slip, he started banging his head against the wall.

_Jacen and Ben exchange looks._

What, you think he was lying to me?

**Jacen. **Well, put it this way, Gungans are very strong in the Force, but they can't use it without their master's permission. I reckon old Jar Jar was sent to stop your returning to the Jedi Temple, someone's idea of a joke. Can you think of anyone at the Temple with a grudge against you?

_Luke and Han exchange looks._

**Both. **Marek.

**Luke. **Galen Marek. He hates me.

**Ben. **Galen Marek? Not Dooku Marek's son?

**Luke. **Must be. It's not a very common name, is it?

**Ben. **I've heard Dad's talking about him. He was a big supporter of You-Know-Who.

**Jacen. **And when You-Know-Who disappeared, Dooku Marek came back, saying he'd never meant any of it. Load of dung. Dad reckons he was right in You-Know-Who's inner circle.

**Luke. **I don't know whether Marek's family owns a Gungan.

**Jacen. **Well, whoever owns him will be an old Force-sensitive family, and they'll be rich.

**Ben. **Yeah. Mom's always wishing we had a Gungan to do the ironing. But all we've got is a lousy old Ryn in the attic and Jawas all over the garden. Gungans come with big old manors and castles and places like that. You wouldn't catch one in our house.

**Han. **I'm glad we came to get you, anyway. I was getting really worried when you didn't answer any of my letters. I thought it was Fiver's fault at first.

**Luke. **Who's Fiver?

**Han. **Our droid. He's ancient. It wouldn't be the first time he'd collapsed on a delivery. So then I tried to borrow Em Teedee . . .

**Luke. **Who?

**Jacen. **The droid Mom and Dad bought Threepio when he was made prefect.

**Han. **But Threepio wouldn't lend him to me, said he needed him.

**Ben. **Threepio's been acting very oddly this summer. And he has been sending a lot of letters and spending a load of time shut up in his room. I mean, there's only so many times you can polish a prefect badge. _[to Jacen] _You're flying too far west, Jacen.

_Jacen made adjustments to his trajectory._

**Luke. **So does your father know you've got the freighter?

**Han. **Er, no. He had to work tonight. Hopefully, we'll be able to get it back to the garage without Mom's noticing we flew it.

**Luke. **So what does your father do for the Galactic Republic, anyway?

**Han. **He works in the most boring department. The Misuse of Mundane Artifacts Office.

**Luke. **The what?

**Han. **It's all to do with bewitching things that are mundane-made, in case they end up back in a mundane shop or house. Like, last year, some old Force-user died and her tea set was sold to an antiques shop. This mundane woman bought it, took it home, and tried to serve her friends tea in it. It was a nightmare. Dad was working overtime for weeks.

**Luke. **What happened?

**Han. **The teapot went berserk and squirted boiling tea all over the place. One men ended up in the hospital with the sugar tongs clamped to his nose. Dad was going frantic; it's only him and an old Force-user called Peckhum in the office. And they had to do memory rubs and all sorts of stuff to cover it up.

**Luke. **But your father . . . this freighter . . .

**Jacen. **_[laughs] _Yeah. Dad's crazy about everything to do about mundanes. Our shed's full of mundane stuff. He takes it apart, puts spells on it, and puts it back together again. If he raided our house, he'd have to put himself under arrest. It drives Mom mad.

**Ben. **_[peering down the windshield] _That's the main road. We'll be there in ten minutes. Just as well. It's getting light.

_Luke notices a village's appearing on the horizon._

We're a little way outside the village. Coronet City.

_The freighter lands on the outskirts of Corellia's capital._

**Jacen. **Touchdown!

_Exit all._


	5. The Trader's Luck

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, Jacen, and Ben._

_They approach another old freighter, The Trader's Luck._

**Han. **It's not much. But it's home.

**Luke. **I think it's brilliant.

_Enter Jaina Solo, looking furious._

**Jacen. **O!

**Ben. **Oh, dear.

**Jaina. **So.

**Ben. **Morning, Mom.

**Jaina. **Have you any idea how worried I've been?

**Ben. **Sorry, Mom. But see, we had to . . .

**Jaina. **Beds empty! No note! Freighter gone! You could have died. You could have been seen. You could have lost your father his job.

_Jaina turns toward Luke, who backs away._

I'm very pleased to see you, Luke, dear. Come in and have some breakfast.

_Jaina returns to the house._

_Luke and the Solos follow her._

_Luke hears music coming from a radio by the sink, as Jaina fixes breakfast._

**Radio. **Music Hour, with popular singing Pa'lowick, Sy Snootles.

**Jaina. **_[muttering] _I don't know what you were thinking of. I never would have believed it. _[to Luke] _Of course, I don't blame you, Luke, dear. Jonash and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night, we were saying we'd come and get you ourselves, if you hadn't written back to Han by Benduday. _[passes plates of breakfast around] _But really, flying an illegal freighter halfway across the galaxy. Anyone could have seen you.

_Using the Force, Jaina causes the dishes to begin washing themselves._

**Jacen. **It was cloudy, Mom.

**Jaina. **You keep your mouth closed while you're eating.

**Han. **They were starving him, Mom. There were bars on his window.

**Jaina. **You best hope I don't put bars on your window, Han Solo.

_Enter Mara Jade Solo, a small girl with green eyes and red-gold hair._

**Mara. **Mom . . . Mommy. Have you seen my jumper?

**Jaina. **Yes, dear. It was on the nexu.

**Luke. **Hello.

**Mara. **_[squeals]_

_Exit Mara._

**Luke. **Er, what did I do?

**Han. **Mara. She's been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying, really.

_Luke and the Solos finish eating._

**Jacen. **_[stretches] _Blimey, I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed and . . .

**Jaina. **You will not. It's your own fault you've been up all night. You're going to de-Jawa the garden for me. They're getting completely out of hand again.

**Jacen. **O! Mom . . .

**Jaina. **_[to Han and Ben] _And you two. _[to Luke] _You can go up to bed. You didn't ask them to fly that wretched freighter . . .

**Luke. **I'll help Han. I've never seen a de-Jawa-ing.

**Jaina. **That's very sweet of you, dear, but it's dull work. Now, let's see what Farfalla's got to say on the subject.

_Jaina pulls out a holobook, _Valenthyne Farfalla's Guide to Household Pests_._

**Ben. **Mom. We know how to de-Jawa a garden. . . .

_Luke notices the holograph on the cover: Valenthyne Farfalla, a flamboyant man with blond hair and cloven hooves._

**Jaina. **O! He's marvelous. He knows his household pests, all right. It's a wonderful book.

**Han. **Mom fancies him.

**Jaina. **Don't be ridiculous, Han. All right. If you think you know better than Farfalla, you can go and get on with it. And woe betide you if there's a single Jawa in that garden, when I come out to inspect it.

_Exit Jaina._

_Luke, Han, Jacen, and Ben enter the garden._

_Enter Jawas, hooded rodents with glowing yellow eyes._

**First Jawa. **Get off me! Get off me!

**Han. **This is what you have to do. _[swings First Jawa in circles] _It doesn't hurt them. You've just got to make them really dizzy, so they can't find their way back to the sandcrawlers.

_Han releases First Jawa, who goes flying twenty feet away._

**Jacen. **Pitiful. I bet I can get mine beyond that stump.

_Luke picks up Second Jawa, thinking of showing the creature mercy._

_Second Jawa, sensing mercy, bites into his arm._

_Luke manages to shake it off._

Wow, Luke. That must have been fifty feet.

_Enter Jawas, more of the those same creatures._

**Ben. **See? They're not too bright. The moment they know the de-Jawa-ing's going on, they storm up to have a look. You'd think they'd have learned by now just to stay put.

_Before long, Luke and the Solos rid themselves of the Jawas._

**Han. **They'll be back. They love it here. Dad's too soft with them. He thinks they're funny.

_Inside, the front door slams._

**Ben. **He's back. Dad's home.

_Luke and the Solos return to the house._

_Enter Jonash Solo, a balding man with brown hair._

**Jonash. **What a night. Nine raids. Nine! And old Niles Ferrier tried to put a hex on me when I had my back turned. . . .

_Jonash drinks a cup of tea and sighs._

**Jacen. **Find anything, Dad?

**Jonash. **All I got were a few shrinking door keycards and a biting kettle. There was some pretty nasty stuff that wasn't in my department, though. Matalis was taken in for questioning about some extremely odd nunas. But that's for the Experimental Weapons Division. Thank the Force.

**Ben. **Why would anyone bother making keycards shrink?

**Jonash. **_[sighs] _Just mundane-baiting. Sell them a keycard that keeps shrinking to nothing, so they can never find it when they need it. Of course, it's very hard to convict anyone because no mundane would admit their keycards keep shrinking. They'll insist they just keep losing it. Bless them, they'll go any lengths to ignore the Force, even if it's staring them in the face. But the things our lot have taken to enchanting, you wouldn't believe . . .

_Enter Jaina._

**Jaina. **Like freighters, for instance?

**Jonash. **F-freighters, Jaina, dear?

**Jaina. **Yes, Jonash, freighters. Imagine a Force-user's buying a rusty old YT-1300 freighter and telling his wife all he wanted to do with it was take it apart to see how it worked, while really he was enchanting it to make it fly.

**Jonash. **_[blinks] _Well, dear, I think you'll find that he would be quite within the law to do that, even if . . . er . . . he might have been more well-placed to . . . um . . . tell his wife the truth. There's a loophole in the law, you'll find. As long as he wasn't intending on flying the ship, the fact that the ship can fly . . .

**Jaina. **Jonash Solo. You made sure that there was a loophole when you wrote that law. Just so you could carry on tinkering with all that mundane rubbish in your shed. And for your information, Luke arrived this morning in the ship you weren't intending to fly.

**Jonash. **Luke? Luke who? _[notices Luke] _By the Force! Is it Luke Skywalker? Very pleased to meet you. Han's told us about you, of course.

**Jaina. **Your sons flew that YT-1300 freighter to Tatooine and back last night. What have you got to say about that, eh?

**Jonash. **Did you really? How did it go? _[sees the look in Jaina's eyes] _I mean, that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.

**Han. **_[to Luke] _Let's leave them to it. Come on. I'll show you my bedroom.

_Luke and Han walk upstairs. _

_Exit all but Luke and Han._

_Enter Mara, peeking out of her room._

_Exit Mara, once she sees them._

Mara. You don't know how weird it is for her to be this shy. She doesn't shut up normally.

_Luke and Han enter Han's bedroom._

_Luke sees a holograph of seven Force-users in starfighters. _

**Luke. **Your Smashball team?

**Han. **The Corellian Dreadnaughts. Ninth in the league.

_Luke examines Han's room: He sees several comic books entitled _The Adventures of Rastus Khul the Mad Corellian_, a fish tank full of frog spawn, and the womp rat Viceroy, sitting on the table._

It's a bit small, not like the room you had with the mundanes. And I'm right underneath the Ryn in the attic; he's always banging on the pipes and groaning.

**Luke. **This is the best house I've ever been in.

_Exit all._


	6. Leia's Message

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, walking in the kitchen._

_Enter Jonash, Jaina, and Mara._

_Upon seeing Luke, Mara knocks over a bowl of porridge; Luke pretends not to notice._

**Jonash. **_[passing out letters] _Letters from the Temple. Yoda must know you're here, Luke. Doesn't miss a trick, that man.

_Enter Jacen and Ben._

You two have got them, too.

_Luke glances at his letter._

**Message. **Second year initiates will require: _A Standard Book of the Force, Volume II _by Mander Zuma | _Break with a Banshee _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Gadding with Ryn _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Holidays with Clawdites _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Travels with Wampas _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Voyages with Anzati _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Wanderings with Mandalorians _by Valenthyne Farfalla | _Year with the Talz _by Valenthyne Farfalla

**Jacen. **_[peers at Luke's list] _You've been told to get all Farfalla's books, too. The new Defense Against the Dark Side Master must be a fan. I bet it's a female.

_Jaina glares at him._

**Ben. **This lot won't come cheap, Mom. The spell books alone are very expensive.

**Jaina. **We'll manage. I expect we'll be able to pick up a lot of Mara's things secondhand.

**Luke. **_[to Mara] _O! Are you starting at the Jedi Temple this season?

_Mara nods, blushing._

_Enter See Threepio Solo._

**Threepio. **Morning, all. Lovely day.

_Enter Fiver, an ancient astromech droid._

**Han. **Fiver. Finally - he's got Leia's answer. I wrote to her, saying we were going to try and rescue you from the Larses.

_Fiver passes out._

Pathetic.

_Enter Leia Organa, a holographic recording. _

**Leia. **Dear Han and Luke, if you're there. I hope everything went all right and that Luke is okay, and that you didn't do anything illegal to get him out, Han, because that would get Luke in trouble, too. I've been really worried, and if Luke is all right, will you please let me know at once? But perhaps it would be better if you used a different droid because I think another delivery might finish your one off. I'm very busy with schoolwork, of course. . . .

**Han. **How can she be? We're on vacation.

**Leia. **And we're going to Coruscant next Taungsday to buy my new books. Why don't we meet in Mos Eisley? Let me know what's happening as soon as you can. Love from Leia.

_Exit Leia._

**Jaina. **Well, that fits in nicely. We can go and get your things then, too. What are you all up to today?

_Exit Jonash, Jaina, Threepio, Mara, and Fiver._

_Luke, Han, Jacen, and Ben play Smashball outside._

_Enter Threepio._

**Han. **We're playing Smashball. Care to join?

**Threepio. **I'm busy.

_Exit Threepio._

**Jacen. **I wish I knew what he was up to. He's not himself. His exam results came the day before you did; twelve J.I.T.s, and he hardly gloated at all.

_Luke stares at him._

**Ben. **Jedi Inititate Trials. Kyle got twelve, too. If we're not careful, we'll have another Head Boy in the family. I don't think I could stand the shame.

**Luke. **_[aside] _Kyle Katarn is the eldest Solo brother. He and the next brother, Malakili, have already left the Jedi Temple. I have never met either of them, but I know that Malakili is on Dathomir studying dragons and Kyle is on Mygeeto working for the galactic bank Muunilinst.

**Ben. **I don't know how Mom and Dad are going to afford all our school stuff this season. Five sets of Farfalla's books! And Mara needs robes and a wand and everything. . . .

**Luke. **_[aside] _This makes me feel a bit awkward. Stored in an underground vault on Muunilinst, I have a small fortune that my parents left me. Of course, it's only in the Force-sensitive world that I have credits; you can't use dataries and decicreds in mundane shops. I've never mentioned my Muunlinst bank account to the Larses. I don't think their horror of anything connected with the Force would stretch to a large pile of credits.

_Exit all._


	7. Nar Shaddaa

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, Jacen, Ben, Mara, Threepio, Jonash, and Jaina._

**Jaina. **There's only one place we're going to get all this. Mos Eisley.

_Jaina picks up their hyperdrive._

We're running low, Jonash. We'll have to buy some more today. Ah, well. Guests first. After you, Luke, dear.

_She offers him the hyperdrive._

**Han. **But Luke's never traveled through hyperspace before, Mom.

**Luke. **_[frowns] _Hyperspace?

**Jonash. **Never? But how did you get to Mos Eisley to buy your school things last season?

**Luke. **I went on the Coruscant Subway . . .

**Jonash. **Really? Did they have repulsors? How exactly . . . ?

**Jaina. **Not now, Jonash. Hyperspace is a lot quicker, dear. But by the Force, if you've never used it before . . .

**Jacen. **He'll be all right, Mom. Luke. Watch us first.

_Jacen throws some hyperdrive powder into the fireplace._

_He jumps into the fire._

Mos Eisley!

_Exit Jacen._

**Jaina. **You must speak clearly, dear. And be sure to get out of the right hyperlane.

**Luke. **The right what?

**Ben. **_[in the fireplace] _Mos Eisley!

_Exit Ben._

**Jaina. **Well, there are an awful lot of galactic fires to choose from. But as long as you've spoken clearly . . .

**Jonash. **He'll be fine, Jaina. Don't fuss.

**Jaina. **But dear. If he gets lost, how will we explain it to his aunt and uncle?

**Luke. **They wouldn't mind. Jek would think it was a brilliant joke if I got lost in hyperspace. Don't worry about that.

**Jaina. **Well, all right. You go after Jonash.

**Jonash. **_[in the fireplace] _Mos Eisley!

_Exit Jonash._

**Jaina. **Now, when you get in the fire, say your destination.

**Han. **And keep your elbows tucked in.

**Jaina. **And your eyes shut. The soot . . .

**Han. **Don't fidget. Or you might well reverse out of the wrong hyperlane.

**Jaina. **But don't panic and get out too early. Wait until you see Jacen and Ben.

_Luke steps into the fireplace._

**Luke. **_[coughs] _Mos E-Eis-ley.

_Exit all but Luke, who vanishes into hyperspace._

_Luke reappears in Arkos and Thyne's, a black market shop on Nar Shaddaa._

_Luke walks around the shop._

_Enter Galen Marek._

_Luke dives into a sarcophagus before Marek sees him._

_Marek steps into the shop._

_Enter Dooku Marek, an regal-looking octogenarian with short silver hair and beard, wearing a long brown cape linked by a chain._

**Dooku. **Touch nothing, Galen.

**Marek. **Yes, Father. I thought you were going to buy me a present.

**Dooku. **I said I would by you a starfighter.

**Marek. **What's the good of that if I'm not on the House team? Luke Skywalker got an X-wing last season. Special permission from Yoda so he could play for Revan. He's not even that good. It's just because he's famous, famous for having a stupid scar on his forehead. Everyone thinks he's so smart. Wonderful Skywalker with his scar and starfighter . . .

**Dooku. **You have told me this at least a dozen times already. And I will remind you that it is not prudent to appear less than fond of Luke Skywalker, not when most of our kind regard him as the hero who made the Dark Lord disappear.

_Enter Seb Arkos, an older man with white hair._

Ah, Arky.

**Arkos. **Master Marek. What a pleasure to see you again. Delighted. And young Master Marek, as well. Charmed. How may I be of assistance? I must show you, just in today, and very reasonably priced . . .

**Dooku. **I'm not buying today, Arky, but selling.

**Arkos. **S-selling?

**Dooku. **You have heard, of course, that the Republic is conducting more raids. _[hands Arkos a roll of durasheet] _I have a few . . . ah . . . items at home that might embarrass me, if the Republic were to call.

**Arkos. **The Republic wouldn't presume to trouble you, sir, surely?

**Dooku. **_[curls lip] _I have not been visited yet. The name Marek still commands a certain respect, yet the Republic grows ever more meddlesome. There are rumors about a new Rights of Sentience Act, no doubt the work of that flea-bitten, mundane-loving fool Jonash Solo.

_Luke glares at Dooku, from inside his sarcophagus._

And as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear . . .

**Arkos. **I understand, sir. Of course. Let me see . . .

**Marek. **_[gestures to the Beam of Light] _Can I have that?

**Arkos. **O! The Beam of Light! Insert a glowrod and it gives light only to the beholder. Best friend of thieves and plunderers. Your son has fine taste, sir.

**Dooku. **I hope my son will amount to more than a thief or a plunderer, Arkos.

**Arkos. **No offense, sir. No offense meant . . .

**Dooku. **Though if his grades don't pick up, that may indeed be all he is fit for.

**Marek. **It's not my fault. The Masters all have favorites. That Leia Organa . . .

**Dooku. **I would have thought you'd be ashamed that a girl of no Force-sensitive family beat you in every exam.

**Luke. **_[aside] _O!

**Arkos. **It's the same all over. Force-sensitivity is counting for less everywhere.

**Dooku. **Not with me.

**Arkos. **_[bows] _No, sir. Nor with me, sir.

**Dooku. **In that case, perhaps we can return to my list. I am in something of a hurry, Arky. I have important business elsewhere today.

_As Dooku and Arkos haggle, Marek examines the items in the shop._

_Marek glances at the Muur Talisman of Sorzus Syn, with a legend written underneath._

**Legend. **Caution: Do not touch. Cursed - has claimed the lives of nineteen mundane beings to date.

_Marek walks near the sarcophagus, preparing to open it._

**Dooku. **Done. Come, Galen.

_Luke sighs._

Good day to you, Arky. I'll expect you at the château tomorrow to pick up the goods.

_Arkos gives a low bow._

_Exit Dooku and Marek._

**Arkos. **_[surly] _Good day to you, Master Marek. And if the stories are true, you haven't sold me half of what's hidden in your château. . . .

_Exit Arkos._

_Luke steps out of the sarcophagus and prepares to exit the shop._

_Enter Arkos, who places his hand on Luke's shoulder._

Looking for something?

**Luke. **_[hastily] _No.

_Exit Arkos._

_Luke runs out of the shop and into the wider Nar Shaddaa._

_Exit all._


	8. Reunion

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, walking through the streets of Nar Shaddaa._

_Enter Zam Wessel, a Clawdite assassin._

**Wessel. **_[placing her hand on Luke's shoulder] _Not lost, are you, my dear?

**Luke. **_[backing away] _I'm fine. Thank you. I . . . I was just . . .

_Wessel veers Luke toward a gang of criminals, including Elan Sel'Sabagno, a Balosar drug dealer._

**Wessel. **Come with us. We'll help you find your way back.

**Luke. **No! Please!

_Enter Chewbacca._

**Chewbacca. **Luke!

**Luke. **_[runs toward the Wookiee] _Chewie.

**Chewbacca. **What do you think you're doing down here?

_Wessel and Sel'Sabagno back away._

**Luke. **I was lost - hyperspace . . .

**Chewbacca. **_[grabs Luke] _Come on.

_Exit Wessel and Sel'Sabagno._

_Chewbacca leads Luke back into Mos Eisley._

You're a mess, Luke. Skulking around Nar Shaddaa? Dodgy place. People are going to think you're up to no good.

**Luke. **I realized that. I told you, I was lost. Hang on. What were you doing down there, then?

**Chewbacca. **Me? Oh, I was looking for Flesh-Eating bacterium repellent. They're ruining all the Temple cabbages. You're not on your own?

**Luke. **I'm staying with the Solos, but we got separated. I've got to go and find them. . . .

**Chewbacca. **How come you never wrote back to me?

_Luke explains about Jar Jar and the Larses._

Lousy mundanes. If I'd have known . . .

_Enter Leia Organa._

**Leia. **Luke. Chewie.

**Chewbacca. **Hello, Leia.

**Leia. **It's so great to see you.

**Luke. **Well, it's great to see you, too.

**Leia. **Are you coming to Muunilinst, Luke?

**Luke. **As soon as I've found the Solos.

**Chewbacca. **You won't have long to wait.

_Enter Han, Jacen, Ben, Threepio, and Jonash._

**Jonash. **Luke. Thank the Force! We'd hoped you'd only gone one hyperlane too far. Jaina's frantic. She's coming now.

**Han. **Where did you come out?

**Chewbacca. **Nar Shaddaa.

**Twins. **Excellent.

**Han. **We've never been allowed in.

**Chewbacca. **I should ruddy well think not.

_Enter Jaina and Mara._

**Jaina. **O! Luke. Oh, my dear. You could have been anywhere . . .

_Jaina hugs Chewbacca._

Nar Shaddaa! If you hadn't found him, Chewie . . .

**Chewbacca. **You'll be all right now, then, Luke? Right. I'll leave you to it, then. See you at the Temple.

_Exit Chewbacca._

**Luke. **Guess who I saw on Nar Shaddaa? Marek and his father.

**Jonash. **Did Dooku Marek buy anything?

**Luke. **No. He was selling . . .

**Jonash.** _[grinning] _So, he was worried. Oh, I'd love to get Dooku Marek for something.

**Jaina. **You be careful, Jonash. The family's trouble. Don't go biting off more than you can chew.

**Jonash. **So you don't think I'm a match for Dooku Marek?

_Enter Bail Organa, a handsome man with dark hair, and his wife Breha, a tanned woman with dark hair._

_The Organas immediately distract Jonash._

But you're mundane. We must have a drink. What's that you've got there? O! You're exchanging mundane credits. _[gestures to the credits] _Jaina. Look.

**Han. **_[to Leia] _Meet you back here.

_Exit Jonash and the Organas._

_Luke and the other Solos head for the underground vaults on Muunilinst._

_They enter the Solos' vault, where Jaina gathers up the small pile of dataries._

_Luke looks guilty, as he gathers handfuls of dataries and decicreds from the Skywalkers' vault._

_They leave Muunilinst._

**Threepio. **_[mutters] _I need a new pen.

_Exit Threepio._

_Enter Wes Janson._

_The Solo twins decide to go with him._

**Jaina. **We'll meet on Obroa-skai in an hour to buy your textbooks. _[to Jacen and Ben] _And not one step toward Nar Shaddaa.

_Exit Jacen, Ben, and Janson._

_Exit Jaina and Mara._

_Enter Leia._

_Luke, Han, and Leia are now alone wandering the streets of Mos Eisley._

_They enter Watto's Junk Shop._

_Enter Threepio, reading _Path to Power.

**Han. **"A study of Jedi prefects and their later careers." Fascinating.

**Threepio. **Go away.

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke and Leia] _Of course, he's ambitious, Threepio. He's got it all planned out. He wants to be Supreme Chancellor.

_Exit all._


	9. Obroa-skai

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia, on Obroa-skai._

_They notice a banner stretched across the window._

**Sign. **Valenthyne Farfalla will be signing copies of his autobiography _Blazing Rockets _today from 1230 to 1630 hours.

**Leia. **We can actually meet him. I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist.

_Enter Vicendi and Crowd._

**Vicendi. **Calmly, please, ladies. Don"t push. Mind the books now.

_Luke, Han, and Leia grab copies of __Mander Zuma's _A Standard Book of the Force_, and hurry away from the crowd._

_Enter the Solos and the Organas._

**Jaina. **O! There you are. Good. We'll be able to see him in a minute.

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla and Bobit Leebo, a green-skinned holographer._

**Leebo. **Make way there. Please. Let me by, madam. Thank you. Out of the way, there. This is for the HoloNet.

**Han. **Big deal.

_Farfalls glances in Han's direction and sees Luke._

**Farfalla. **It can't be Luke Skywalker?

_Farfalla dives through the crowd and pulls Luke up front with him._

_Leebo clicks away with his holocam._

Nice big smile, Luke. Together, you and I are worth the front page.

_Luke tries to break from Farfalla's grasp, but the Master clasps his hand on his shoulder._

Ladies and gentlebeings. What an extraordinary moment this is! When young Luke stepped on Obroa-skai this morning, he only wanted to buy my autobiography _Blazing Rockets_, which incidentally is currently celebrating its twenty-seventh week atop the HoloNet's bestsellers' list. He had no idea idea that he will not only be leaving with my entire collected works free of charge, but he and his fellow initiates will be receiving the real "Blazing Rockets." Yes, ladies and gentlebeings. I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Side Master at the Jedi Praxeum.

_Luke breaks free from Han and drops the books into Mara's cauldron._

**Luke. **You take these. I'll buy my own.

_Enter Galen Marek._

**Marek. **I bet you loved that, didn't you, Skywalker? Famous Luke Skywalker. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.

**Mara.** _[glares at Marek] _Leave him alone. He didn't want all that.

**Marek. **O! Look, Skywalker. You've got yourself a girlfriend.

_Mara's face turns scarlet, as Han and Leia inch their way over._

**Han. **O! It's you. I bet you're surprised to see Luke here, eh, Marek?

**Marek. **Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Solo. I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those.

_Han, red as Mara, looks ready to punch Marek._

_Enter Jonash._

**Jonash. **Han. What are you doing? It's mad in here. Let's go outside.

_Enter Dooku._

**Dooku. **Well, well, well. Jonash Solo.

**Jonash. **_[coldly] _Dooku.

**Dooku. **Busy time at the Republic, Jonash. All those extra raids? I do hope they're paying you overtime. _[picks up one of Mara's textbooks] _But judging by the state of this, I'd say not. What is the use of being a disgrace to the name of Force-users, if they don't even pay you well for it.

**Jonash. **We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of Force-users, Marek.

**Dooku. **Clearly. _[glances contemptuously at the Organas] _Associating with mundanes? And I thought your family could sink no lower.

_Jonash throws himself at Dooku, knocking him backward into a bookshelf._

**Twins. **Get him, Dad.

**Jaina. **Jonash, no. No!

**Vicendi. **Gentlebeings. Please, please.

_Enter Chewbacca._

**Chewbacca. **Break it up there, gents. Break it up.

_Chewbacca pulls Jonash and Dooku apart._

_Dooku rises to his feet._

**Dooku. **_[thrusts book at Mara] _Here, girl. Take your book. It's the best your father can give you. Come, Galen.

**Marek. **_[glares at Luke] _See you at the Temple.

_Exit Dooku and Marek._

**Chewbacca.** _[lifts Jonash to his feet] _You should have ignored him, Jonash. Rotten to the core, the whole family. Everyone knows that. No Marek is worth listening to. Bad blood, that's what it is. Come on now. Let's get out of here.

_Exit all but Luke, Chewbacca, the Solos, and the Organas._

**Jaina. **_[to Jonash] _A fine example to set for your children, brawling in public. What Valenthyne Farfalla must have thought!

**Jacen. **He was pleased. Didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that holographer if he'd be able to work the fight into his report, said it was all publicity.

_Exit all._


	10. The Ithorian Bafforr

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Jonash, in the YT-1300 freighter._

**Jonash. **Not a word to Jaina.

_Jonash shows Luke how the freighter's secret compartments in the cargo hold._

_Enter Jaina, Threepio, Jacen, Ben, Han, and Mara with the luggage, which is loaded into the cargo hold._

**Jaina. **Mundanes do know better than we give them credit for, don't they? You'd never know it was this roomy from the outside, would you?

_Jonash starts the engine and departs from The Trader's Luck._

**Ben. **Hold on. I've forgotten my Merr-Sonn rockets.

_The YT-1300 returns to The Trader's Luck._

_Ben retrieves his rockets._

_The YT-1300 veers away from the house._

**Jacen. **Wait. I've left my Y-wing.

_The YT-1300 returns to The Trader's Luck._

_Jacen retrieves his Y-wing starfighter._

_The YT-1300 almost reaches the skylane._

**Mara. **O! I don't have my journal.

_The YT-1300 returns to The Trader's Luck._

_Mara retrieves a scarlet-colored journal._

_The YT-1300 arrives in the skylane._

**Jonash. **_[indicates the flight computer] _Jaina, dear . . .

**Jaina. **No, Jonash . . .

**Jonash. **No one would see. This little button here is a cloaking field generator I installed. That'd get us up in the air. Then we fly above the clouds. We'd be there in ten minutes, and no one would be any the wiser . . .

**Jaina. **I said no, Jonash. Not in broad daylight . . .

_The YT-1300 arrives at Mos Eisley Spaceport._

_Luke and the Solos exit the freighter._

_[glances nervously at her chrono] _Threepio first.

_Exit Threepio, Jacen, Ben, and Jonash (in that order)._

_[to Luke and Han] _I'll take Mara and you two come right after us.

_Exit Jaina and Mara._

**Han. **Let's go together. We've only got a minute.

_Luke and Han follow the Solos, but for some reason crash right into the barrier and fall to the ground._

_The mundane beings around the spaceport stare at them with a mix of confusion and indignation._

**R2-D2. **_[shrieks]_

_Enter BoShek._

**BoShek. **O! What in the blazes do you think you're doing?

**Luke. **Sorry. We just lost . . . lost control of the trolley. _[aside, to Han] _Why can't we get through?

_Exit BoShek._

**Han. **I don't know. The gateway's sealed itself for some reason.

**Luke. **_[glanes at the chronometer] _The ship leaves at exactly eleven hundred hours. We've missed it.

**Han. **Luke. If we can't get through, maybe Mom and Dad can't get back. Have you got any mundane credits?

**Luke. **_[laughs] _The Larses haven't given me pocket credits for about six years.

**Han. **_[presses his ear to the barrier] _I can't hear anything. What are we going to do? I don't know how long it will take Mom and Dad to get back to us.

**Luke. **Maybe we should just go and wait by the freighter.

**Han. **The freighter!

**Luke. **What about it?

**Han. **We can fly the ship to the Jedi Temple.

**Luke. **But I thought . . .

**Han. **We're stuck, right? And we've got to get to the Temple, haven't we? And even underage sentients are allowed to use the Force if it's a real emergency.

**Luke. **But your parents - how will they get home?

**Han. **They don't need the ship. They know how to Force Travel . . . you know, just vanish and reappear at home. They only bother with hyperspace and the YT-1300, because we're underage and not allowed to Force Travel yet.

**Luke. **Do you know how to fly it?

**Han. **No problem. Come on. Let's go. If we hurry, we'll be able to follow the Jedi Cruiser.

_Luke and Han, with their luggage, return to the YT-1300._

_Luke and Han place their luggage in the cargo hold._

_Han sits in the pilot's seat, Luke in the oversized co-pilot's seat._

_[starts engine with the Force] _Check to make sure no one's watching.

**Luke. **_[glancing out the viewport] _All clear.

_Han presses the cloaking field generator and the YT-1300 vanishes from view._

**Han. **Let's go.

_The YT-1300 lifts off the ground and into the sky._

_The YT-1300 blinks back into existence._

Oh, no! The cloaking field generator must be faulty.

_Han hits the side of the ship._

_The YT-1300 vanishes again, then blinks back into existence once more._

Hold on.

_Han swerves upward, into the low woolly clouds._

**Luke. **Now what?

**Han. **We need to see the cruiser to know what direction to go in.

**Luke. **Dip back down again, quickly.

_Enter Jedi Cruiser._

There.

**Han. **Due north. _[checks the navicomputer] _Okay. We'll have to check on it every half hour or so. Hold on.

_The YT-1300 returns to the clouds._

All we have to worry about now are skycars.

_Luke and Han laugh._

_They fly through the skies, periodically dipping back down to watch for the cruiser._

**Luke. **_[aside] _The fun of this is really starting to wear off. The toffees we've consumed now leave us extremely thirsty with nothing to drink. How I long for the Jedi Cruiser, where ice-cold glasses of juri juice are served by the plump vendor. Why is it that we couldn't get to Docking Bay 94, anyway?

**Han. **It can't be much further, can it? Ready for another check on the cruiser?

_They fly out of the clouds, where they see the Jedi Cruiser, snaking through a field of mountains._

_As they accelerate, the YT-1300's engine whines._

She's probably just tired. She's never been this far before.

_The YT-1300 continues to wine, waving its windshield wipers in protest._

Not far. Not far now.

_The YT-1300 flies above the sacred temple of the Jedi Praxeum, the tall ziggurat with its five tall spires._

**Luke. **There. Straight ahead.

**Han. **Welcome home.

_The YT-1300 begins to shudder, losing speed._

Come on. Nearly there. Come on.

**YT-1300. **_[groans]_

_The ship wobbles, tumbling near the Mon Calamari sea._

**Han. **Come _on_.

**Luke. **Up! Up!

**Han. **It's not working.

_The YT-1300 splutters and the engine dies completely._

O!

_The freighter begins to fall, headed straight for the Temple walls._

No!

_Han manages to swerve away from the Temple and the greenhouses._

**Luke. **Up! Up!

**Han. **_[whacks the steering gear with his lightsaber] _Stop! Stop!

_Enter the Ithorian Bafforr, a sentient tree of immense size._

**Luke. **Han. Mind that tree.

_The YT-1300 crashes into the Baforr._

**R2-D2. **_[shrieks in terror]_

_Han's lightsaber snaps, almost in two, held on by a few splinters._

**Luke. **Are you okay?

**Han. **My lightsaber. Look at my lightsaber.

**Luke. **Be thankful it's not your neck.

_The Baforr attacks the YT-1300, its branches smashing against the old Corellian freighter._

**Han. **What's happening?

_The Baforr punches a dent into the hatchway._

_The transparisteel in the viewports was close to shattering from the stress._

Run for it.

_Luke and Han try to break out of the freighter._

We're done for.

_The YT-1300's engine restarts._

**Luke. **Reverse!

_As the Baforr continues its attacks, the YT-1300 backs out of the tree's grasp and crashes on the ground below._

**Han. **That was close. Well done, ship.

_The YT-1300 jettisons its cargo - Luke, Han, Artoo, Viceroy the womp rat, and their inanimate luggage._

**R2-D2. **_[screeches angrily]_

_Exit Artoo._

_Exit YT-1300, onto the forest moon of Endor._

**Han. **Come back. Dad's going to kill me. Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could have hit, we had to get the one that hits back.

**Luke. **Come on. We'd better get back to the Temple.

_They walk over to the Jedi Temple._

So, a Gungan shows up in my bedroom. We can't get through the barrier of Docking Bay 94. We almost get killed by a tree. Clearly, someone doesn't want me here this season.

_Luke and Han reach the doors to the Great Hall._

**Han. **I think the feast's already started. O! Luke. Come look. It's ths sorting.

_Luke sees the first years, among them Mara and Dak Ralter, trying on the Revan's Mask._

_Enter all Jedi Students and Masters but one, as Luke and Han enter the Great Hall._

**Luke. **Hang on. Where's Vader?

**Han. **Maybe he's ill.

**Luke. **Maybe he's left because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Side job again.

**Han. **Or he might have been sacked. I mean, everyone hates him. . . .

_Enter Darth Vader._

**Vader. **Or maybe he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the Jedi Cruiser.

_Luke and Han turn around._

Follow me.

_Exit all._


	11. Not Expelled Today

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Vader._

**Vader. **_[indicates his private chambers] _In.

_They enter Vader's meditation chamber, a small room with a dark metal throne._

So, the cruiser isn't good enough for famous Luke Skywalker and his faithful sidekick, Solo. Wanted to arrive with a _bang_, did we, boys?

**Luke. **No, sir. It was the barrier at Mos Eisley Spaceport; it . . .

**Vader. **Silence. What have you done with the ship?

_Han gulps._

**Luke. **_[aside] _This isn't the first time I've had the impression that Vader can read minds.

_Vader pulls out a copy of the _HoloNet News_._

**HoloNet. **Flying YT-1300 Mystifies Mundanes: Two mundane Coruscanti were convinced today that they saw a flying CEC YT-1300 light freighter, flying over the InterGalactic Communications Center. At noon on Alderaan, Mistress Celana Aldrete spotted a "flying saucer," while hanging out her washing. Master Cal Alder of Kal'Shebbol filed a report to the Corellian Security Force. Galactic authorities have estimated about six or seven in total. Investigations are still being held as to the circumstances surrounding this illegally enchanted freighter.

**Vader. **You were seen by no less than seven mundanes. Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world. Not to mention the damage you inflicted on an Ithorian Bafforr that's been on these grounds since before you were born.

**Han. **Honestly, Lord Vader. I think that tree did more damage to us.

**Vader. **Silence! I assure you that were you in Kun, and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the ship home tonight. Now, I shall go and fetch the people who _do _have that happy power. You will wait here.

_Exit Vader._

_Enter Vader and Mon Mothma._

**Mothma. **Sit.

_Luke and Han back into two chairs by the fire._

Explain.

_Luke and Han explain what happened at Docking Bay 94._

**Luke.** . . . so we had no choice, Senator. We couldn't get on the cruiser.

**Mothma. **Why didn't you send us a message via droid? I believe _you _have an astromech droid?

**Luke. **I . . . I didn't think . . .

**Mothma. **That is obvious.

_Enter Yoda._

**Yoda. **Please explain why you did this.

_Luke repeats his story to the Grand Master, leaving out the fact that Jonash owned the YT-1300._

**Han. **We'll go and get our stuff, then.

**Mothma. **What are you talking about, Master Solo.

**Han. **Well, you're going to expel us, aren't you?

**Yoda. **Not today, Master Solo. But I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done. We will be writing to your families tonight. I must also warn you that if you do anything like this again, I will have no choice but to expel you.

**Vader. **Master Yoda. These boys have flouted the Jedi Code's restriction on underage use of the Force. As such . . .

**Yoda. **I am well-aware of our by-laws, Darth, having written quite a few of them myself. But as head of Revan House, it is for Senator Mothma to decide the appropriate action. _[to Mothma] _I must return to the feast, Mon. I've got to give out a few notices. _[to Vader] _Come, Darth. There's a delicious-looking custard tart I'd like to sample. . . .

_Exit Yoda and Vader._

**Mothma. **You'd better get along to the medcenter, Solo. You're bleeding.

**Han. **Not much. Senator. I want to watch my sister's being sorted.

**Mothma. **The Sorting Ceremony is over. Your sister is in Revan.

**Han. **Oh, good.

**Mothma. **And speaking of Revan . . .

**Luke. **Senator. When we took the ship, term hadn't started, so . . . so Revan shouldn't really lose points. Should it?

_Mothma almost smiles._

**Mothma. **I will not take any points from Revan. But you will both receive detentions.

_Mothma summons food with the Force._

You will eat here and then go straight to your dormitory. I must also return to the feast.

_Exit Mothma._

**Han. **_[eats sandwich] _I thought we'd had it.

**Luke. **So did I.

**Han. **Can you believe our luck, though? Jacen and Ben must have flown that ship six or seven times and no mundane ever saw _them_. _Why _couldn't we get through the barrier?

**Luke. **We'll have to watch our step from now on, though. _[drinks juri juice] _I wish we could have gone up to the feast.

**Han. **She didn't want us showing off. Doesn't want people to think it's clever, arriving by space freighter.

_Luke and Han arrive at Revan Tower._

_Enter Kara._

**Kara. **Password?

**Luke. **Er . . .

_Enter Leia._

**Leia. **_There _you are. Where have you _been_? The most _ridiculous _rumors . . . someone said you'd been expelled for crashing a _starship_. . . .

**Luke. **Well, we haven't been expelled.

**Leia. **You're not telling me you _did _fly here?

**Han. **Skip the lecture and tell us the new password.

**Leia. **It's _wattlebird_. But that's not the point . . .

_The portrait hole slides open._

_Luke, Han, and Leia step into the Revan common room._

_Enter Revans._

**Janson. **Brilliant! Inspired! What an entrance! Flying a ship right into the Ithorian Bafforr. People will be talking about that one for years. . . .

_Enter Connor Freeman, a Revan fifth year with a dark complexion._

**Connor.** _[pats Luke on the back] _Good for you.

**Twins. **Why couldn't we have come in the ship?

_All in the room are happy, but one - Threepio begins nearing for a lecture._

_Luke points this to Han._

**Han. **Got to get upstairs, bit tired.

_Exit all but Luke and Han._

I know I shouldn't have enjoyed that, but . . .

_Enter Wedge Antilles, Lando Calrissian, and Nien Nunb._

**Nien. **_Unbelievable_!

**Lando. **Cool.

**Wedge. **_[awestruck] _Amazing.

_Exit all._


	12. The Villip

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, in the Great Hall._

_Enter Leia, reading _Voyages with Anzati_._

**Leia. **_[stiffly] _Morning.

_Enter Wedge._

**Wedge. **Mail's due any minute. I think Gran's sending a few things I forgot.

_Enter Fiver, carrying a villip from Jaina Solo._

**Han. **Fiver!

_Fiver collapses, dropping the villip._

Oh, no . . .

**Leia. **It's all right. I think he's still alive.

**Han. **_[picking up the villip] _It's not that. It's _that_.

**Luke. **What's the matter?

**Han. **She's . . . she'd sent me a villip.

**Wedge. **Go on, Han. I ignored one from my gran once. It was horrible.

**Luke. **What's a villip?

_The villip starts smoking._

**Wedge. **Go on. It will be over in a few minutes.

_The villip rises into the air. The small ball of organic matter forms into the shape of Jaina Solo's face, speaking in her voice._

**Villip. **_[as Jaina] _Han Solo! How dare you steal that ship! I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd expelled you! You wait until I get hold of you! I don't suppose you stopped to think what your father and I went through, when we saw it was gone! Letter from Yoda last night! I thought your father would die of shame! We didn't bring you up to behave like this! You and Luke could both have died! I am absolutely disgusted! Your father's facing an inquiry at work, and it's entirely your fault! If you put another toe out of line, we will bring you straight home!

_The villip bursts into flame and explodes._

**Leia. **_[closes book] _Well, I don't know what you expected, Han, but you . . .

**Han. **Don't tell me I deserved it.

_Exit all._


	13. Bota

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia, on the grounds._

_They join the Suriks and the other Revans in their year, near the greenhouses._

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla and Yaddle, diminutive female Master with green skin and tridactyl feet._

_Yaddle tends to the damaged Ithorian Bafforr, while Farfalla annoyingly tries to help._

**Farfalla. **O! Hello there. I've just been showing Master Yaddle the right way to doctor an Ithorian Bafforr. But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Living Force than she is. I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels.

**Yaddle. **Greenhouse three today, chaps.

**Farfalla.** Luke. I've been wanting a word. You don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Master Yaddle?

_Yaddle scowls._

That's the ticket.

_Exit all but Luke and Farfalla._

Luke. Luke. Luke. Luke.

_Luke frowns with confusion._

When I heard . . . well, of course, it was all my fault. I could have kicked myself.

_Luke still looks bewildered._

I don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a ship to the Temple! Well, of course, I knew why you'd done it, stood out a mile. Luke. Luke. _Luke_.

_Farfalla smiles, showing all of his brilliant white teeth._

I gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I? I gave you the _bug_. You got to be the HoloNet with me, and you couldn't wait to do it again.

**Luke. **Oh, no. Master, see . . .

**Farfalla. **Luke. I _understand_. Natural to want a bit more once you've had the first taste. And I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head. But see here, young man, you can't start _flying _starships to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? There's plenty of time for that when you're older. Yes, yes. I know what you're thinking: "It's all right for him. He's achieved galactic fame already." But when I was twelve, I was just as much a nobody as you. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody. I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't that? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. _[glances at Luke's scarred forehead] _I know, I know. It's not quite as good as _Galactic Gossip_'s Most Charming Smile Award five times in a row, as I have. But it's a start, Luke. It's a _start_. _[winks]_

_Exit Farfalla._

_Luke returns to greenhouse three._

_Enter Yaddle, Han, Leia, and the other Revan and Surik second years._

**Yaddle. **Morning, everyone. Good morning, everyone.

**All. **Good morning, Master Yaddle.

**Yaddle.** Welcome to greenhouse three, second years. Now gather around, everyone. Today, we are going to repot bota. Now, who here can tell me the properties of the bota root?

_Leia raises her hand._

Yes, Miss Organa.

**Leia. **The bota plant of Drongar is used to return those who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state.

**Yaddle. **Excellent. Ten points to Revan. The bota forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also quite dangerous. Can anyone tell me why?

**Leia. **The bota's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.

**Yaddle. **Precisely. Take another ten points. Now, as our bota are still only seedlings, their cries won't kill you yet. However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, I have given each of you a pair of earmuffs for auditory protection. Flaps tight down, and watch me closely.

_Yaddle removes a bota plant from the pot._

**Bota. **_[screams shrilly]_

_[repots the bota] _You grasp your bota firmly, and you pull it sharply out of the pot. And now, you dunk it into the other pot and pour a little sprinkling of soil to keep it warm. Right. On we go. Plenty of pots to go around. Grasp your bota and pull it out. I will attract your attention when it's time to pack up. Four to a tray. There is a large supply of pots here. Composts in the sacks over there. And be careful of the M'iiyoom Nightlily; it's teething.

_Luke, Han, and Leia work on the bota._

_Enter Ooryl Qrygg, a lungless insectoid with big eyes._

**Ooryl. **Ooryl Qrygg, Surik.

**Luke. **Nice to meet you. I'm . . .

**Ooryl. **Ooryl knows who you are, of course. They all do, even the mundane-borns. And you're Leia Organa, always top in everything, and Han Solo. Wasn't that your freighter? That Farfalla sure is something, isn't it? Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? Ooryl would have died of fear if he'd been cornered in a comm station with a Mandalorian, but Farfalla stayed cool and - _zap _- just _fantastic_. Ooryl's name was down for Coronet, you know. Ooryl can't tell you how glad he is he came here instead. Of course, Mother was slightly disappointed, but since Ooryl made her read Farfalla's books, Ooryl thinks she's begun to come to see how useful it'll be to have one fully trained in the Force in the family. . . .

_Exit all._


	14. Valenthyne Farfalla

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Threepio and Tece Fortine, a sixth year prefect in silver._

_Enter Canderous Ordo, the Force spirit of a long-dead warrior._

**Tece. **O! There's Canderous Ordo.

**Threepio. **Hello, Lord Canderous.

**Canderous. **Hello, Threepio, Miss Fortine.

_Exit Threepio, Tece, and Canderous._

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia, in the Great Hall._

_Han tapes his lightsaber with Spacetape, to no avail._

**Han. **Say it. I'm doomed.

**Luke. **You're doomed. Write home for another one.

**Han. **Oh, yeah. And get another villip back. "It's your own fault your lightsaber got snapped. . . . "

**Luke. **_[to Leia] _What have we got this afternoon?

**Leia. **Defense Against the Dark Side.

**Han. **_[glances at Leia's schedule] Why _have you outlined all Farfalla's lessons in little hearts?

_Leia snatches back the schedule and buries her nose in _Voyages with Anzati_._

_Enter Dak Ralter, a small boy with brown hair and green eyes, with a holocam._

**Dak. **All right, Luke? I'm Dak Ralter. I'm in Revan, too.

**Luke. **Hello, Dak. Nice to meet you.

**Dak. **_[snaps a holograph] _They're for my dad, the holographs. He's a minor politician, you know - mundane, like all the family was until me. No one knew all the odd stuff I could do was the Force. Everyone just thought I was mental.

**Han. **Imagine that.

**Dak. **Say, Luke. Do you think I could take a holograph . . . you know, to prove I've met you. I know all about you. Everyone has told me, about how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything, and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead. And a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the holofilm in the right potion, the holographs will _move_. And it'd be really good if I had one of you - maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then could you sign it?

_Enter Galen Marek, Cornelius Evazan, and Ponda Baba._

**Marek. **_Signed holos_? You're giving out _signed _holos, Skywalker? _[to all] _Everyone. Line up. Luke Skywalker's giving out signed holos.

**Luke. **_[angrily] _No. I'm not. Shut up, Marek.

**Dak. **You're just jealous.

**Marek. **_Jealous_? Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head. Thanks. I don't getting your head cut open makes you that special myself.

_Evazan and Baba laugh._

**Han. **Eat slugs, Marek.

**Marek. **Be careful, Solo. You don't want to start any trouble, or your mommy will have to come and take you away from the Temple. _[mocks Jaina] _"If you put another toe out of line . . . "

_All Kuns laugh._

Solo would like a signed holo, Skywalker. It would be worth more than his family's whole house. . . .

_Han removes his lightsaber._

_Enter Farfalla._

**Leia. **Look out.

**Farfalla. **What's all this? What's all this? Who's giving out signed holos?

_Luke begins to speak._

I shouldn't have asked. We meet again, Luke.

_Farfalla wraps his arm around Luke, pinning him to his side._

Go on, Master Ralter. A double portrait. You can't do better than that. And we'll _both _sign it for you.

_Dak snaps the holograph._

_The bell rings._

_[to all] _Off you go. Move along there.

_Exit all but Luke and Farfalla._

A word to the wise, Luke. I covered up for you back there with Master Ralter. If he was holographing me, too, your fellow initiates won't think you're setting yourself up so much. . . .

**Luke. **_[stammers]_

**Farfalla. **Let me just say that handing out signed holos at this stage of your career isn't sensible. Looks a tad bigheaded, Luke, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you'll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but _[laughs] _I don't think you're quite there yet.

_Luke and Farfalla enter the latter's classroom._

_Enter Second Years._

_Luke joins Han and Leia, blocking his view with a stack of books._

**Han. **You could have fried an egg on your face. You'd better hope Ralter doesn't meet Mara, or they'll be starting a Luke Skywalker fan club.

**Luke. **Shut up.

_Farfalla picks up Wedge's copy of _Travels with Wampas_._

**Farfalla. **_[indicates holograph] _Me. Valenthyne Farfalla, Order of Revan, Third Class, honorary member of the Army of Light, and five times winner of _Galactic Gossip_'s Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Umbaran Banshee by smiling at her.

_Farfalla grins at his own joke._

I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in. . . .

_Farfalla hands out test papers._

You have thirty minutes . . . start . . . _now_!

**Han. **_[glancing at the quiz] _Look at these questions. They're all about him.

**Luke. **"What is Valenthyne Farfalla's favorite color?"

**Han. **"What is Valenthyne Farfalla's greatest achievement to date?"

**Luke. **"When is Valenthyne Farfalla's naming day, and what would his ideal gift be?"

_The second years answer the fifty-four questions._

_The timer beeps._

_Farfalla files through the tests._

Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in _Year with a Talz_. And a few of you need to read _Wanderings with Mandalorians _more closely. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal naming day gift would be harmony between all Force-using and mundane beings - though I wouldn't say no to Whyren's Reserve Corellian Whiskey. _[winks]_

_Han shakes his head._

_Lando Calrissian and Nien Nunb laugh silently._

But Miss Leia Organa knew that my secret ambition is to rid the galaxy of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl. Take ten points for Revan.

_Farfalla's expression suddenly darkens, and he leaps to his feet._

Now, be warned. It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to the galaxy. You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream; it might provoke them.

_Enter Vagaari, a species mean-spirited dwarves._

**Nien. **_[laughs] _Vagaari?

**Farfalla. **Freshly caught Vagaari.

**Nien. **_[snorts with laughter] _Well, they're not . . . they're not very . . . _dangerous_, are they?

**Farfalla. **Don't be so sure, Master Nunb. Vagaari can be devilish tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them.

_Farfalla releases the Vagaari._

_The Vagaari shoot in every direction, causing devastation in their wake._

_Two Vagaari seize Wedge by his ears and hang him on the chandelier._

**Wedge. **O! Get me down.

_The Vagaari shred several durasheets, flimsiplasts, and holobooks._

**Farfalla. **Come on now. Round them up; round them up. They're only Vagaari.

_A Vagaari ambushes Leia._

**Leia. **Get off me.

**Luke. **Stop! Stop! Hold still!

_Luke hits the Vagaari with a textbook._

**Farfalla. **_[brandishes his lightsaber] _Pesky Vagaari. Pester not me.

_Nothing happens._

_A Vagaari grabs Farfalla's lightsaber and throws it out the viewport. _

_Farfalla gulps and dives under his desk._

_The chandelier falls, knocking Wedge down with it._

_Exit all but Luke, Han, Leia, and Farfalla._

I'd ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage.

_Exit Farfalla._

**Han. **What do we do now?

**Leia. **Freeze.

_Using the Force, Leia lowers the air temperature around the Vagaari, freezing all of them._

**Han. **_[gathering the Vagaari] _Can you _believe_ him?

**Leia. **He just wants to give us some hands-on experience.

**Luke. **_Hands on_? Leia. He didn't have a clue what he was doing. . . .

**Leia. **Rubbish. You've read his books. Look at all those amazing things he's done.

**Han. **He _says _he's done.

_Exit all._


	15. A Kun Invasion

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, asleep._

_Enter Tycho Celchu, waking him up._

**Luke. **_[groggily] _What's the matter?

**Tycho. **Smashball practice. Come on.

**Luke. **Tycho. It's the crack of dawn.

**Tycho. **Exactly. It's part of our new training program. Come on. Grab your X-wing, and let's go. None of the other teams have started training yet. We're going to be the first off the mark this season.

_Yawning, Luke reluctantly climbs out of bed._

Good man. Meet you on the field in fifteen minutes.

_Exit Tycho._

_Luke dresses in his Smashball uniform and leaves Han a holomessage._

_Luke retrieves his X-wing and runs down the spiral staircase._

_Enter Dak._

**Dak. **I heard someone saying your name on the stairs, Luke. Look at what I've got here. I've had it developed. I wanted to show you. . . .

_Dak shows Luke a holograph of Luke and Farfalla, the former trying to back out of the frame._

Will you sign it?

**Luke. **No. Sorry, Dak. I'm in a hurry. Smashball practice . . .

**Dak. **O! Wow! Wait for me. I've never seen a Smashball game before.

_Dak scrambles after him, following him out of the portrait hole._

**Luke. **It will be really boring.

_Dak continues to follow Luke, unfazed._

**Dak. **You were the youngest House player in a century, weren't you, Luke? You must be brilliant. I've never flown. Is it easy? Is that your own ship? Is that the best one there is?

**Luke. **_[aside] _How do I get rid of him? It's like having a very talkative shadow.

**Dak. **I don't really understand Smashball. Is it true there are four balls? And two of them fly around trying to knock people out of their ships?

**Luke. **Yes. They're called Dovin Basals. There are two beaters on each team who carry clubs to beat the Dovin Basals away from their side. Jacen and Ben Solo are the Revan beaters.

**Dak. **And what are the other balls for?

**Luke. **Well, the Grav-ball - that's the biggish red one - is the one that scores the goals. Three chasers on each team throw the Grav-ball to each other and try and get it through the goal posts at the end of the pitch. They're three long poles with hoops at the end.

**Dak. **And the fourth ball . . .

**Luke. **. . . is the Golden Globe. It's very small, very fast, and difficult to catch. But that's what the seeker has got to do, because a game of Smashball doesn't end until the Globe had been caught. Whichever team's seeker gets the Globe earns his team an extra one hundred fifty points.

**Dak. **And _you're _the Revan seeker, aren't you?

**Luke. **Yes. And there's the keeper, too. He guards the goal posts. That's it, really.

_Luke and Dak step onto the grounds and reach the changing rooms._

**Dak. **I'll go and get a good seat, Luke.

_Exit Dak._

_Enter Tycho, Jacen, Ben, Tenel Ka Djo, Lowbacca, and Tahiri Veila._

**Tycho. **There you are, Luke. What kept you? Now, I wanted a quick talk with you all before we actually get onto the field, because I spent the summer devising a whole new training program. We're going to train earlier, harder, and longer.

_Tycho holds up a diagram of the Smashball field and begins talking about his new "training program."_

_Jacen falls asleep, his head drooping over Lowbacca's shoulder._

_Luke falls into a stupor, only coming out of it hours later, after Tycho has finished._

So. Is that clear? Any questions?

**Ben. **Yeah. Why couldn't you have told us this yesterday when we were awake?

**Tycho. **_[glowers] _Now, listen here, you lot. We should have won the Smashball Cup last season. We're easily the best team. But unfortunately, owing to circumstances beyond our control . . .

_Tycho glances at Luke, as if last season's defeat is still hurting him._

So this season, we train harder than ever before. Okay. Let's go and put our new theories to practice.

_The Revan team walks out onto the field._

_Enter Han and Leia._

**Han. **Aren't you finished yet?

**Luke. **We haven't even started. Tycho's been teaching us new moves.

_The seven Revans take off into the air._

_Enter Dak, clicking away with his holocam._

**Jacen. **What's that funny clicking noise?

**Dak. **Look this way, Luke. This way!

**Jacen. **Who's that?

**Luke. **No idea.

**Tycho. **What's going on? Why is that first year taking holographs? I don't like it. He could be a Kun spy, trying to find out about our new training program.

**Luke. **He's Revan.

**Ben. **And the Kuns don't need a spy, Tycho.

**Tycho. **What makes you say that?

**Ben. **Because they're here in person.

_Enter Moradmin Bast, Reck Desh, Cad Bane, Sora Bulq, Mosh Barris, Bruck Chun, and Galen Marek._

**Tycho. **What the . . . O! I don't believe it.

_The Revans land and approach the Kuns._

**Han. **Uh-oh. I smell trouble.

_Han and Leia join the Revans._

**Tycho. **Where do you think you're going, Bast?

**Bast. **Smashball practice.

**Tycho. **I booked the pitch for Revan today.

**Bast. **Easy, Celchu. I've got a note.

_Bast hands Tycho a hololetter from Darth Vader._

**Tycho. **_[reading] _"I, Lord Darth Vader, do hereby give the Kuns permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new seeker." _[to Bast] _You've got a new seeker. Who?

_Marek steps out into the foreground._

**Luke. **Marek?

**Marek. **That's right. And that's not all that's new this season.

_The Kuns show off their new ships._

**Han. **Those are XJ-series X-wings, just come out this month. How did you get those?

**Bast. **A gift from Galen's father. I believe it outstrips the old T-65 series by a considerable amount. As for the old Y-wings . . . _[glances at the Solo twins with contempt] _. . . sweeps them off the board.

**Marek. **You see, Solo, unlike _some_, my father can afford the best. But perhaps the Revan team will be able to raise some credits and get new ships, too. You could raffle those Y-wings; I expect a museum will bid for them.

**Leia. **At least no one on the Revan team had to _buy _their way in. They got in on pure talent.

**Marek. **No one asked for your opinion, you filthy little infidel.

_Bast dives in front of Marek to prevent the Solo twins from attacking._

**Lowbacca. **How dare you!

**Han. **_[removes his lightsaber] _You'll pay for that one, Marek.

_Han's use of the Force backfires on him and he is shot backward._

**Leia. **Han. Are you okay? Say something!

_Han disembowels several slimy slugs._

**Luke. **Let's get him to Chewie's. It's nearest.

_Dak runs over._

**Dak. **Wow! Can you turn him around, Luke?

**Luke. **No, Dak. Get out of the way.

_Exit all._


	16. Infidels and Murmurs

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia, near Chewbacca's wroshyr treehiuse._

**Leia. **Nearly there, Han. You'll be all right in a minute. Almost there.

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla, exiting Chewbacca's hut._

_Luke, Han, and Leia dive behind a nearby bush._

**Farfalla. **_[to Chewbacca] _It's a simple matter if you know what you're doing. If you need help, you know where I am. I'll let you have a copy of my book. I'm surprised you haven't already got one. I'll sign one tonight and send it over. Well, good-bye!

_Exit Farfalla._

_Luke, Han, and Leia knock on Chewbacca's door._

_Enter Chewbacca._

**Chewbacca. **I've been wondering when you would come to see me. Come in, come in. I thought you might have been Master Farfalla back again.

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter Chewbacca's hut._

_Chewbacca seems unbothered by Han's problem. _

I've got just the thing. Set him down on that chair over there.

_Luke lowers Han into a cahir._

_[places a bucket in front of Han] _Better out than in. Get them all up, Han.

**Leia. **I don't think there's anything to do except wait for it to stop. That's a difficult curse to work at the best of times. But with a broken 'saber . . .

**Luke. **What did Farfalla want with you, Chewie?

**Chewbacca. **Giving me advice on getting nos monsters out of a well. As if I don't know how. And banging on about some banshee he banished. If one word of it is true, I'll eat my kettle.

**Leia. **I think you're being a bit unfair. Master Yoda obviously thought he was the best man for the job . . .

**Chewbacca. **He was the _only _man for the job. And I mean the _only _one. It's getting very difficult to find anyone for the Dark Side job. People aren't too keen to take it on, see. They're starting to think it's jinxed. No one has lasted long for a while now. So, tell me. Who was Han trying to curse, anyway?

**Luke. **Marek. He called Leia . . . well, I don't really know what it means.

**Han. **It was bad. Marek called her "infidel," Chewie.

**Chewbacca. **He did not.

**Leia. **He did. But I don't know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course. . . .

**Han. **It's about the most insulting thing he could think of. Infidel is a really foul name for someone who is mundane-born, someone with non-Force-sensitive parents. There are some Force-users, like the Marek clan, who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call Pureblood.

_Han disembowels more slugs._

I mean, the rest of us know it doesn't make any difference at all. Look at Wedge Antilles - he's a Pureblood and he can hardly stand a cauldron the right way up.

**Chewbacca. **And they haven't invented a spell our Leia can't do.

**Han. **It's disgusting thing to call someone. Dirty blood, see. Common blood. It's ridiculous. Most Force-users these days are near-human, anyway. If we hadn't married mundanes, we'd have died out.

_Han belches out more slugs._

**Chewbacca. **Well, I don't blame you for trying to curse him, Han. But it's better your lightsaber backfired. I expect Dooku Marek would have come marching into the Temple had you cursed his son. At least you're not in trouble.

_Han belches out more slugs._

_[to Luke] _Luke. I've got a bone to pick with you. I've heard you've been given out signed holographs. How come I haven't got one?

**Luke. **I have _not _been giving out signed holos. If Farfalla's still spreading that around . . .

**Chewbacca. **_[laughing] _I'm only joking. I knew you hadn't really. I told Farfalla you didn't need to. You're more famous than him without trying.

**Luke. **I bet he didn't like that.

**Chewbacca. **I don't think he did. And then I told him I'd never read any of his books, and he decided to go.

_Luke and Leia finish their fudge and tea._

Come, and see what I've been growing.

_Chewbacca shows Luke, Han, and Leia the giant pumkins growing outside his hut._

Getting on well, aren't they? For the Halloween feast. They should be big enough by then.

**Luke. **What have you been feeding them?

**Chewbacca. **_[glances around nervously] _Well, I've been giving them . . . you know . . . a bit of help . . .

_Chewbacca glances nervously at his bowcaster._

**Leia. **Force Enlargement, perhaps? Well, you've done a good job on them.

**Chewbacca. **_[to Han] _That's what your little sister said. I met her just yesterday. _[glances at Luke] _She said she was just looking around the grounds, but I reckon she was hoping she might run into someone else at my house. If you ask me, she wouldn't say no to a signed . . .

**Luke. **O! Shut up.

_Han laughs, spraying the ground with slugs._

**Chewbacca. **_[pulls Han away from the pumpkins] _Watch it!

_Exit Chewbacca._

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter the Main Entrance._

_Enter Mon Mothma._

**Mothma. **There you are, Skywalker, Solo. You will both do your detentions this evening.

**Han. **What are we doing, Senator?

**Mothma. **_You _will be polishing the silver in the Room of a Thousand Fountains with Master Jurokk. And without the Force, Solo.

_Han gulps._

As for you, Skywalker, you will be helping Master Farfalla answer his fan mail.

**Luke. **O! Can't I go and do the Room of a Thousand Fountains, too?

**Mothma. **Certainly not. Master Farfalla requested you particularly. Twenty hundred hours, both of you.

_Exit Mothma._

**Han. **Jurokk will keep me there all night. Without the Force! There must be about one hundred trophies in the Room. I'm no good at mundane cleaning.

**Luke. **I'd gladly trade with you. I've had loads of practice with the Larses. Answering Farfalla's fan mail . . . he'll be a nightmare.

_Exit all but Luke._

_Luke enters Farfalla's private quarters, covered with holographs of the Master himself._

_Enter Farfalla._

**Farfalla. **O! Here's the scalawag. Come in, Luke. Come in . . .

_Luke sits at Farfalla's desk._

You can address the envelopes. The first one is to Raskta Lsu. Bless her. Huge fan of me.

_Luke and Farfalla begin working through the fan mail._

_Luke phases out, as Farfalla speaks._

Luke. Luke. Luke. Can you possibly think of better way to serve detention than by helping me answer my fan mail?

**Luke. **_[halfhearted] _Not really.

**Farfalla. **Fame is a fickle friend, Luke. Celebrity is what celebrity does. Remember that, Luke.

**Luke. **Hmm. Right. Yeah. _[aside] _It must be nearly time to leave. Please let it be nearly time. . . .

_Enter the Dragonsnake of Exar Kun, unseen._

**Dragonsnake. **Come. Come to me. Let me rip you. Let me tear you. Let me kill you. _Kill. Kill._

**Luke. **What?

**Farfalla. **I know! Six solid months on the HoloNet's bestseller list! Broke all records!

**Luke. **No. That voice.

**Farfalla. **Voice? What voice?

**Luke. **That voice. Didn't you hear it?

**Farfalla. **What are you talking about, Luke? I think you're feeling a bit drowsy. Great Scott! No wonder. We've been here nearly four hours. Spooky how the time fliess when one is having fun.

**Luke. **Spooky.

_Exit Farfalla._

_Luke returns to Revan Tower._

_Luke runs up to the boys' dormitory._

_Enter Han._

**Han. **My muscles have all seized up. Fourteen times he made me buff up that Smashball Cup before he was satisfied. And then I had another slug attack all over a Corellian Bloodstripe. Took ages to get the slime off. How was it with Farfalla?

_Luke tells Han about the mysterious voice of the Dragonsnake._

_[frowning] _And Farfalla said he couldn't hear it? Do you think he was lying? But I don't get it. Even someone invisible would have had to open the door.

**Luke. **I know. I don't get it either.

_Exit all._


	17. Jurokk's Secret

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, muddy and exhausted from another long Smashball practice._

_Enter Canderous Ordo._

**Canderous. **. . . don't fulfill their requirements . . . half an inch, if that . . .

**Luke. **Hello, Canderous.

**Canderous. **Hello, hello. You look troubled, young Skywalker.

**Luke. **So do you.

**Canderous. **Ah, a matter of no importance. It's not as though I really wanted to join, thought I'd apply. But apparently I don't "fulfill requirements." But you would think, wouldn't you, that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a vibro-ax would qualify you to join the Kiffar Army.

**Luke. **Oh, yes.

**Canderous. **I mean, nobody wishes more than I that it had all been quick and clean, and my head had come off properly. I mean, it would have saved me a great deal of pain and ridicule. However . . .

_Canderous brings out a hololetter._

_Enter General Zac'ryah Vos, a holographic imitation of the ghost of a dark-skinned warrior with hooded eyes._

**Vos. **We can only accept Kiffar whose heads have parted company with their bodies. You will appreciate that it would be impossible otherwise for members to take part in army activities such as Equineback Head-Juggling and Head Polo. It is with the greatest regret, therefore, that I must inform you that you do not fulfill our requirements. With very best wishes, General Zac'ryah Vos.

_Exit General Vos._

**Canderous. **Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on, Luke! Most beings would think that's good and beheaded, but oh, no, it's not enough for General Zac'ryah Vos. _[takes a few deep breaths] _So, what's bothering you? How can I help you?

**Luke. **You can't. Not unless you know where we can get seven free XJ X-wings for our match against Kun . . .

_Enter 4-A7._

**Canderous. **You'd better get out of here, Luke. Jurokk isn't in a good mood. He's got the flu and some third years accidentally splattered gorg brains all over the ceiling in dungeon five. He's been cleaning all morning, and if he sees you dripping mud all over the place . . .

**Luke. **Right.

_Luke backs away._

_Enter Jurokk._

**Jurokk. **Filth! Mess and muck everywhere! I've had enough of it, I tell you. Follow me, Skywalker.

_Exit Canderous._

_Luke follows Jurokk and 4-A7 into his quarters._

_Jurokk rummages through piles of durasheet._

Dung . . . great sizzling dragon boogers . . . gorg brains . . . womp rat intestines . . . I've had enough of it, make an example. Where is that form? Yes.

_Jurokk pulls out a piece of durasheet, and begins filling out the form with a pen._

Name: Luke Skywalker. Crime . . .

**Luke. **It was only a bit of mud.

**Jurokk. **It was only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me it's an extra hour scrubbing. Crime: befouling the Temple. Suggested sentence . . .

_A loud _BANG _interrupts Jurokk's words._

PROXY! I'll have you this time. I'll have you!

_Exit Jurokk and 4-A7._

_Luke sees a piece of durasheet; he picks it up._

**Luke. **_[reading] _Aing-Tii: A Correspondence Course on the Force for Beginners

_Intrigued, Luke opens the course durasheet._

Feel out of step in a galaxy of the Force? Find yourself making excuses not to use the Force? Ever been taunted by your weak use of the Force? Here is your answer! Aing-Tii is an all-knew, full-safe, quick-result, easy-learn course. Hundreds of Force-users have benefited from the Aing-Tii method.

_Holograms of different Force-users appear before Luke._

_Enter Haninum Tyk Rhinann, an orange-skinned man with red eyes._

**Rhinann. **I had no memory for incantations, and my potions were a family joke. Now, after the Aing-Tii, I am the center of attention at parties and friends beg for the recipe of my Shockstun Mist.

_Exit Rhinann._

_Enter Dean Jinzler, an older man with silver hair._

**Jinzler. **My wife used to sneer at my feeble charms. But one month with the fabulous Aing-Tii, and I succeeded in turning her into a nerf. Thank you, Aing-Tii.

_Exit Jinzler._

_Luke thumbs through the pamphlet._

**Luke.** _[aside] _Why on Tatooine does Jurokk want the Aing-Tii? Does this mean he's not a proper Force-user?

_Enter Jurokk and 4-A7._

_Luke throws the Aing-Tii pamphlet back on Jurokk's desk._

**Jurokk. **_[to 4-A7] _That Rakata Transporter was extremely valuable. We'll have PROXY out this time, my sweet. . . .

_Jurokk's eyes zero in on the Aing-Tii pamphlet._

Have you . . . did you read . . . ?

**Luke. **No.

**Jurokk. **If I thought you'd read my private - not that it's mine - for a friend . . . Be that as it may, however . . .

_Jurokk's face twitches with madness._

Very well. Go. And don't breathe a word - not that . . . However, if you didn't read . . . Go now. I have to write up PROXY's report. Go.

_Exit Jurokk and 4-A7._

_Enter Canderous._

**Canderous. **Luke. Luke. Did it work? I persuaded PROXY to crash it right over Jurokk's office. I thought it might distract him. . . .

**Luke. **Was that you? Yeah. It worked. I didn't even get detention. Thanks, Canderous.

_Luke and Canderous set off away from Jurokk's quarters._

I wish there was something I could do for you about the Kiffar Army.

_Canderous stops, and Luke walks right through him._

**Canderous. **But there _is _something you could do for me. Luke. Would it be asking too much . . . But no. You wouldn't want . . .

**Luke. **What is it?

**Canderous. **Well, this Halloween will be my five hundredth deathday.

**Luke. **O! Right.

**Canderous. **I'm holding a ceremony down in one of the roomier dungeons. Friends will be coming from all over the country. It would be such an _honor_ if you would attend. Master Solo and Miss Organa would be most welcome, too, of course. But I daresay you'd rather go to the Temple feast?

**Luke. **No. I'll come . . .

**Canderous. **My dear boy! Luke Skywalker, at my dying ceremony! And do you think you could _possibly _mention to General Vos how _very _frightening and impressive you find me?

**Luke. **Of . . . of course.

_Exit Canderous, beaming._

_Enter Han and Leia._

**Leia. **A dying ceremony? I bet there aren't many living beings who can claim they've been to one of those. It will be fascinating.

**Han. **Why would anyone want to celebrate the day they died? It sounds dead depressing to me. . . .

_Enter Jacen and Ben, feeding firecrackers to a woolamander, "rescued" from an Animal Friendship class._

_The woolamander's exploding drives Jurokk's Aing-Tii pamphlet out of Luke's mind._

_Exit all._


	18. The Writing on the Wall

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside] _I regret my rash promise to go to the dying ceremony. The rest of the Temple is happily anticipating the Halloween feast; the Great Hall has been decorated with the usual live bats, Chewie's vast pumpkins have been carved into lanterns large enough for three humans to sit in, and there are rumors that Yoda has booked a troupe of dancing skeletons for the entertainment.

_Enter Han and Leia._

**Leia. **A promise is a promise. You _said _you'd go to the dying ceremony.

_As the chrono strikes nineteen hundred, Luke, Han, and Leia head down for the dungeons._

_Force spirits surround the place, including ghosts of musicians playing Gammorean rock._

**Han. **Is that supposed to be _music_?

_Enter Canderous._

**Canderous. **My dear friends. Welcome. I'm so pleased to see you.

_He bows them inside._

**Luke. **Shall we look around?

**Han. **Careful not to walk through anyone.

_Enter the ghost of Mission Vao, speaking to the ghost of Jodo Kast, an armored warrior._

_Enter Jace Malcom, the ghost of powerfully-built warrior, who is given a wide berth by the others._

**Leia. **Oh, no. Turn back. Turn back. I don't want to talk to Lorana Jinzler.

**Luke. **Who?

**Leia. **She haunts one of the toilets in the females' refresher on the first floor.

**Han. **She haunts a _toilet_?

**Leia. **Yes. It's been out-of-order all season because she keeps having tantrums and flooding the place. I never went in there anyway, if I could avoid it. It's awful trying to urinate with her wailing at you. . . .

**Han. **Look. Food.

_Unfortunately, the food is inedible by living beings - rotting fish and a cake burning charcoal black. It reads: "_LORD CANDEROUS ORDO, MANDALORE THE PRESERVER: DIED 31 OCTOBER, 1492._"_

_Enter Visas Marr, the ghost of a cloaked woman with dark hair._

_Marr passes through the food._

**Luke. **Can you taste it if you walk through it?

**Marr. **_[sadly] _Almost.

_Exit Marr._

**Leia. **I expect they've let it rot to give it a stronger flavor.

**Han. **Can we move? I feel sick.

_Enter PROXY._

**Luke. **Hello, PROXY.

**PROXY. **_[to Leia] _I heard your talking about poor Lorana, _rude _you was to poor Lorana. _[to Lorana] _O! Lorana!

**Leia. **Oh, no, PROXY. Don't tell her what I said. She'll be really upset. I didn't mean it. I don't mind her. . . .

_Enter Lorana Jinzler, the ghost of a teenage girl with dark hair and gray eyes._

Er, hello, Lorana.

**Lorana. **What?

**Leia. **How are you, Lorana? It's nice to see you out of the refresher.

**PROXY. **Miss Organa was just talking about you . . .

**Leia. **Just saying . . . saying how nice you look tonight.

**Lorana. **_[eyes Leia suspiciously] _You're making fun of me.

**Leia. **No, honestly. _[to Luke and Han] _Didn't I just say how nice Lorana's looking?

**Luke. **Oh, yeah . . .

**Han. **She did . . .

**Lorana. **Don't lie to me. Do you think I don't know what people call me behind my back? Fat Lorana! Ugly Lorana! Miserable, moping, moaning Lorana Jinzler.

**PROXY. **You've forgotten pimply.

_Exit Lorana, sobbing._

_Exit PROXY, taunting Lorana._

**Leia. **_[sadly] _Oh, dear.

_Enter Canderous._

**Canderous. **Enjoying yourself?

**All. **Oh, yes.

**Canderous. **Not a bad turnout. The Jedi Exile came all the way from Dantooine. It's nearly time for my speech. I'd better go and warn the orchestra.

_A hunting horn sounds._

Here we go.

_Enter Zac'ryah Vos, leading several spirits on equineback._

**Vos. **Canderous. How are you, old boy? Head still hanging on there?

**Canderous. **_[stiffly] _Welcome, Zac'ryah.

**Vos. **_[notices Luke, Han, and Leia] _Live 'uns!

_Vos leaps back and his head tumbles off, leading to a round of applause and laughter from the crowd._

**Canderous. **Very amusing.

**Vos. **Don't mind Canderous. He's still upset we won't let him join the Army. But I mean to say, look at the fellow . . .

**Luke. **I think Canderous is very . . . frightening and . . . er . . .

**Vos. **O! I bet he asked you to say that.

**Canderous. **_[to all] _If I could have everyone's attention, it's time for my speech. My late lamented lords, ladies, and gentlebeings. It is my great sorrow . . .

_Vos and his allies begin playing Head Hockey, distracting the crowd from Canderous._

**Han. **I can't stand much more of this.

**Luke. **Let's go.

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Han. **Dessert might not be finished yet.

_Enter the Dragonsnake of Exar Kun, unseen by anyone but heard by Luke._

**Dragonsnake. **Rip. Tear. Kill. Kill.

_Luke stumbles down the passageway, following the voice._

**Leia. **Luke.

**Luke. **Did you hear it? It's that voice again. I heard it first in Farfalla's quarters, and then again just . . .

**Dragonsnake. **So hungry for so long. Kill. Time to kill.

**Luke. **It's moving. I think it's going to kill.

_Luke runs down the passageway._

**Han. **Kill?

**Leia. **Luke. Wait. Not so fast!

_Han and Leia struggle to catch up to Luke._

**Dragonsnake. **I smell blood. I smell blood!

_Luke does not stop until they reach a deserted passageway, one covered in water._

**Han. **Luke. What was _that _all about?

**Leia. **_[gasps] _Look.

_Luke, Han, and Leia see words on the wall, written in red paint._

_[reading] _The Dark Temple has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware.

**Han. **What's that hanging underneath?

_Enter 4-A7, petrified._

**Luke. **It's Jurokk's nexu. It's 4-A7.

**Han. **Let's get out of here.

**Luke. **Shouldn't we try and help?

**Han. **Trust me. We don't want to be found here.

_Enter all Jedi students and Masters._

**Marek. **"Enemies of the Heir, beware?" You'll be next, infidels.

_Enter Jurokk._

**Jurokk. **What's going on here? Go on. Make way, make way. _[sees Luke] _Skywalker. What are you . . . ? _[sees 4-A7] _4-A7? _[glanes at Luke with rage] _You . . . you've murdered my nexu. I'll kill you. I kill you!

_Enter Yoda, Mon Mothma, Darth Vader, Valenthyne Farfalla, and Yaddle, stepping in front of the others._

**Yoda. **Jurokk. Jurokk, I . . . _[sees 4-A7] _Everyone will proceed to their dormitories immediately. Everyone except you three.

_Yoda indicates Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Exit all but Luke, Han, Leia, Jurokk, and the Masters._

_[detaches 4-A7 from the bracket] _Come with me, Jurokk. You, too, Master Skywalker, Master Solo, Miss Organa.

**Farfalla. **My quarters are nearer, Grand Master. Just upstairs. Please feel free . . .

**Yoda. **Thank you, Valenthyne.

_Luke, Han, Leia, Jurokk, Farfalla, Vader, Mothma, and Yaddle follow Yoda into Farfalla's quarters with 4-A7._

**Farfalla. **It was definitely a curse that killed her, probably the Force Maelstrom. Encountered it myself once on Onderon. The full story's in my autobiography. . . .

**Yoda. **She's not dead, Jurokk. But she has been _Morichro_-ed.

**Farfalla. **O! I thought so. So unlucky I wasn't there. I know the perfect countercurse that would have spared her.

**Yoda. **But she has been _Morichro_-ed I could not say.

**Jurokk. **_[points at Luke] _Ask him. It's he who's done it. You saw what he wrote on the wall. Besides, he knows I'm . . . I'm a Fallanassi.

**Luke. **It's not true, sir. I swear I never touched 4-A7. I don't even know what a Fallanassi is.

**Jurokk. **Rubbish. He saw my Aing-Tii pamphlet.

**Vader. **If I might, Grand Master . . .

_Everyone turns to face Vader._

Perhaps Skywalker and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. _[sneers] _But the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Skywalker at dinner.

**Luke. **_[explains the dying ceremony] _There were hundreds of ghosts. They'll tell you where we were.

**Vader. **But why not join the feast afterward? Why go up to that corridor?

**Luke. **Because . . . because . . . because we were tired and wanted to go to bed.

**Vader. **Without supper? I didn't think ghosts provided food fit for living beings at their parties.

**Han. **We weren't hungry.

_Vader smiles nastily._

**Vader. **I suggest, Grand Master, that Skywalker is not being entirely truthful. It might be a good idea if he were deprived of certain privileges until he is ready to tell us the whole story. I personally feel he should be taken off the Revan Smashball team until he is ready to be honest.

**Mothma. **Now really, Darth. I see no reason to stop the boy's playing Smashball. The nexu wasn't hit over the head with an X-wing. There is no evidence at all that Skywalker has done anything wrong.

**Yoda. **Innocent until proven guilty, Darth.

_Vader and Jurokk look furious._

**Jurokk. **My nexu has been _Morichro_-ed. I want to see some punishment.

**Yoda. **We will be able to cure her, Darth. As I understand it, Master Yaddle has a very healthy growth of bota. When they have matured, a potion will be made which will revive 4-A7.

**Farfalla. **I'll make it. I must have done it hundreds of times. I could whip up a Bota Restorative Draught in my sleep.

**Vader. **Excuse me. But I believe _I _am the Potions Master at this Temple.

_There is an awkward pause._

**Yoda. **In the meantime, I strongly recommend caution to all.

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Han.** A Fallanassi's someone who's born into a Forceful family but hasn't got any powers of his own. It's why Jurokk is trying to learn the Force from the Aing-Tii. It's also why he hates students so much. He's bitter.

**Leia. **It's a bit strange, isn't it?

**Luke. **Strange?

**Leia. **You hear this voice, a voice only you can hear. And then 4-A7 winds up _Morichro_-ed. It's just strange.

**Luke. **Do you think I should have told them, Yoda and the others, I mean?

**Han. **Are you mad? No, Luke. Even in the Force-sensitive world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

**Luke. **You do believe me, don't you?

**Han. **Of course I do. But you have to admit Leia's right; it's strange.

**Luke. **I know it's strange. This whole thing is strange. What was that writing on the wall about? "The Dark Temple has been opened." What's that supposed to mean?

**Han. **You know, it sort of rings a chime. I think someone told me a story about a secret temple underneath the Jedi Temple once. Maybe it was Kyle.

_A chrono chimes somewhere._

**Luke. **We'd better go to bed before Vader comes along and tries to frame us for something else.

_Exit all._


	19. Vodo Siosk-Baas

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside] _The Temple can still talk of nothing else but the attack on 4-A7. Jurokk keeps it in everyone's minds by pacing the scene of the crime, as if he thinks the attacker might come back. When he's not guarding the crime, he's skulking about, lounging out at unsuspecting students and trying to put them in detention for things like "breathing loudly" or "looking happy."

_Enter Han and Mara, the latter disturbed by 4-A7's fate._

**Han. **But you haven't really got to know 4-A7. Honestly, we're much better without her.

_Mara's lip trembles._

Stuff like this doesn't often happen at the Jedi Temple. They'll catch the maniac who did it and have him out of here in no time. I just hope he's got time to _Morichro_ Jurokk before he's expelled.

_Mara glares at him._

I'm only joking.

_Exit Han and Mara._

**Luke. **_[aside] _The attack has a strange effect on Leia, as well. It's quite usual for Leia to spend a great deal of time reading. But now she spends every hour of the day in the Archives.

_Luke heads up to the Archives._

_Enter Ooryl Qrygg._

_Luke opens his mouth to greet the Gand._

_Exit Ooryl._

_Enter Han, measuring his Galactic History homework._

**Han. **I don't believe it. I'm still eight inches short. And Leia's done four feet seven inches and her writing's _tiny_.

**Luke. **Where is she?

**Han. **_[indicates the shelves] _Somewhere over there. I think she's trying to read the entire Archives before Life Day.

**Luke. **Han. Just a few moments ago, I saw Ooryl Qrygg - you know, that boy from Living Force. And when opened my mouth to say hello, he ran off. What the bloody hell was that all about?

**Han. **I don't know why you care. I thought he was a bit of an idiot, all that junk about Farfalla's being so great . . .

_Enter Leia._

**Leia. **_All _the copies of _The Jedi Path_ have been taken out. And there's a two-week waiting list. I _wish _I hadn't left my copy at home, but I couldn't fit it in my trunk with all the Farfalla books.

**Luke. **Why do you want it?

**Leia. **The same reason everyone else wants it, to read up on the legend of the Dark Temple.

**Luke. **What's that?

**Leia. **That's just it. I can't remember. And I can't find the story anywhere else.

**Han. **Leia. Let me read your composition.

**Leia. **No, I won't. You've had ten days to finish it.

**Han. **I only need another two inches. Come on.

_Han and Leia bicker the whole way to Galactic History._

_Enter Vodo Siosk-Baas, the Force spirit of a long-dead insectoid Master with dark eyes and red skin._

_Master Baas bores his students with lectures._

_Leia raises her hand._

_Baas looks up from a boring lecture on the Galactic Alliance of 1289._

**Baas. **Miss . . . er . . .

**Leia. **Organa, Master. I was wondering if you could tell us anything about the Dark Temple?

_A hush falls over the class._

**Baas. **My subject is Galactic History. I deal with _facts_, Miss Orgath, not myths and legends. _[returns to his notes] _In September of that year, a subcommittee of Krevaaki sorcerors . . .

_Leia raises her hand again._

Miss Orgath?

**Leia. **Please, sir. Don't legends always have a basis in fact?

**Baas. **Well, yes. One could argue that. However, the legend of which you speak is such a _sensational_, even _ludicrous _tale . . .

_The entire class is giving Master Bass their undivided attention._

Oh, very well. Let me see . . . The Dark Temple . . . You all know, of course, that the Jedi Temple was founded over a thousand years ago by the four greatest Force adepts of the age: Darth Revan, Meetra Surik, Bastila Shan, and Exar Kun. They built the Temple together, far from mundane prying eyes, for it was an age when the Force was feared by common people, and Force-sensitives faced much persecution. For a few years, the founders worked in harmony, seeking out youngsters who showed signs of Force sensitivity and bringing them to the Temple to be educated. But then disagreements sprang up between them.

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke] _Three guesses why.

**Baas.** Exar Kun wished to be more _selective _about the students admitted to the Temple. He believed that Force learning should be kept within Force-using families; in other words, Purebloods. He disliked taking students of mundane parentage, believing them to be untrustworthy. After there was a serious argument on the subject between Kun and Revan, Kun decided to leave the Temple. Reliable historical sources tell us this much. But these honest facts have been obscured by the fanciful legend of the Dark Temple. According to legend, Kun built had built a hidden temple within this Temple, known as the Dark Temple. Shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own true heir returned to the Temple. The Heir alone would be able to open the Dark Temple, unleash the horror within, and by so doing, purge the Temple of all those who, in Kun's view, were unworthy to study the Force.

_Seeing the rapt attention to his words, Baas looks annoyed._

The whole thing is arrant nonsense, of course. Naturally, the Temple has been searched many times, by the most learned practioners of the Force. It does not exist, a tale told to frighten the gullible.

_Leia raises her hand._

**Leia. **Master. What exactly does the legend tell us lies within the Dark Temple?

**Baas. **The Dark Temple is said to be home to something that only the Heir of Kun can control. It is said to be the home of a monster.

_The class exchanges nervous looks._

I tell you, the thing does not exist. There is no Dark Temple and no monster.

**Nien. **But sir. If the Dark Temple can only be opened by Kun's true heir, no one else _would _be able to find it, would they?

**Baas. **Nonsense, Nouble. If a long succession of Jedi Grand Masters haven't found the thing . . .

**Winter. **But Master. You'd probably have to use the dark side to open it . . .

**Baas. **Just because a Force adept _doesn't _use the dark side doesn't mean he _cannot_, Miss Radcliffe. I repeat, if the likes of Yoda . . .

**Lando. **But maybe you've got to be related to Kun, so Yoda couldn't . . .

**Baas. **That will do. It is a myth. It does not exist. There is not a shred of evidence that Kun ever built so much as secret hangar. I regret telling you such a foolish story. We will return, if you please, to _history_, to solid, believable, verifiable _fact_.

_Exit all._


	20. Leia's Plan

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Han. **I always knew Exar Kun was a twisted old loony. But I never knew he started all this Pureblood stuff. I wouldn't be in his House if you paid me. Honestly, if the Sorting Mask had tried to put me in Kun, I'd have got the ship back home.

_Enter Dak._

**Dak. **Hiya, Luke.

**Luke. **Hello, Dak.

**Dak. **Luke . . . Luke . . . A boy in my class has been saying you're . . .

_But Dak gets lost in the crowd._

See you, Luke.

_Exit Dak._

**Leia. **What's a boy in his class saying about you?

**Luke. **That I'm Kun's heir, I expect.

**Han. **People here will believe anything.

_The crowd thins and they climb the stairs._

_[to Leia] _Do you really think there's a Dark Temple?

**Leia. **I don't know. Yoda couldn't cure 4-A7, and that makes me think that whatever attacked him might not be . . . well . . . sentient.

_They pass the corridor where 4-A7 was attacked._

**Han. **That's where Jurokk has been keeping guard.

**Luke. **It can't hurt to poke around.

_Luke crawls on hands and knees, looking for clues._

Scorch marks. Here . . . and here . . .

**Leia. **Come and look at this. This is funny . . .

_Luke stands up and walks over to where Leia is pointing._

_Enter Arachnes, crawling around._

**Leia. **I've never seen arachnes act like that.

**Han. **_[backing away] _I don't like arachnes.

**Leia. **I never knew this. You've used arachnes in Potions several times. . . .

**Han. **I don't mind them dead. I don't like the way they move. . . .

_Leia giggles._

It's not funny. If you must know, when I was three, Jacen turned my . . . my stuffed tauntaun into a great filthy arachne because I broke his toy starfighter. You wouldn't like them either if you'd been holding your tauntaun and suddenly it had too many legs and . . .

_Han shudders._

**Luke. **Remember all that water on the floor? Where did that come from? Someone's mopped it up.

**Han. **_[indicates a door] _It was about here. Level with this door.

_Han grabs the doorknob, then quickly pulls his hand away._

**Luke. **What's the matter?

**Han. **Can't go in there. That's a females' refresher.

**Leia. **O! Han. There won't be anyone in there. That's Lorana Jinzler's place. Come on. Let's have a look.

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter the refresher._

_Enter Lorana._

Hello, Lorana. How are you?

**Lorana. **This is a _females' _refresher. _They're_ not female.

**Leia. **No. I just wanted to show them how . . . er . . . nice it is in here.

**Luke. **_[aside, to Leia] _Ask her if she saw anything.

**Lorana. **What are you whispering?

**Luke. **Nothing. We wanted to ask . . .

**Lorana. **I wish people would stop talking behind my back. I _do _have feelings, you know, even if I'm _dead _. . .

**Leia. **Lorana. No one wants to upset you. Luke only . . .

**Lorana. **No one wants to upset me? That's a good one. My life was nothing but misery at this place and now people come along ruining my death.

**Leia. **We wanted to ask you if you'd seen anything funny lately, because a nexu was attacked right outside your front door on Halloween.

**Luke. **Did you see anyone near there last night?

**Lorana. **_[dramatic] _I wasn't paying attention. PROXY upset me so much I came in here and tried to _kill _myself. Then, of course, I remembered that I'm . . . that I'm . . .

**Han. **Already dead?

_Exit Lorana, sobbing._

**Leia. **She's a little sensitive. Let's go.

_Luke, Han, and Leia exit the refresher._

_Enter Threepio._

**Threepio. **Han! That's a _females' _refresher. What were _you _. . . ?

**Han. **_[shrugs] _Just having a look around. Clues, you know . . .

**Threepio. **Get . . . away . . . from . . . there! Don't you _care _what this looks like, coming back here while everyone's at dinner?

**Han. **_[glares at Threepio] _Why shouldn't we be here? Listen. We never laid a finger on that nexu.

**Threepio. **That's what I told Mara. But she still seems to think you're going to be expelled. I've never seen her so upset, crying her eyes out. You might want to think about _her_. All the first years are thoroughly overexcited by this business . . .

**Han. **_[angry] _You don't care about Mara. _You're _just worried I'm going to mess up your chances of being Head Boy . . .

**Threepio. **Five points from Revan. And I hope it teaches you a lesson. No more _detective work_, or I'll write to Mother.

_Exit Threepio._

_Luke, Han, and Leia return to Revan Tower._

**Leia. **Who can it be, though? Who would _want _to frighten all the Fallanassi and mundane-borns out of the Jedi Temple.

**Han. **Let's think, who do we know who thinks all mundane-borns are scum?

**Leia. **If you're talking about Marek . . .

**Han. **Of course. You heard him. "You'll be next, infidels."

**Leia. **I _heard _him. But Marek, the Heir of Kun . . .

**Luke. **Maybe Han's right, Leia. I mean, look at his family. The whole lot of them have been in Kun for centuries. They could easily be Kun's descendants. His father's definitely evil enough.

**Han. **They could have had the keycard to the Dark Temple for centuries, handing it down, father to son.

**Leia. **Well, I suppose it's possible. . . .

**Han. **Evazan and Baba must know. Maybe we can trick them into telling. . . .

**Leia. **Even they aren't that thick. But there might be another way. Mind you, it would be difficult. Not to mention we would be breaking about fifty Temple rules. And it will ve dangerous, very dangerous.

**Han. **If, in a month or so, you feel like explaining, you will let us know, won't you?

**Leia. **All right. What we'd need to do is to get inside the Kun common room and ask Marek a few questions without his realizing it's us.

_Han laughs._

**Luke. **But that's impossible.

**Leia. **No. It's not. All we'd need would be Alter Image.

**Both. **What's that?

**Leia. **Vader mentioned in class a few weeks ago . . .

**Han. **Do you think we've got nothing better to do in Potions than listen to Vader?

**Leia. **It transforms you into someone else. Think about it: we could change into three Kuns. No one would know what it was us. Marek would probably tell us anything. He's probably boasting about it in the Kun common room right now, if only we could hear him.

**Han. **This Alter Image sounds dodgy to me. What if we were stuck looking like three Kuns forever?

**Leia. **It wears off after a while. But getting hold of the recipe will be very difficult. Vader said it was in a book called _The Lost Secrets of the Jedi_, and it's bound to be in the Holocron Vaults in the Archives.

**Han. **It's hard to see why we'd want the book, really, if we weren't going to make one of the potions.

**Leia. **I think that if we make it sound as though we were just interested in the theory, we might stand a chance.

**Han. **Oh, come on. No Master's going to fall for that. They'd have to be really thick.

_Exit all._


	21. The Lost Secrets of the Jedi

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla and his second year class._

**Luke. **_[aside] _Ever since the Vagaari incident, Farfalla has not brought live creatures into class. Instead, he reads passages from his books and sometimes reenacts the more dramatic parts. He usually picks me to help with these demonstrations; so far, I've been forced to play a simple Ruusan villager whom Farfalla cured of Force Insanity, a Talz with a head cold, and an Anzati who was never able to eat anything but lettuce after Farfalla dealt with him. Now I am forced to act like a Shistavanen Wolfman. I would refuse, but I have a very good reason for keeping Farfalla happy.

**Farfalla. **Nice loud howl, Luke.

_Luke howls._

Exactly. And then, if you'll believe it, I pounced like this, _slammed _him to the floor, and with one hand, I managed to hold him down. With my other, I put my lightsaber to his throat. I then screwed up my remaining strength and performed the immensely complex Art of the Small. He let out a piteous moan. Go on, Luke.

_Luke moans._

Higher than that.

_Luke moans higher._

Good. The fur vanished, the fangs shrank, and he turned back into a man. Simple yet effective, and another village will remember me forever as the hero who delivered them from the monthly terror of wolfman attacks.

_The bell rings._

Homework: compose a poem on my defeat of the Shistavanen Wolfman. Signed copies of _Blazing Rockets _to the author of the best one.

_Exit all but Farfalla, Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Luke. **Ready?

_Luke, Han, and Leia approach Farfalla's desk._

**Leia. **Er, Master Farfalla? I wanted to . . . to get this holobook out of the Archives, just for background reading. But the thing is, it's in the Holocron Vaults of the Archives, so I need a Master to sign it. I'm sure it would help me understand what you say in _Gadding with Ryn_ about slow-acting venoms. . . .

**Farfalla. **O! _Gadding with Ryn_. Possibly my very favorite book. You enjoyed it?

**Leia. **Oh, yes. So clever, the way you trapped that last one in the tea-strainer . . .

**Farfalla. **Well, I'm sure no one will mind my giving the best student of the year a little extra help.

_Farfalla takes the note and pulls out a feathery pen._

_Han looks at the pen with disgust._

Yes. Nice, isn't it? I usually save it for book signings.

_Farfalla signs the note._

_[to Luke] _So Luke. Tomorrow's the first Smashball match of the season, I believe? Revan against Kun, is it not? I hear you're a useful player. I was a seeker, too - for Shan. I was asked to try out for the National Squad, but preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the dark side. Still, if you ever feel the need for a little private training, don't hesitate to ask. Always happy to pass on my expertise to novices.

_Exit Farfalla._

**Luke. **I don't believe it. He didn't even look at the book we wanted.

**Han. **That's because he's a brainless _git_. But who cares? We've got what we need.

**Leia. **He is _not _a brainless git.

**Han. **Just because he said you were the best student of the year . . .

_They lower their voices as they enter the Archives._

_Enter Jocasta Nu._

**Nu. **_The Lost Secrets of the Jedi_?

_Nu tries to take the note, but Leia holds on tight._

**Leia. **I was wondering if I could keep it.

**Han. **_[gives the note to Nu] _Oh, come on. We'll get you another autograph. Farfalla will sign anything if it stands still long enough.

_Nu holds the note up to the light, checking for forgery._

_Nu enters the Holocron Vaults and returns with _The Lost Secrets of the Jedi_._

_Leia takes the holobook._

_Exit Nu._

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

_Enter Lorana, who ignores them._

_Leia opens the book._

**Leia. **Here it is. I've never seen a more complicated potion. Bogwing flies, leeches, rootleaf, and knotgrass. Well, they're easy enough. They're in the student storage cupboard. We can help ourselves. . . . O! Look . . . powdered horn of a gundark . . . I don't know where we're going to get that. Shredded skin of a crystal snake. That will be tricky, too. And of course, we'll need a bit of whoever we're changing into.

**Han. **Excuse me. I'm not drinking anything with Evazan's toenails in it.

**Leia. **We don't have to worry about that part yet, though, because we add those parts last. . . .

**Luke. **Do you realize how much we're going to have to steal, Leia? Shredded skin of a crystal snake - that's definitely not in the students' cupboard. What are we going to do, break into Vader's private stores? I don't know if this is a good idea. . . .

**Leia. **_[slams the book shut] _Well, if you two are going to chicken out, fine. _I _don't want to break rules, you know. _I _think threatening mundane-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion. But if you don't want to find out if it's Marek, I'll go straight up to Master Nu now and hand the book back . . .

**Han. **I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be persuading us to break rules. All right. We'll do it. But not toenails, okay?

**Luke. **How long will it take to make, anyway?

**Leia. **A month.

**Han. **A month? But Leia, if Marek _is _the Heir of Kun, he could attack half the mundane-borns in the Temple by then.

**Leia. **I know. But it's the only plan we've got.

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke] _It will be a lot less hassle if you can knock Marek out of his ship tomorrow.

_Exit all._


	22. The Rogue Dovin Basal

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Jacen, Ben, Tycho, Tenel Ka, Lowbacca, and Tahiri._

**Tycho. **Kun has better ships than us. There's no point denying it. But we've got better _people _on our ships. We've trained harder than they have, we've been flying in all weathers . . .

**Ben. **Too true. I haven't been properly dry since August.

**Tycho. **. . . and we're going to make them rue the day they let that little bit of slime, Marek, buy his way onto their team. _[to Luke] _It will be down to you, Luke, to show them that a seeker has to have something more than a rich father. Get the Globe before Marek or die trying, Luke, because we have to win today. We have to.

**Jacen. **So no pressure, Luke.

_The Revans take off into the sky._

_Enter Galen Marek, Moradmin Bast, Bruck Chun, Sora Bulq, Reck Desh, Cad Bane, and Mosh Barris, flying across from them._

_Enter Garven Dreis._

**Dreis. **Captains. Shake hands.

_Tycho and Bast shake hands, glaring at each other and gripping rather harder than is necessary._

On my whistle. Three . . . two . . . one . . .

_The game begins._

_Luke and Marek fly higher than everyone else, squinting around for the Globe._

_Marek flies past Luke, showing off the speed of his XJ._

**Marek. **All right there, Wormie?

_Before Luke can reply, a Dovin Basal comes his way; it is repelled by Ben._

**Ben. **Watch yourself, Luke.

_Ben hits the Dovin Basal toward Bruck Chun, but veers around back toward Luke._

_Luke dodges._

_Ben tries to hit the Dovin Basal toward Marek, but again it comes back toward Luke._

_Luke speeds away, the Dovin Basal chasing him._

_Chewbacca, sitting with Han and Leia in the stands, sees this._

**Chewbacca. **Luke's got himself a rogue Dovin Basal. That's been tampered with, that has.

**Han. **_[removes his lightsaber] _I'll stop it.

**Leia. **No. Even with a proper lightsaber, it's too risky. You could hit Luke.

_Luke ducks as Jacen tries to hit the Dovin Basal away from him._

**Jacen. **Gotcha!

_The Dovin Basal veers around towards Luke._

**Janson. **_[into megaphone] _Kun lead, sixty points to zero . . .

_Jacen and Ben fly on either side of Luke, as the Dovin Basal chases after him._

**Jacen. **_[wrestles with the Dovin Basal] _Someone's . . . tampered . . . with . . . this . . . Dovin . . . Basal . . .

**Ben. **_[signals Tycho] _We need a time-out.

_Dreis's whistle blows, and the Revans land._

**Tycho. **What's going on? We're being flattened. Jacen, Ben. Where were you when that Dovin Basal stopped Tenel Ka from scoring?

**Ben. **_[angry] _We were twenty feet above her, stopping the other Dovin Basal from murdering Luke, Tycho. Someone has fixed it. It won't leave him alone. It hasn't gone after anyone else all game. The Kuns must have done something to it.

**Tycho. **But the Dovin Basals have been locked in Master Dreis's quarters since our last practice, and there was nothing wrong with them then. . . .

**Luke. **Listen. With you two's flying around me all the time, the only way I'm going to catch the Globe is if it flies up my sleeve. Go back to the rest of the team and let me deal with the rogue one.

**Jacen. **Don't be thick. It will take your head off.

**Lowbacca. **_[angry] _Tycho. This is insane. You can't let Luke deal with that thing on his own. Let's ask for an inquiry. . . .

**Luke. **If we stop now, we'll have to forfeit the match. And we're not losing to Kun just because of some crazy Dovin Basal. Come on, Tycho. Tell them to leave me alone.

**Ben. **_[to Tycho, angry] _This is all your fault. "Get the Globe or die trying." What a stupid thing to tell him!

_Enter Dreis._

**Dreis. **Ready to resume play?

**Tycho. **_[glances at Luke's determined face] _All right. Jacen, Ben. You heard Luke. Leave him alone and let him deal with the Dovin Basal on his own.

_On Dreis's whistle, the Revans return to the skies._

_Luke climbs high into the sky, swooping, rolling, and zigzagging out of the Dovil Basal's way._

_The crowd laughs, as Luke spirals like a roller-coaster._

**Marek. **_[sneers] _Training for the ballet, Skywalker?

_Glaring hatefully at Marek, Luke sees the Golden Globe right by Marek's ear._

_The Dovin Basal hits Luke, smashing into his elbow, breaking his arm._

_Luke holds onto his ship with only his knees, his right arm dangling loosely at his side._

_Luke swerves away from the Dovin Basal._

_Luke dives toward Marek, whose eyes widen with fear, thinking Luke's attacking him._

What the . . . ?

_Luke takes his remaining hand out of his starfighter and catches the Globe._

_Luke tumbles out of the sky and crashes to the ground, the Globe tight in his grasp._

**Luke. **O! We've won.

_Luke faints._

_Luke returns to consciousness, surrounded by his friends and Masters._

**Farfalla. **Not to worry, Luke. I will fix that arm of yours straight away.

**Luke. **Oh, not you.

**Farfalla. **Poor boy. He doesn't know what he's saying.

_Enter Dak, snapping holographs with his holocam._

**Luke. **I don't want a holograph of this, Dak.

**Farfalla. **Lie back, Luke. It's a simple charm. I've used it countless times . . .

**Luke. **Why can't I just go to the medcenter?

**Tycho. **_[grinning] _He really should, Master. _[to Luke] _Great capture, Luke. Really spectacular. Your best yet, I'd say.

_Jacen and Ben wrestle the rogue Dovin Basal into a box._

**Farfalla. **_[removes his lightsaber] _Stand back.

**Luke. **No. Don't.

_Using the Force, Farfalla unintentionally removes the bones from Luke's right arm._

**Farfalla. **O! Yes. That can sometimes happen. But very clearly, the bones are not broken.

**Chewbacca. **Broken? There are no bones left.

**Farfalla. **Luke. Just toddle off to the medcenter. O! Master Solo, Miss Organa. Would you escort him? And Master Che will be able to . . . er . . . tidy you up a bit.

_Exit all._


	23. Jar Jar's Final Warning

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Han, Leia, and Luke, who is laying on a bed in the medcenter._

_Enter Vokara Che._

**Che. **You should have come straight to me. I can mend bones in a heartbeat, but growing them back . . .

**Luke. **You will be able to, won't you?

**Che. **Oh, I'll be able to, certainly. But it will be painful. You'll have to stay the night.

_Exit Che._

**Han. **How can you stick up for Farfalla now, Leia? If Luke had wanted deboning, he would have asked.

**Leia. **Anyone can make a mistake. And it doesn't hurt anymore, does it, Luke?

**Luke. **No. But it doesn't do much else either.

_Enter Che, with a bottle of kolto._

**Che. **You're in for a rough night, Skywalker. Regrowing bones is a nasty business.

_Luke drinks the kolto, the lines of his face etched with revulsion._

What did you expect, juri juice?

_Exit Che._

**Han. **We won, though. That was some catch you made. Marek's face - he looked ready to kill.

**Leia. **I want to know how he fixed that Dovin Basal.

**Luke. **We can add that to the list of questions we'll ask him when we've done the Alter Image. I hope it tastes better than this stuff. . . .

**Han. **If it's got bits of Kuns in it? You've got to be joking.

_Enter Tycho, Jacen, Ben, Tenel Ka, Lowbacca, and Tahiri._

**Ben. **Unbelievable flying, Luke. I've just seen Moradmin Bast, yelling at Marek. Something about having the Globe on top of his head and not noticing. Marek didn't seem too happy.

_Enter Che._

**Che. **This boy needs rest. He's got thirty-three bones to regrow. Out. Out!

_Exit all but Luke._

_Luke sleeps._

_Enter Jar Jar._

_Luke awakes._

**Jar Jar. **Hello.

**Luke. **Jar Jar?

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker should have listened to Jar Jar. Luke Skywalker should have gone home when he missed the ship.

**Luke. **_[suspicious] _It was _you_? _You_ stopped the barrier from letting Han and me through?

**Jar Jar. **Indeed yes, sir. Jar Jar hid and watched for Luke Skywalker and sealed the gateway. Jar Jar had to iron his hands afterward, but Jar Jar didn't care, sir, for he thought Luke Skywalker was safe, and _never _did Jar Jar dream that Luke Skywalker would get to the Temple another way. Jar Jar was so shocked when he realized Luke Skywalker was at the Jedi Temple, he let his master's dinner burn. Such a flogging Jar Jar never had, sir . . .

**Luke. **You nearly got Han and me expelled. You'd better get lost before my bones come back, Jar Jar, or I might strangle you.

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar is used to death threats, sir. Jar Jar gets them five times a day at home.

_Jar Jar sobs on his cloth pillowcase._

**Luke. **Why do you wear that thing, Jar Jar?

**Jar Jar. **'Tis, sir, is a mark of a Gungan's enslavement. Jar Jar can only be freed if his master presents him with clothes. Luke Skywalker must go home. Jar Jar thought his Dovin Basal would be enough to make Luke Skywalker see . . .

**Luke. **_Your _Dovin Basal? You made that Dovin Basal chase after me? I don't suppose you're going to tell me _why _you tried to kill me?

**Jar Jar. **Not kill you, sir. Never kill you. Jar Jar remembers how it was before Luke Skywalker triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We Gungans were treated like vermin, sir. Of course, Jar Jar is still treated like vermin. But mostly, sir, life improved for my kind since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's fall. Luke Skywalker survived, and the Dark Lord's power was broken, and it was a new dawn, sir. Luke Skywalker shone like a beacon of hope for those of us who thought the Dark Times would never end, sir.

_Jar Jar tilts his head and lifts one ear, as if hearing sounds._

_He leaps onto Luke's bed._

_[whispers] _Listen, listen. Terrible things are about to happen at the Jedi Temple. Luke Skywalker must not stay here now that history repeats itself.

**Luke.** _[whispers] _Repeats itself? You mean this has happened before?

_Luke seizes the Gungan's wrist before he can hit himself with the water jug._

But I'm not mundane-born. How can I been in danger from the Dark Temple?

**Jar Jar. **O! Sir. Ask no more. Ask no more of poor Jar Jar. Dark deeds are planned in this place, but Luke Skywalker must not be here when they happen. Go home, Luke Skywalker, go home. Luke Skywalker must not meddle in this, sir. 'Tis too dangerous.

**Luke. **_[with a firm hand on Jar Jar's wrist] _Tell me, Jar Jar. When did this happen before? Who's doing it now?

**Jar Jar. **Jar Jar cannot say, sir. Jar Jar only wants Luke Skywalker to be safe.

**Luke. **I'm not going anywhere. One of my best friends is mundane-born. She'll be first in line if the Dark Temple really has opened . . .

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker risks his own life for his friends. So noble! So valiant! But he must save himself; he must. Luke Skywalker must not . . .

_Jar Jar tilts his head again, his earlobes twitching._

Jar Jar must go.

_Exit Jar Jar, vanishing into thin air with a sound like blasterfire._

_Luke pretends to sleep._

_Enter Yoda and Mon Mothma, carrying the limp form of Dak Ralter._

**Yoda. **Get Master Che.

_Enter Che._

**Che. **What's happened?

**Yoda. **There has been another attack. Mon found him on the stairs.

**Mothma. **There was a bunch of grapes next to him. We think he was trying to sneak up to visit Skywalker. You know, I think he's been _Morichro_-ed. I shudder to think . . . If Yoda hadn't been on his way downstairs for hot chocolate, who knows what might have happened to him.

_Yoda picks up Dak's holocam._

Perhaps he managed to get a holograph of his attacker.

_A jet of steam hisses from the holocam with the smell of burnt holofilm._

**Che. **By the Emperor's Black Heart! Melted. All melted . . .

**Mothma. **What does this _mean_, Yoda?

**Yoda. **It means our students are in grave danger.

**Mothma. **What should I tell the staff?

**Yoda. **The truth. The Jedi Temple is no longer safe. It is as we feared, Mon. The Dark Temple has indeed been open again.

_Master Che gasps. Senator Mothma stares at Yoda._

**Mothma. **But Yoda. Surely, who?

**Yoda. **The question is not _who_. The question is _how_.

_Exit all._


	24. Luke Tells Han and Leia About Jar Jar

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Che._

_Luke stands, fully healed._

**Che. **All in order. You may leave.

_Luke heads for Revan Tower, but Han and Leia aren't there._

_Luke passes the Archives; they aren't there either._

_Enter Threepio._

**Threepio. **Oh, hello, Luke. Excellent flying yesterday, really excellent. Revan has taken the lead for the House Cup. You earned fifty points.

**Luke. **You haven't seen Han or Leia, have you?

**Threepio. **No. I haven't. _[smile fades] _I hope Han isn't in another females' refresher.

_Luke forces a laugh._

_Exit Threepio._

_Luke enters Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

**Luke.** It's me.

**Leia. **Luke. You gave us such a fright. Come in. How's your arm?

**Luke. **Fine.

_Leia brews the Alter Image._

**Han. **We'd have come to meet you, but we decided to get started on the Alter Image. We decided this is the safest place to hide it.

**Luke. **When I was in the medcenter, Dak Ralter . . .

**Leia. **We already know. We heard Senator Mothma, telling Governor Bibble. That's why we decided we'd better get going . . .

**Han. **The sooner we get a confession out of Marek, the better. Do you know what I think? He was in such a foul temper after the Smashball match, he took it out on Dak.

**Luke. **There's something else. Jar Jar came to visit me in the middle of the night. It turns out he was behind the barrier's being sealed _and _the rogue Dovin Basal. _And _he said the Dark Temple not only exists, but it was open _before_.

**Leia. **The Dark Temple has been opened _before_?

**Han. **Of course. Don't you see? Dooku Marek must have opened when he was at this Temple, and now he's taught Galen how to do it. I wish Jar Jar would have told you what kind of monster's in there, though. I want to know how come nobody's noticed its sneaking around the Temple.

**Leia. **Maybe it can make itself invisible. Or maybe it can disguise itself? I've read about Chameleon Droids.

**Han. **You read too much, Leia.

_Han dumps bogwings into the potion._

_[to Luke] _So, Jar Jar stopped us from getting on the ship and broke your arm? You know what, Luke? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life, he's going to kill you.

_Exit all._


	25. The Theft

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter all Jedi, stepping in a tense atmosphere._

**Luke. **_[aside] _The first years, especially Mara, are terrified. But I feel Jacen and Ben are going the wrong way about cheering her up. They take turns covering themselves in boils and jumping out out at her from behind statues. Only when a raging Threepio threatens to tell Jaina Solo do they stop. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the Masters, a black market of talismans and amulets sweep across the Temple.

_Enter Wedge, with a Sith Chalice and a Darkstaff._

**Lando. **Wedge. You're a Pureblood. You're in no danger.

**Wedge. **They went for Jurokk first. And everyone knows I'm almost a Fallanassi.

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia, entering the dungeons._

**Luke. **_[aside] _Now we prepare to rob Vader's secret stores.

**Leia. **What we need is a diversion. Then one of us can sneak into Vader's quarters and take what we need. I think I'd better do the actual stealing. You two will be expelled if you get into anymore trouble, and I've got a clean record. So all you need to do is cause enough mayhem to keep Vader busy for five minutes or so.

**Luke. **_[shakes his head] _Why don't we just poke sleeping krayt dragon in the eye?

_Luke, Han, and Leia join the other second year Revans and Kun in Vader's classroom._

_Marek flicks fish eyes at Luke, but Vader pretends not to notice._

_The class brews Ewok Growth Formula._

_Vader sneers at Luke's mediocre potion, then goes off to bully Wedge._

_Leia catches Luke's eye; he nods._

_Luke picks up a Merr-Sonn rocket and tosses it into Baba's cauldron._

_As Growth Formula sprays everywhere, Leia sneaks away._

**Vader. **Silence. Silence! Anyone who had been splashed, come here for a Shrinkroot Potion. When I find out who did this . . .

_As the class gathers for the antidote, Leia returns with the stolen items._

_Vader reaches into Baba's cauldron and finds the rocket._

_A hush falls over the dungeon._

If I ever find out who threw this, I shall _make sure _that person is expelled.

_Vader looks straight at Luke._

_The bell rings._

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Luke, Han, and Leia return to Lorana's refresher._

**Luke. **He knew it was me. I could tell.

**Leia. **_[throws the new ingredients into the cauldron] _It will be ready in two weeks.

**Han. **Vader can't prove it was you. What can he do?

**Luke. **Knowing Vader, something foul.

_Exit all._


	26. The Dueling Academy

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, and Nien._

_They crowd around a notice on the board._

**Nien. **They're starting a Dueling Academy. First meeting tonight. I wouldn't mind dueling lessons; they might come in handy one of these days.

**Han. **What, you reckon Kun's monster can duel? _[reads the sign] _It could be useful. Shall we go?

_Luke, Han, and Leia sign their names._

_They enter the Great Hall, joining a whole crowd of initiates in front of a large stage._

**Leia. **I wonder who will be teaching us. Someone told me Bibble was a dueling champion when he was young. Maybe it will be him.

**Luke. **As long as it's not . . .

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla and Darth Vader._

_Luke groans._

**Farfalla. **Gather around. Gather around. Can everyone see see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent. In light of the dark events of recent weeks, Master Yoda has granted me permission to form this little Dueling Academy to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I've had to do on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works. Let me introduce my assistant, Lord Vader. He tells me he knows a tiny bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him. Never fear.

**Han. **Wouldn't it be good if they finished each other off?

_Vader's lip curls with loathing at Farfalla._

**Luke. **Why is Farfalla still smiling? If Vader was looking at me like that, I'd be running as far as I can in the opposite direction.

_Vader and Farfalla turned to face each other, bowed, and raised their lightsabers._

**Farfalla. **As you can see, we are holding our lightsabers in the accepted combative position. On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course.

**Luke. **Don't bet on it.

**Farfalla. **One . . . two . . . three . . .

**Vader. **Disarm.

_Using the Force, Vader removes Farfalla's weapon from his hand and shoots the celebrity Master backward._

_The Kuns cheer._

**Leia. **Do you think he's all right?

**Both. **Who cares?

_Farfalla gets to his feet._

**Farfalla. **Well, there you have it. That was a Force Disarm. As you see, I've lost my lightsaber.

_Bria Tharen retrieves his lightsaber._

O! Thank you, Miss Tharen. _[to Vader] _An excellent idea to show them _that_, Lord Vader. But if you don't mind my saying, it _was _pretty obvious what you were about to do. Had I wanted to stop you, I would have been only too easy.

_Vader's red eyes look angry enough to kill._

Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all in pairs. Lord Vader. If you'd like to help me . . .

_Farfalla pairs Wedge with Ooryl Qrygg._

_Vader approaches Luke and Han._

**Vader. **Time to split up the dream team, I think. Solo. You can partner with Nunb. Skywalker . . .

_Luke steps toward Leia._

I think not. Master Marek. Come over here. Let's see what you make of the famous Skywalker. And you, Miss Organa - you can partner with Miss Gethzerion.

_Enter Gethzerion, a pale hag with red eyes._

_Leia smiles weakly; Gethzerion does not._

**Farfalla. **Face your partners and bow.

_Luke and Marek face each other, barely inclining their heads._

Lightsabers at the ready. When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm you opponents. _Only _to disarm. We don't want any accidents here. One . . . two . . . three . . .

_Marek already begins on _two_._

_Luke is blasted backward._

_Luke rises to his feet._

**Luke. **Malacia.

_Marek is shot back, feeling dizzy._

**Farfalla. **I said disarm only!

_Marek rises to his feet._

**Marek. **Move.

_Using the Force, Marek causes Luke's legs to move beyond his control._

**Farfalla. **Stop! Stop!

**Vader. **Stop.

_Reaching into the Force, Vader ends the spell Marek has over Luke._

_The duels end._

_Wedge and Ooryl lay on the floor, panting._

_Han holds up an ashen-faced Nien Nunb._

**Han. **I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

_Gethzerion has Leia in a headlock._

_Luke pulls Gethzerion off and frees Leia._

**Farfalla. **Dear, dear. Up you go, Horn. Careful there, Miss Mingla. Pinch it hard; it will stop bleeding in a second, Konshi.

**Vader. **Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students how to block unfriendly spells, Farfalla.

**Farfalla. **An excellent suggestion, Lord Vader. Let's have a volunteer pair. Antilles, Qrygg. How about you?

**Vader. **Antilles causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Qrygg to the medcenter in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone from my own House? How about Marek and Skywalker?

**Farfalla. **Excellent idea.

_Luke and Marek step onto the stage._

Now Luke. When Galen points his lightsaber at you, you do this.

_Farfalla accidentally drops his lightsaber; Vader smirks._

Whoops. My lightsaber is a little overexcited.

**Vader. **_[whispers something inaudible in Marek's ear]_

**Luke. **_[to Farfalla, nervous] _Master. Could you show me that blocking thing again?

**Marek. **Scared, Skywalker?

**Luke. **You wish.

**Farfalla. **Just do what I did, Luke.

**Luke. **What, drop my lightsaber?

**Farfalla. **Three . . . two . . . one . . . go!

**Marek. **_[raises his lightaber] _Summon serpent.

_Enter Vine Snake, a deadly serpent with black and white striped patterns._

**Vader. **Don't move, Skywalker. I'll get rid of it for you.

**Farfalla. **Allow me, Lord Vader.

_Using the Force, Farfalla shoots the vine snake into the sky and back onto the ground; this serves only to annoy the snake._

_The vine snake moves toward Ooryl, its fangs exposed, ready to strike._

_Luke approaches the vine snake._

**Luke. **Leave him alone.

_The vine snake turns to face Luke, somehow listening to his every word._

_Luke grins at Ooryl, who looks angry and scared._

**Ooryl. **What are you playing at?

_Exit Ooryl, storming out of the room._

_Reaching into the Force, Vader vanishes the serpent into thin air._

_Everyone in the Hall looks at Luke, shock on their faces._

_Exit all._


	27. Yuuzhan Vong

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Han. **You're a Yuuzhan Vong. Why didn't you tell us?

**Luke. **I'm a what?

**Han. **A _Yuuzhan Vong_! You can talk to snakes.

**Luke. **I know. I mean, I accidentally set a krayt dragon on my cousin Jek at the zoo once. Long story. But it was telling me it had never seen the Jundland Wastes, and I sort of set it free without meaning to. That was before I knew I was Force sensitive.

**Han. **A krayt dragon told you it had never seen the Jundland Wastes?

**Luke. **But so what? I bet loads of people here can do it.

**Han. **No. They can't. It's not a very common gift, Luke. This is bad.

**Luke. **What's bad? If I hadn't told that vine snake not to attack Ooryl . . .

**Han. **O! That's what you said to it.

**Luke. **You were there. You heard me.

**Han. **I heard you speaking Vong, snake language. You could have been saying anything. No wonder Ooryl panicked. You sounded like you were egging the snake on or something. It was creepy, you know.

**Luke. **I spoke a different language? But I didn't realize . . . How can I speak a language without knowing I can?

_Han shook his head and exchanged grim looks with Leia._

Do you want to tell me what's wrong with stopping a vine snake from biting Ooryl's head off? What does it matter _how _I did it, as long as Ooryl doesn't have to join the Kiffar Army?

**Leia. **It matters because there's a reason the symbol of Kun House is a serpent. Exar Kun was a Yuuzhan Vong; he could speak to snakes, too.

**Han. **Exactly. So now the whole Temple's going to think you're his great-great-great-great-grandson or something.

**Luke. **But I'm not. I can't be.

**Leia. **He lived about a thousand years ago. For all we know, you could be.

_Exit all but Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside] _Could I be a descendant of Exar Kun? I don't know anything about my father's family, after all.

_Luke tries to speak Yuuzhan Vong, but nothing happens._

But I'm in Revan. The Sorting Mask wouldn't have put me in here if I had Kun blood.

_Luke looks up, stunned._

O! But Revan's Mask wanted to put me in Kun, didn't he?

_Luke turns in for bed._

I'll just speak to Ooryl tomorrow and explain that I'd been leading the snake off, not egging it on - as any fool should have realized.

_Exit Luke._


	28. Corran's Suspicions

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Luke. **With Yaddle's canceling Living Force, I don't see how I'll be able to find Ooryl and explain.

**Leia. **For the Force's sake, Luke! Go and _find_ Ooryl if it's so important to you.

_Exit Han and Leia._

_Luke leaves Revan Tower in search of Ooryl._

_Luke enters the Archives._

_Enter Corran Horn, a dark-haired boy in green robes the same shade as his eyes, and Iella Wessiri, a stubborn girl with blond hair and brown eyes._

_Luke hides, listening._

**Corran. **So anyway, I told Ooryl to hide up in our dormitory. I mean to say, if Skywalker's marked him as his next victim, it's best he keeps low profile for a while.

**Iella. **But why would he want to attack Ooryl?

**Corran. **Ooryl let it slip to Skywalker that he was mundane-born.

**Iella. **And you definitely think Skywalker's the Heir of Kun?

**Corran. **Iella. He's a Vong. Everyone knows that's the mark of a dark-sider. Have you ever heard of light-sider who could talk to snakes? They called Kun himself Serpent-Tongue. _[whispers] _Remember what was written on the wall: "Enemies of the Heir, beware." Skywalker had some sort of run-in with Jurokk. Next thing we know, Jurokk's nexu is attacked. That first year Ralter's been annoying Skywalker. Then Ralter's attacked.

**Iella. **Luke always seemed so nice, though. And after all, he _is _the one that made You-Know-Who disappear.

**Corran. **That's probably why You-Know-Who wanted to kill him in the first place. He didn't want another Dark Lord competing with him. I wonder what other powers Skywalker's been hiding?

_Luke approaches Corran and Iella, who both looked terrified by him._

**Luke. **Hello. I'm looking for Ooryl Qrygg.

**Corran. **_[fearful] _What do you want with him?

**Luke. **I want to tell him what really happened with that snake at the Dueling Academy.

**Corran. **_[takes a deep breath] _We were all there. We _saw _what happened.

**Luke. **Then you noticed that after I spoke to it, the snake backed off?

**Corran. **All I saw was your speaking Vong and chasing the snake toward Ooryl.

**Luke. **I didn't chase it at him. It didn't even _touch _him.

**Corran. **A very near miss. And in case you're getting any ideas, I might tell you that you can trace my family back through nine generations of Force adepts, and my blood's as pure as anyone's . . .

**Luke. **_[fierce] _I don't care what sort of blood you've got. Why would I want to attack mundane-borns?

**Corran. **I've heard you hate those mundanes you live with.

**Luke. **It's not possible to live with the Larses and not hate them. I'd like to see you try it.

_Luke storms off, receiving a reproving look from Jocasta Nu._

_Exit Corran, Iella, and Nu._

_Enter Chewbacca, wearing a ski mask._

**Chewbacca. **All right, Luke? Why aren't you in class?

**Luke. **Canceled. What are you doing here?

**Chewbacca. **_[holds out a deceased avril] _It's the second one killed this term. I reckon it's either foxes or a Kwazel Maw. I need Yoda's permission to put a charm around the hen-coop. You sure you're all right, Luke? You look all hot and bothered.

**Luke. **It's nothing. I'd better get going. I've got a lot of studying.

_Exit all._


	29. Yoda's Quarters

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke._

_Enter Ooryl Qrygg and Canderous Ordo, both _Moricho_-ed._

_Enter Arachnes, scurrying away from the limp bodies._

_Luke bends down._

**Luke. **Ooryl. Canderous.

_Enter PROXY._

**PROXY. **Why, it's wee Skywalker. What's Skywalker up to? Why's Skywalker lurking . . . ?

_PROXY stops mid-somersault, seeing Ooryl and Canderous._

Attack! Attack! Another attack! No mortal or ghost is safe! Run for your lives! _Attack_!

_Enter Mon Mothma, leading several Masters and students into the scene._

_Enter Corran Horn._

**Corran. **Caught in the act!

**Mothma. **That will do, Horn.

_Mothma and the other Masters bend down to examine Ooryl and Canderous._

**PROXY. **_[singing] _O! Skywalker, you ralker. O! What have you done? You're killing off students. You think it's good fun . . .

**Mothma. **That's enough, PROXY.

_Exit PROXY._

_Sio Bibble and Tionne Solusar, the silver-haired Master of Astronomy, carry Ooryl to the medcenter._

_Corran fans Canderous towards the medcenter._

**Luke. **Senator. I swear I didn't . . .

**Mothma. **This is out of my hands, Skywalker.

_Exit all but Luke and Mothma._

_Luke and Mothma approach a stone gargoyle._

Choclime twist.

_The gargoyle springs to life and admits them into Yoda's quarters._

Master Yoda will be waiting for you.

_Exit Mothma._

_Luke steps onto the gargoyle, which moves like a turbolift._

_Luke arrives at Yoda's door and walks in._

_Luke sees that Yoda's quarters are filled with silver Force-sensitive artifacts and holographs of every previous Grand Master: Revan, Exar Kun, Meetra Surik, Bastila Shan, Fae Coven, Thrackan Sal-Solo, Genarra, Cilghal, Ronhar Kim, and Shaak Ti._

_Enter Revan's Mask._

_Luke picks up the helmet and places it over his head._

**Mask. **Gort in your bonnet, Skywalker?

**Luke. **Er, yes. I was just . . . wondering whether you put me in the right House.

**Mask. **Yes. You were particularly difficult to place. But I stand by what I said last season. You would have done well in Kun.

**Luke. **You're wrong.

_Revan's Mask falls silent._

_Enter Vergere, a sickly-looking Fosh with red and blue feathers._

_[aside] _That's all I need, for Yoda's bird to die while I'm alone in the room with it.

_Vergere bursts into flames and dies._

_Enter Yoda._

**Yoda. **Luke.

**Luke. **Master. Your bird. There was nothing I could do. It just _caught fire_.

**Yoda. **About time, too. She's been looking dreadful for days. I've been telling her to get a move on.

_Yoda chuckles at Luke's stunned face._

Vergere is a Fosh, Luke. They burst into flames when it is time for them to die, and then they are reborn from the ashes.

_An infant Vergere resurfaces from the ashes._

Pity you had to see her on a Burning Day. She's really very beautiful most of the time, wonderful red and blue plumage. Fascinating creatures, Fosh. They can carry immensely heavy loads, their tears have healing powers, and they make highly faithful pets.

_Enter Chewbacca, his blue eyes blazing, the dead avian still in his hand._

**Chewbacca. **It wasn't Luke, Master Yoda. I was talking to him _seconds _before that kid was found. He never had time, sir.

**Yoda. **Chewbacca . . .

**Chewbacca. **It can't have been him. I'm prepared to swear it in front of the Galactic Republic.

**Yoda. **Chewbacca, I . . .

**Chewbacca. **You've got the wrong boy, sir. I _know _Luke never . . .

**Yoda. **Chewbacca! I do not believe that Luke has attacked anyone.

**Chewbacca. **Well, of course you don't. O! Right. I'll just wait outside, then.

_Exit Chewbacca._

**Luke. **You don't think it was me, Master?

**Yoda. **No, Luke. I do not think it was you. But I must ask you, is there anything you wish to tell me?

**Luke. **_[hesitates] _No, sir. Nothing.

**Yoda. **Very well, then. Off you go.

_Exit all._


	30. Just Having a Laugh

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Most students have left for the holidays, but all the Solos remained._

_Enter Jacen and Ben._

**Jacen. **Make way for the Heir of Kun!

**Ben. **Seriously evil dark-sider coming through!

_Enter Threepio and Mara._

**Threepio. **It is _not _a laughing matter.

**Jacen. **O! Get out of the way, Threepio. Luke's in a hurry.

**Ben. **Yeah. He's off to the Dark Temple for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.

**Mara. **Oh, _don't_.

_Exit Jacen, Ben, Threepio, and Mara._

**Han. **Oh, come on, Luke. Jacen and Ben are just having a laugh.

**Luke. **They're the only ones.

**Han. **Okay. So have half the Temple thinks you're sneaking off to the Dark Temple every night. Who cares?

**Luke. **So, I didn't know I could speak Yuuzhan Vong. What else don't I know about myself? Look. Maybe you can do something, even something _horrible_, and not know you did it.

**Leia. **You don't believe that, Luke. I know you don't. And if it makes you feel better, Marek's staying over for holiday, too.

**Han. **Why would that make anyone feel any better?

**Leia. **Because in a few days, the Alter Image will be ready. In a few days, we may truly know who is the Heir of Kun.

_Exit all._


	31. Alter Image

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Leia. **I've been up for nearly an hour, adding more bogwings to the potion. It's ready.

**Luke. **Are you sure?

**Leia. **Positive. If we're going to do it, it should be tonight.

_Enter R2-D2._

**Luke. **Hello. Are you speaking to me again?

_Artoo delivers Luke a toothpick from the Larses._

_Luke examines his more satisfactory presents: a tin of blob candy from Chewbacca, _Flying with the Dreadnaughts _from Han, a luxury pen from Leia, and a hand-knitted sweater and a banja cake from Jaina._

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter the Great Hall for the Life Day feast._

_Yoda leada them in his favorite carols, Chewbacca booming louder than ever._

_Jacen bewitches Threepio's badge to read _Pinhead_._

_The Revans laugh._

**Threepio. **What is so funny? I enjoy a good laugh.

**Marek. **_[sniggers] _Look at Skywalker's sweater. Looks like he's truly joined the scum of the galaxy.

**Han. **Don't let it bother you. With any luck, Marek will be getting his comeuppance tonight.

**Leia. **Everything's set. We just need a bit of who you're changing into. And we also need to make sure the _real _Evazan and Baba can't burst in on us while we're interrogating Marek.

**Han. **How?

**Leia. **I've got it all worked out. _[holds out two cakes] _I've filled these with a simple Sleeping Powder - simple but powerful. All you have to do is make sure the real Evazan and Baba find them. You know how greedy they are; they're bound to eat them. Once they're asleep, hide them in a storage closet and pull out a few of their hairs.

**Han. **Who's hair are you ripping out, then?

**Leia. **_[pulls out a silver hair] _I've already got mine. Remember Gethzerion's wrestling with me at the Dueling Academy? She left this on my robes when she was trying to strangle me. And she's gone home for Life Day, so I'll just have to tell the Kuns I've decided to come back.

_Exit Leia._

**Han. **Have you ever heard of a plan where so many things could go wrong?

_Exit all but Luke and Han._

_Luke and Han hide in the Great Hall and levitate the cakes with the Force._

_Enter Evazan and Baba._

**Baba. **Evazan. Look.

**Evazan. **O! Cool.

_Evazan and Baba eat the cakes and pass out._

**Han. **How thick can you get?

**Luke. **Come on. Let's get them.

_Luke and Han drag Evazan and Baba into the closet and retrieve their hairs and shoes._

_Luke and Han enter Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

_Enter Leia._

**Leia. **Did you grab the hairs?

_Luke's holds out Baba's black hair._

Good. And I sneaked these spare robes out of the laundry. You'll need bigger sizes once you're Evazan and Baba.

_Luke sees three goblets sitting on the toilet seat._

I'm sure I've done everything right. It looks like the book says it should. Once we've drunk it, we have exactly an hour before we change back into ourselves.

**Han. **Now what?

**Leia. **Add the hairs.

_Leia drops Gethzerion's silver hair into the goblet; it becomes a sickly shade of green._

**Han. **Urgh! Essence of Gethzerion. I bet it tastes disgusting.

**Leia. **Add yours, then.

_Luke drops Baba's black hair into the goblet; the potion turns orange._

_Han drops Evazan's gray hair into the goblet; it turns gray. _

**Luke. **Hang on. We'd better not drink them in here. Once we turn into Evazan and Baba, we won't fit. And Gethzerion's no Ewok.

**Han. **Good thinking. We'll take separate stalls.

_Exit Han and Leia, present but unseen._

**Luke. **Ready?

**Both. **Ready.

**Luke. **One . . . two . . . three . . .

_Luke drinks._

_Luke's appearance changes: green-gray skin, bulbous black eyes, wisps of black hair, and a walruslike face._

_He has become Ponda Baba._

_Luke kicks off his shoes and dresses in Baba's orange uniform._

**Baba. **Are you okay?

**Evazan. **_[Han] _Yeah.

_Luke steps out of the stall._

_Enter Han._

_Han's appearance has changed, as well: pale skin, gray hair, dark eyes, and deformed facial features._

This is unbelievable. _Unbelievable_.

**Baba.** _[loosens his chrono] _We'd better get going. We've still got to find out where the Kun common room is. I hope we can find someone to follow.

**Evazan. **You don't know how bizarre it is to see Baba _thinking_. _[bangs on Leia's door] _Come on. We need to go.

**Leia. **_[high-pitched] _I don't think I'm going. You two go on without me.

**Evazan. **Leia. We know Gethzerion is ugly, but no one is going to know it's you.

**Leia. **_[high-pitched] _Just go. You're wasting time.

_Luke and Han look stunned._

**Evazan. **_That _looks more like Baba. That's how he looks every time a Master asks him a question.

**Baba. **Leia. Are you okay?

**Leia. **_[high-pitched] _I'm fine. Go on.

_Exit Leia._

_Luke and Han leave Lorana's refresher._

**Baba. **_[to Han] _Don't swing your arms like that. Evazan holds them sort of stiff.

**Evazan. **How's this?

**Baba. **Much better.

_Luke and Han wander, confused._

Any ideas?

**Evazan. **The Kuns always come up to breakfast from over there.

_Enter Tece Fortine._

Excuse me. We've forgotten the way to our common room.

**Tece. **I beg your pardon? _Our _common room? _I'm _in Shan.

_Exit Tece._

_Luke and Han wander around, in search of Kuns._

_Enter Threepio._

**Threepio. **Excuse me.

**Evazan. **What are you doing down here?

**Threepio. **That is none of your business. It's Evazan, isn't it?

**Evazan. **Wh . . . oh, yeah.

**Threepio. **Well, get off to your dormitories. It's not safe to go wandering around dark corridors these days.

**Evazan. **You are.

**Threepio. **I happen to be a Temple prefect. Nothing's going to attack _me_.

_Enter Marek._

**Marek. **Evazan. Baba. Where have you been? Pigging out in the Great Hall all this time? I've been looking for you. I want to show you something funny.

_Marek sees Threepio._

What are you doing here, Solo?

**Threepio. **Mind your attitude, Marek. I'd think you'd show more respect to a Temple prefect.

_Exit Threepio._

_Luke, Han, and Marek leave for the dungeons._

**Marek. **That Tuope Solo . . .

**Evazan. **Threepio.

**Marek. **Whatever. I've noticed his sneaking around lately. And I bet I know what he's up to. He thinks he's going to catch Kun's heir single-handedly.

_Marek laughs._

_Luke and Han exchange looks._

_Luke, Han, and Marek reach the entrance to the Kun common room._

What's the password again?

**Baba. **Er . . .

**Marek. **Oh, right. Pureblood.

_Luke, Han, and Marek enter the Kun common room._

Wait here. I'll go and get it. Father's just sent it to me.

_Marek leaves and returns with a section of the HoloNet._

Well, sit down.

_Luke and Han sit down, doing their best to look at home._

_[throws the news to Han] _This will give you a laugh.

_Han reads, looking shocked, and hands it to Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside, reading] Inquiry at the Galactic Republic_: Jonash Solo, head of the Misuse of Mundane Artifacta Office, was today fined fifty dataries for his bewitching a mundane freighter. Count Dooku Marek, a member of the Jedi High Council, where the enchanted freighter crashed this season, called today for Master Solo's resignation. "Solo has brought the Republic into disrepute," Count Dooku told our reporter. "He is clearly unfit to draw up our laws and his ridiculous Rights of Sentience Act should be scrapped immediately." Master Solo was unavailable for comment, although his wife told reporters to clear off or she'd sic the family Ryn on them.

_Luke looks up from his reading._

**Marek. **Well? Don't you think it's funny?

_Luke and Han pretend to laugh._

Jonash Solo loves mundanes so much, he should snap his lightsaber in half, and go and join them. You wouldn't know the Solos were Purebloods, the way they behave. They're an embarrassment to the Forceful world, all of them.

_Han looks furious._

What's wrong with you, Evazan?

**Evazan. **Stomachache.

**Marek. **Well, go up to the medcenter and give all those infidels a good kick from me. You know, I'm surprised the HoloNet hasn't reported all these attacks. I suspect Yoda's trying to hush it all up. Father always said Yoda was the worse thing that ever happened to this place.

**Baba. **You're wrong.

_Marek stands._

**Marek. **What? You think there's someone here who's worse than Yoda? Huh? Do you?

_Han shakes his head._

**Baba. **Luke Skywalker.

**Marek. **Good one, Baba. You're absolutely right. Saint Skywalker. And people actually think that _he's _the Heir of Kun?

**Baba. **But you must have some idea who's behind it all.

**Marek. **You know I don't, Baba. I told you yesterday. How many times do I have to tell you? But Father did say this: It's been been fifty years since the Dark Temple was opened. He wouldn't tell me who opened it. But I know one thing; the last time the Dark Temple was opened, an infidel died. It's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me, I hope it's Organa.

_Han clenches Evazan's fists._

**Baba. **_[aside, to Han] _Calm down. _[to Marek] _Do you know if the person who opened the Dark Temple last time was caught?

**Marek. **Oh, yeah. They were expelled. They're probably still on Kessel.

**Baba. **_[frowns] _Kessel?

**Marek. **Kessel, the _galactic prison_, Baba. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward. _[shifts restlessly] _Father says to keep my head down and let the Heir of Kun get on with it. He says the Temple needs ridding of all the infidel filth, but not to get mixed up in it. Of course, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment. You know the Republic raided our château last week?

_Luke tries to look concerned._

Yeah. Luckily, they didn't find much. Father's got some _very _valuable dark side artifacts. But luckily, we've got our own secret temple under the drawing room floor.

**Evazan. **O!

_Luke and Marek glance at Han._

_Han blushes and his gray hair begins to return to brown. His deformed features smooth out._

_Luke's dark hair begins returning to blond, his thick build turning lean and agile once more._

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke] _Scar.

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han] _Hair.

**Han. **_[to Marek] _Medicine for my stomach.

_Luke and Han run out of the Kun common room._

_Exit Marek._

_Enter Evazan and Baba, glancing at Luke and Han with confusion._

_Luke and Han run past._

_Exit Evazan and Baba._

_Luke and Han return to Lorana's refresher, now back to their original appearances: blond hair, blue eyes, and innocent farmboy features; and brown hair, brown eyes, and roguish looks, respectively._

Well, it wasn't a complete waste of time. I know we still haven't found out who's behind these attacks, but I'm going to write to Dad tomorrow and tell him to check under the Solos' drawing room.

**Luke. **_[knocks on stall] _Leia. Come out. We have loads to tell you.

**Leia. **_[high-pitched] _Go away!

**Han. **What's the matter? You must be back to normal by now. We are . . .

_Enter Lorana Jinzler._

**Lorana. **O! Wait until you see! It's awful.

_Lorana laughs._

_The stall opens._

**Han. **What's up? Have you still got Gethzerion's nose or something?

_Enter Leia, covered in silver fur with ears poking out. Her eyes are red._

**Leia. **_[high-pitched] _It was a n-nexu's hair. G-Gethzerion m-must have a nexu. And the p-potion isn't supposed to be used for non-sentient transformations.

**Han. **Uh-oh.

**Lorana. **You'll be teased something _dreadful_.

**Luke. **It's okay, Leia. We'll take you up to the medcenter. Master Che never asks too many questions.

**Lorana. **Wait until everyone finds out you've got a _tail_.

_Exit all._


	32. A Very Secret Journal

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Luke and Han hand Leia her homework._

**Han. **If I'd sprouted whiskers, I'd take a break from work.

**Leia. **Don't be silly, Han. I've got to keep up. I don't suppose you've got any new leads?

**Luke. **Nothing.

**Han. **I was so _sure _it was Marek.

**Luke. **_[notices something] _What's that?

**Leia. **Just a get-well card.

**Han. **_[pulls out hololetter and reads] _To Miss Organa, wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned instructor, Master Valenthyne Farfalla, Order of Revan, Third Claa, honorary member of the Army of Light, and five-time winner of _Galactic Gossip_'s Most Charming Smile Award. _[looks at Leia] _You sleep with this under your _pillow_?

_Enter Vokara Che, shooing Luke and Han out._

_Exit Leia and Che._

Is Farfalla the smarmiest bloke you've ever met or what?

_Luke and Han head up for Revan Tower, when they hear something._

**Luke. **That's Jurokk.

**Han. **You don't think someone else has been attacked?

_Enter Jurokk._

**Jurokk. **. . . even more work for me! Mopping all night, like I haven't got enough to do! No! This is the final straw! I'm going to Yoda!

_ExIt Jurokk._

_Luke and Han walk over to where Jurokk was: the scene where 4-A7 was attacked._

_Luke and Han see a flood of water leading to Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

**Han. **_Now_ what's wrong with her?

**Luke. **Let's go and see.

_They enter Lorana's refresher._

_Enter Lorana._

**Lorana. **Who's that? Come to throw something else at me?

**Luke. **Why would I throw something at you?

**Lorana. **Don't ask me. Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me.

**Luke. **Well, it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it would go right through you.

_Lorana stands and glares angrily at Han._

**Lorana. **Sure, let's all throw books at Lorana because she can't feel it. Ten points if can get it through her stomach. Fifty points if you can get it through her head. A very funny game, I don't think.

**Luke. **Who threw it at you, anyway?

**Lorana. **I don't know. I didn't see them. I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death, when it fell through the top of my head. It's over there. It got washed out.

_Exit Lorana._

_Luke and Han see a crimson journal._

_Luke reaches to pick it up; Han stops him._

**Han. **Are you mad? It could be dangerous.

**Luke. **Dangerous? Come off it. How can it be dangerous?

**Han. **You'd be surprised. Just look at some the books the Republic has confiscated. Dad's told me. There was one that burned your eyes out. And everyone who read _Song of the Universe _spoke in limericks for the rest of their lives. And some old witch from Dathomir had a book that you could _never stop reading_. You just had to wander around with your nose in it, trying to do everything one-handed. And . . .

**Luke. **All right. I've got the point. Well, we won't find out unless we look at it.

_Luke picks up the journal, which reads _C.B. Palpatine_._

**Han. **Hang on. I know that name. C.B. Palpatine won a Corellian Bloodstripe fifty years ago.

**Luke. **How in the Force do you know that?

**Han. **Because Jurokk made me polish his shield about fifty time in detention. That was the one I burped slugs all over. If you'd wiped slime off a name for an hour, you'd remember it too.

**Luke. **_[looks through the journal] _He never wrote in it.

**Han. **I wonder why someone wanted to flush it.

_Luke sees that the journal is from Moenia, Naboo._

**Luke. **He must have been mundane-born to have bought a journal from Moenia. . . .

**Han. **Well, it's not much use to you. _[aside, to Luke] _Fifty points if you can get it through Lorana's nose.

_Luke pockets the journal._

_Luke and Han return to Revan Tower._

_Enter Leia._

_Luke shows the journal to Leia._

**Leia. **O! It might have hidden powers.

**Han. **If it has, it's hiding them very well. Maybe it's shy. I don't know why you don't chuck it, Luke.

**Luke. **I wish I knew why someone _did _try to chuck it. I wouldn't mind knowing how Palpatine got a Corellian Bloodstripe either.

**Han. **Could have been anything. Maybe he got thirty J.I.T.s or saved a Master from the colo claw fish. Maybe he murdered Lorana; that would have done everyone a favor.

_Luke and Leia exchange looks._

What?

**Leia. **Well, the Dark Temple was opened fifty years ago, wasn't it? That's what Marek said.

**Han. **Yeah.

**Leia. **And this journal is fifty years old.

**Han. **So?

**Leia. **O! Han. Wake up. We know the person who opened the Dark Temple last time was expelled _fifty years ago_. We know C.B. Palpatine got a Corellian Bloodstripe _fifty years ago_. Well, what if Palpatine got his Corellian Bloodstripe for _catching the Heir of Kun_? His journal would probably tell us everything: where the Temple is, how to open it, and what sort of creature lives in it. The person who's behind these attacks this time wouldn't want this journal's lying around, would they?

**Han. **That's a wonderful theory, Leia, with just one tiny flaw. _There's nothing written in his journal_.

**Leia. **_[removes his lightsaber] _It might be invisible ink.

_Leia taps the journal thrice; nothing happens._

_Leia retrieves a purple crystal._

It's a Force Crystal. I got it in Mos Eisley.

_She rubs hard on the first page._

**Han. **I'm telling you, there's nothing to find in there. Palpatine just got a journal for Life Day and didn't bother filling it in.

**Luke. **_[aside] _Despite this, I can't stop thinking about Palpatine. Why? I couldn't quite say. I'm sure I have never heard of Palpatine. Nevertheless, I am determined to find out more about Palpatine.

_Luke heads to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, with an interested Leia and a reluctant Han, to examine Palpatine's award._

**Leia. **_[frowns] _It doesn't even say why he got it.

**Han. **Good thing, too. Otherwise, I'd still be polishing it.

**Luke. **_[aside] _However, I do see his name on an old Republic Medal of Valor and on a list of old Head Boys.

**Han. **He sounds like Threepio. Prefect, Head Boy . . . probably top of every class . . .

**Leia. **_[sounding hurt] _You say that like it's a bad thing.

_Exit all._


	33. Valentine's Day

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Vokara Che and Jurokk._

**Che. **The bota are becoming moody and secretive, which means they're fast leaving childhood. But they've still got a bit of growing up to do. As soon as their acne clears up, we'll be able to chop them up and stew them. You'll have 4-A7 back in no time.

_Exit Che and Jurokk._

_Enter Luke._

**Luke. **_[aside] _Perhaps the Heir of Kun has lost his nerve. It must be getting riskier and riskier to open the Dark Temple, with the Jedi so alert and suspicious. Perhaps the monster, whatever it is, is even now settling itself down to hibernate for another fifty years.

_Enter Corran, Iella, and various other Suriks._

**Corran. **I told you. It was Skywalker. He gave himself away at the Dueling Academy, and now he's too afraid to act.

_Exit Suriks._

_Enter PROXY._

**PROXY. **_[singing] _O! Skywalker, you ralker . . .

_Exit PROXY._

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla and Mon Mothma._

**Farfalla. **I don't think there will be any more trouble, Mon. I think the Dark Temple has been locked for good this time. The culprit must have known it was only a matter of time before I caught him. Rather sensible to stop now, before I came down hard on him. You know, what the Temple needs now is a morale booster. Wash away memories of the last term! I won't say any more just now, but I think I know what I'm doing.

_Farfalla taps his nose._

_Exit Farfalla and Mothma._

_Luke enters the Great Hall._

_Luke stares around in shock at the lurid pink walls, heart-shaped confetti, and pale-blue ceiling._

_Enter Han and Leia, the latter overcome with giggles._

**Luke. **What's going on?

_Enter all Jedi, including Farfalla._

_Han points at Farfalla, standing out against his stony-faced colleagues._

**Farfalla. **Happy Valentine's Day! And may I think the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards. Yes. I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all. And it doesn't end here.

_Enter Melodies, dressed like love gods._

My friendly card-carrying Yun-Txiins! They'll be roving around the Temple today, delivering your valentines. And the fun doesn't stop here. I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion. Why not ask Lord Vader to show you how to whip up a Love Potion? And while you're at it, Governor Bibble knows more about Force Persuasion than any Force adept I've ever met, the sly old vornskr!

_Farfalla humiliates both Vader and Bibble. Vader reacts with rage. Bibble buries his face in his hands._

**Han. **Leia. Please, tell me you were not one of those forty-six.

_Leia doesn't answer._

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia, as they head for The Force class. Other students wander the halls around them._

_Enter Lyric, a Melodie with a fishlike tail._

**Lyric. **O! You! Luke Skywalker!

_Enter Mara and many other first years, who witness Lyric's cornering Luke._

I've got a musical message to deliver to Luke Skywalker in person.

**Luke. **_[tries to escape] _Not here.

**Lyric. **Stay _still_.

_Lyric grabs hold of Luke's bag._

**Luke. **Let go.

_The bag splits - all its contents fall onto the floor, the ink bottle splattering over everything else._

_Luke bends down to pick it all up._

_Enter Galen Marek and Threepio._

**Marek. **What's going on here?

**Threepio. **What's all this commotion?

**Lyric. **Right. Here's your singing valentine. _[singing] _His eyes are as blue as the cloudless sky. His hair is golden as a bronze sword. He's so divine. I wish he were mine, the hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

_Luke tries valiantly to laugh along with everyone else._

**Threepio. **Off you go. Off you go. The bell rang five minutes ago. Off to class now.

_Exit most Jedi, off for their classes._

_And _you, Marek . . .

_Marek picks up the journal and shows it to Evazan and Baba._

**Luke. **Give that back.

**Marek. **I wonder what Skywalker's written in this.

_Mara stares at the journal in shock._

**Threepio. **Hand it over, Marek.

**Marek. **When I've had a look . . .

**Threepio. **As Temple prefect . . .

**Luke. **_[removes lightsaber] _Disarm.

_The journal flies from Marek's hands and into Luke's._

**Threepio. **Luke. No use of the Force in the corridors. I'll have to report this.

**Marek. **_[to Mara] _I don't think Skywalker liked your poem much.

_Mara puts her head in her hands, still terrified by the sight of the journal._

_Han snarls and removes his lightsaber._

_Luke pulls Han away._

**Luke. **You don't need to spend the whole class, belching.

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter Bibble's class._

_Enter Sio Bibble and his second year class._

_Luke glances at the journal, which looks as if it had soaked up all the ink, sucking it into its insides._

_[aside] _It's as if it was never touched. What _is _this thing?

_Exit all._


	34. Palpatine

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, sitting at a desk with the journal._

_Enter Satele Shan, sitting across from him._

**Luke. **Do you mind?

_Exit Satele, storming off._

_Luke takes out a pen and writes in the journal._

_[as he writes] _My name is Luke Skywalker.

_The words vanish, replaced with the words of the Gatekeeper of Cosinga Palpatine._

**Gatekeeper. **Hello, Luke Skywalker. My name is Cosinga Palpatine. How did you come by my journal?

_The words fade away._

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _Somebody tried to flush it down the toilet.

**Gatekeeper. **It's lucky that I recorded my memories in some more lasting way than ink. But I always knew that there would be those who would not want this journal read.

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _What do you mean?

**Gatekeeper. **I mean that this journal holds memories of terrible things, things that were covered up . . . things that happened at the Jedi Temple.

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _That's where I am now. I'm at the Jedi Temple, and horrible stuff has been happening. Do you know anything about the Dark Temple?

**Gatekeeper. **Of course, I know about the Dark Temple. In my day, they told us it was a legend, that it did not exist. But this was a lie. In my fifth year, the Temple was opened and the monster attacked several students, finally killing one. I caught the person who opened the Temple and he was expelled. But the Grand Master Coven, ashamed that such a thing had happened at the Jedi Temple, forbade me to tell the truth. A story was given out that the girl died in a freak accident. They gave me a nice, shiny, engraved trophy for my trouble and warned me to keep my mouth shut. But I knew it could happen again. The monster lived on, and the one who had the power to release it was not imprisoned.

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _It's happening again now. There have been three attacks and no one seems to know who's behind them. Do you know who it was last time?

**Gatekeeper. **Yes.

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _Can you tell me?

**Gatekeeper. **No.

_Luke sits back, looking disappointed._

I can show you, if you like. You don't have to take my word for it. I can take you inside my memory of the night I caught him.

**Luke. **_[aside] _What does that mean? How can one be taken inside another's memory?

**Gatekeeper. **Let me take you back fifty years ago.

**Luke. **_[as he writes] _Okay.

_The pages flip to 13 June._

_Luke is sucked inside the journal, leaving modern-day Revan Tower._

_Luke reappears inside a 1940s-era Jedi Temple, standing inside Yoda's quarters - except it's not _Yoda's _quarters; there are no Force-sensitive objects, nor is there any sign of Vergere._

_Enter Fae Coven, a pink-skinned woman with gray hair and brown eyes._

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to butt in . . .

_Master Coven does not look up._

Er, I'll just go, shall I?

_Coven still does not reply._

_[raises his voice] _I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll go.

_Coven folds up her hololetter, sighs, stands up, and looks out the viewport._

_[aside] _Hold it. This is Fae Coven, a Grand Master preceding Yoda. This means that I must be but a phantom, invisible to those of fifty years ago.

_There is a knock on Coven's door._

**Coven. **Enter.

_Enter Cosinga Palpatine, a pale boy with red hair and cold blue eyes._

Ah, Palpatine.

**Palpatine. **You wanted to see me, Master Coven?

**Coven. **Sit down. I've just been reading the hololetter you sent me.

**Palpatine.** _[sits down] _Oh.

**Coven. **My dear boy. I cannot possibly let you stay at the Temple over the summer. Surely you want to go home for the holidays.

**Palpatine. **No. I'd much rather stay at the Temple than go back to that . . . to that . . .

**Coven. **You live in a mundane orphanage during the holidays, I believe?

**Palpatine. **Yes, sir.

**Coven. **You are mundane-born?

**Palpatine. **Near-human, sir. Mundane father, Force-sensitive mother.

**Coven. **And are both your parents . . . ?

**Palpatine. **Mother died just after I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage she lived just long enough to name me - Cosinga after my father, Bane after my grandfather.

**Coven. **_[sympathetic] _The thing is, Cosinga, special arrangements might have been made for you, but in the current circumstances . . .

**Palpatine. **You mean all these attacks, sir?

**Coven. **Precisely. My dear boy. You must see how foolish it would be of me to allow you to remain at the Temple when term ends . . . particularly in light of the recent tragedy, the death of that poor girl. You will be safer by far at your orphanage. As a matter of fact, the Republic is even now talking about closing the Temple. We are no nearer locating the . . . er . . . source of all this unpleasantness. . . .

**Palpatine. **_[eyes widen] _Sir. If it all stopped, if the person responsible was caught . . . ?

**Coven. **Cosinga. Is there something you wish to tell me?

**Palpatine. **No, sir. Nothing.

**Coven. **Very well, then. Off you go.

_Exit Coven._

_Palpatine leaves Coven's quarters._

_Palpatine returns to the Main Entrance._

_Enter Yoda, a green-skinned man with brown hair and trudactyl feet._

**Yoda. **Palpatine.

_Palpatine turns._

Come.

**Palpatine. **Master Yoda.

**Yoda. **It's not safe to be wandering around this late an hour, Cosinga.

**Palpatine. **Yes, Master. I just had to see for myself if the rumors were true.

**Yoda. **I'm afraid they are, Cosinga.

**Palpatine. **I know. I've just seen the Grand Master.

**Yoda. **Well, hurry off to bed.

_Exit Yoda._

_Palpatine steps down into the dungeons, headed for the Potions department._

_He stops at the end of a passage._

_Enter Chewbacca._

**Chewbacca. **Come on, Poggle. I've got to get you out of here. Come on now. In the box.

**Palpatine. **Evening, Chewbacca.

_Chewbacca slams the box shut and looks up._

**Chewbacca. **What are you doing down here, Cosinga?

**Palpatine. **It's over. I'm going to have to turn you in, Chewbacca. I don't think you meant it to kill anyone, but . . .

**Chewbacca. **You can't. You don't understand.

**Palpatine. **Chewbacca. The dead girl's parents will be here tomorrow. The least the Jedi can do is make sure the thing that killed their daughter is slaughtered.

**Chewbacca. **It wasn't him. Poggle never killed anyone. Never!

**Palpatine. **Monsters don't make good pets, Chewbacca. _[draws his lightsaber] _Stand aside.

**Chewbacca. **No!

**Palpatine. **Stand aside, Chewbacca.

_Using the Force, Palpatine forces the box open._

_Enter Poggle, an insectoid Geonosian - a species of giant arachne._

**Chewbacca. **No!

_Poggle scurries out of sight._

_Chewbacca leaps on top of Palpatine, allowing the Geonosian to get away._

Poggle! Poggle!

_Exit Poggle._

**Palpatine. **_[stands, lightsaber raised] _They'll have your lightsaber for this, Chewbacca. You'll be expelled.

**Luke. **Chewie! Chewie . . . !

_Exit Palpatine and Chewbacca._

_Luke returns to Revan Tower, sitting in front of the journal._

Whoa.

_Enter Han._

**Han. **There you are. What's up?

**Luke. **Han. It was Chewie. Chewie opened the Dark Temple fifty years ago.

_Exit all._


	35. New Classes

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Leia._

**Leia. **It can't be Chewie. It just can't be. Maybe Palpatine got the wrong person. Maybe it was some other monster that was attacking those people.

**Han. **How many monsters do you think this temple can hold?

**Luke. **We always knew Chewie had been expelled. And the attacks must have stopped after Chewie was kicked out. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gotten his reward.

**Han. **We don't even know this Palpatine. He sounds like a dirty rotten snitch to me. Who asked him to squeal on Chewie?

**Leia. **The monster had _killed _someone, Han. What would any of us have done?

**Han. **You met Chewie on Nar Shaddaa, didn't you, Luke?

**Luke. **He was buying flesh-eating bacterium repellent.

**Leia. **Chewie's our friend. Why don't we just go and ask him about it?

**Han. **Sure. That'd be a cheerful visit. "Hello, Chewie. Tell us. Have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the Temple lately?"

**Luke. **The Bota Draught is almost ready. The attacks have stopped. There's no need to talk to Chewie unless there's another attack.

**Both. **Agreed.

_Luke, Han, and Leia enter the Temple._

_Pinned to the notice board is a sign-up sheet for the second years: the subjects they will take in their third year._

**Leia. **It could affect our whole future.

**Luke. **I just want to give up Potions.

**Han. **We can't. We keep all our old subject, or I'd have ditched Defense Against the Dark Side.

**Leia. **_[shocked] _But that's really important.

**Han. **Not the way Farfalla teaches it. I haven't learned anything from him except not to set Vagaari loose.

_Enter Wedge, who has sent hololetters to his family, receiving conflicting advice in return._

**Wedge. **Do you think Precognition is more difficult than the Study of Force Comprehension?

_Enter Lando, who just chooses one at random._

_Leia signs up for everything._

_Enter Threepio._

**Threepio. **It depends where you want to _go_, Luke. It's never too early to think about the future, so I'd recommend Divination. Beings say Mundane Studies is a soft option, but I personally think Force adepts should have a thorough understanding of our mundane neighbors, particularly if they're thinking of working in close contact with them. Look at my father. He has to deal with mundane business all the time. My brother Malakili was always more an outdoor type, so he went for Animal Friendship. Play to your strengths, Luke.

_Luke signs up for the same things as Han._

**Luke. **If I'm lousy at them, at least I'll have someone friendly to help me.

_Exit all._


	36. Mara's Theft

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, after Smashball practice._

_Enter Wedge, looking panicked._

**Wedge. **Luke. I don't know who did it. But you'd better come.

_Luke follows Wedge into the boys' dormitories._

_Luke sees his things spread around the room - books torn, everything thrown about._

_Enter Han, Lando, and Nien._

**Lando. **Emperor's black bones! What happened, Luke?

**Luke. **No idea.

**Han. **Whoever it was, they must have been looking for something.

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han] _And they found it. Palpatine's journal is gone.

**Han. **_What_?

_Exit Wedge, Lando, and Nien._

_Enter Leia._

**Leia.** _[after Luke and Han explain] _It had to be a Revan. Nobody else knows our password.

**Luke. **Exactly.

_Exit all._


	37. Morichro

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, Leia, Tycho, and other Revans, eating in the Great Hall._

**Tycho. **Perfect Smashball conditions! Luke. Buck up there. You need a decent breakfast.

**Luke. **_[aside] _How can I with this missing journal hanging over my head?

_Exit all but Luke, Han, and Leia._

_Enter Dragonsnake, unseen._

**Dragonsnake. **Kill this time. Let me rip, tear.

**Luke. **O! The voice! I just heard it again, didn't you?

_Han shakes his head._

_Leia claps her hand to her forehead._

**Leia. **Luke. I think I've just understood something. I've got to go to the Archives.

_Exit Leia._

**Luke. **_What _does she understand?

**Han. **_[shrugs] _Loads more than I do.

**Luke. **But why does she have to go to the Archives?

**Han. **Because that's what Leia does; when in doubt, go to the Archives.

_Luke listens for the dragonsnake, but it does sound again._

You'd better get going. It's nearly eleven . . . the match . . .

_Exit Han._

_Luke races up to Revan Tower, grabs his X-wing, and rushes outside._

_Enter Tycho, Jacen, Ben, Tenel Ka, Lowbacca, and Tahiri._

**Tycho. **Listen up now. We play our game, Surik doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker, and smarter.

**Jacen. **Not to mention, they're dead scared Luke will _Morichro _them, if they fly anywhere near him.

**Tycho. **_[smiles] _That too.

_The Revans kick off the ground and fly into the sky, the Suriks right across from them._

_Enter Mon Mothma._

**Mothma. **_[into megaphone] _This match has been cancelled.

_Tycho lands and walks over to Mothma._

**Tycho. **Senator Mothma. You can't cancel Smashball. We've got to play, the match . . .

**Mothma. **Silence, Celchu. _[into megaphone] _All students are to make their way back to the House common rooms, where their Heads of House will give them further information. As quickly as you can, please.

_Exit all but Luke and Mothma._

Skywalker. I think you'd better come with me.

_Enter Han._

Yes. Perhaps you'd better come, too, Solo.

_Luke, Han, and Mothma enter the Jedi Temple medcenter._

This will be a wee bit of a shock. There has been another attack, another _double _attack.

_Enter Vokara Che, bending over two unconscious patients - Tece Fortine and Leia Organa, both _Morichro_-ed._

**Han. **_Leia_.

**Mothma. **_[picks up a mirror] _They were found near the Archives, along with this. Does this mean anything to either of you?

_Luke and Han shake their heads, both staring at Leia._

I will escort you back to Revan Tower. I need to address the students in any case.

_Luke, Han, and Mothma enter Revan Tower._

_Enter all Revans._

All students will return to their House common rooms by eighteen hundred hours every evening. You will be escorted to each lesson by a Master. No student is to use the refresher unaccompanied by a Master. All further Smashball training and matches are to be postponed. There will be no more evening activities. No exceptions.

_Mothma looks up from her roll of durasheet._

I need hardly add that I have rarely been so distressed. Unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught, it is likely the Temple will be closed. I would urge anyone who thinks they might know anything about them to come forward.

_Exit Mothma._

**Janson. **That's two Revans down, including a Revan ghost, one Shan, and one Surik. Haven't _any _of the Masters noticed that the Kuns are all safe? Isn't it _obvious _all this stuff's coming from Kun? The _Heir _of Kun, the _monster _of Kun - why don't they just chuck all the Kuns out?

_Most Revans applaud and nod in agreement._

_However, Threepio is more subdued than ever._

**Ben. **_[to Luke] _Threepio's in shock. The Shan girl, Tece Fortine . . . she's a prefect. I don't think he thought the monster would dare attack a _prefect_.

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke] _What do we do? Do you think they suspect Chewie?

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han] _We've got to go and talk to him. I can't believe it's him. But if he _did _set the monster loose last time, he'll know how to get inside the Dark Temple. That's a start.

**Han. **_[aside, to Luke] _But you heard Mothma. We're not supposed to leave the Tower, except for class.

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han] _I think it's time to get my father's old cloak out again.

_Exit all._


	38. Finis Valorum

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, invisibly wandering the halls._

_Enter Darth Vader, patrolling the corridors._

_Han stubs his toe._

**Han. **Sithspit!

_Vader sneezes, drowning Han out._

_Exit Vader._

_Luke and Han leave the Jedi Temple, sighing with relief._

_Luke and Han arrive at Chewbacca's wroshyr treehouse._

_Enter Chewbacca and Drang._

_Chewbacca holds his bowcaster out at them._

**Chewbacca. **Who's there?

_Luke and Han remove the cloaking device._

O! What are you two doing here?

**Luke. **What's that for?

**Chewbacca. **_[lowers bowcaster] _Nothing, nothing. I've been expecting . . . It doesn't matter. Come on in. I'll make tea.

_Luke and Han enter Chewbacca's house._

_Chewbacca shuts the door._

_Chewbacca's hand shakes nervously as he pours the tea, smashing the tea kettle by accident._

**Luke. **Are you all right, Chewie? Did you hear about Leia?

**Chewbacca. **_[voice breaks] _Oh, I heard about that, all right.

_There is a knock on the door._

The cloak! Get the cloak on.

_Luke and Han pull the cloaking device on._

_Chewbacca opens the door._

_Enter Yoda and Finis Valorum, a white-haired man in blue robes._

**Yoda. **Good evening, Chewbacca.

**Han. **_[whispers] _That's Dad's boss. Finis Valorum, the Supreme Chancellor.

_Luke elbows him._

_Chewbacca, pale and sweaty, backs up._

**Valorum. **Bad business, Chewbacca, very bad business. I had to come. Four attacks on mundane-borns. Things have gone far enough. The Republic has got to act.

**Chewbacca. **But I never . . . _[glances at Yoda] _You know I never, Master.

**Yoda. **_[frowns] _I want it understood, Finis, that Chewbacca has my full confidence.

**Valorum. **Yoda. Chewbacca's record is against him. I've got to take him.

**Yoda. **_[green eyes blazing] _Yet again, Finis, I tell you that taking Chewbacca away will not help you in the slightest.

**Valorum. **Look at it from my point of view. I'm under a lot of pressure. I've got to be seen doing something. If it turns out it wasn't Chewbacca, he'll be back and no more said. But I've got to take him. I wouldn't be doing my duty . . .

**Chewbacca. **Take me? Take me where?

**Valorum.** _[avoiding Chewbacca's eyes] _For a short stretch only. Not a punishment, Chewbacca, more a precaution. If someone else is caught, you'll be let out with a full apology. . . .

**Chewbacca. **_[terrified] _Not Kessel?

_There is another knock on the door._

_Yoda opens the door._

_Enter Dooku._

**Luke. **O!

_Han elbows him._

**Drang. **_[growls]_

**Dooku. **Already here, Valorum? Good.

**Chewbacca. **What are _you_ doing here? Get out of my house!

**Dooku.** My dear man. I have no pleasure being inside your . . . do you call this a house? I merely called up to the Temple and was told the Grand Master was here.

**Yoda. **And what exactly is it that you want with me, Dooku?

**Dooku. **_[takes out a scroll of durasheet] _Dreadful thing, Yoda. But the Council feels it's time for you to step aside. This is an Order Sixty-Five. You'll find all twelve signatures on it. I'm afraid we feel you've lost your touch. With all these attacks, there will be no mundane-borns left at the Jedi Temple. And we all know what an _awful _loss that would be to the Temple.

**Valorum. **Now see here, Dooku. Yoda suspended? No, no. That's the last thing we want just now.

**Dooku. **The appointment or suspension of the Grand Master is a matter for the Jedi High Council, Valorum. And as Yoda has failed to stop these attacks . . .

**Valorum. **See here, Marek, if _Yoda_ can't stop them . . . I mean to say, who can?

**Dooku. **That remains to be seen. But as all twelve of us have voted . . .

**Chewbacca. **And how many did you have to threaten and blackmail before they agreed, Marek, eh?

**Dooku. **Dear, dear. You know, that temper of yours will lead you into trouble one of these days, Chewbacca. I would advise you not to shout at the Tuskens like that. They wouldn't like it at all.

**Chewbacca. **You can't take Yoda away. Take him away, and the mundane-borns won't stand a chance. You mark my words - there will be killings next.

**Yoda. **Calm yourself, Chewbacca. If the Council desires my removal, I shall of course step aside.

**Valorum. **But . . .

**Chewbacca. **No!

_Yoda's green eyes blaze with an inner fury not expressed in his tone. He looks into Dooku's cold brown ones._

**Yoda. **However, you will find that I will only have truly left the Temple when none here are loyal to me. Help will always be given at the Temple to those who ask for it.

_Yoda's eyes impressively seem to find Luke and Han._

**Dooku. **Admirable sentiments. We shall all miss your . . . ah . . . highly individual way of running things, Yoda, and only hope your successor will manage to prevent any . . . ah . . . _killings_.

_Exit Yoda and Dooku._

**Chewbacca. **_[takes a deep breath] _If anyone wanted to find out some _stuff_, then all they'd have to do would be to follow the _arachnes_. That would lead them right. That's all I'm saying.

_Valorum stares at him._

All right. I'm coming. _[to Luke and Han] _And somebody will have to feed Drang while I'm away.

_Exit Valorum and Chewbacca._

_Luke and Han remove the cloaking device._

**Han. **Chewie's right. With Yoda gone, there will be an attack a day.

**Drang. **_[howls]_

_Exit all._


	39. Corran's Apology

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, walking to the medcenter to visit Leia._

_Enter Vokara Che, peering through the crack in the door._

**Che. **We're taking no more chances. I'm sorry. But there's every chance the attacker might come back and finish off these people.

_Exit Che._

**Luke. **_[aside] _Summer approaches, but with no Chewie wandering the grounds with Drang at his heels, it's quite hard to feel happy. And with Yoda gone, fear has spread as never before. There is hardly a face to be seen in the Temple that does not look worried and tense, and any laughter that rings through the corridors sounds shrill and unnatural and quickly stifled. I constantly remember Yoda's final words: "I will only have truly left the Temple when none here are loyal to me. Help will always be given at the Temple to those who ask for it." But what good are these words? Who exactly are we supposed to ask for help, when everyone is just as confused and scared as we are? Chewie's hint about the arachnes is far easier to understand. But we've hit a snag. Han and I have looked everywhere, and there doesn't seem to be a single arachne in sight. Strange.

_Luke and Han enter the Potions dungeon._

_Enter Darth Vader and his second year Revan and Kun class (minus Leia)._

**Marek. **I always thought Father would be the one to get rid of Yoda. I told you I think he's the worst Grand Master the Temple's ever had. Maybe we'll get a decent Grand Master now, someone who won't _want_ the Dark Temple closed. Mothma won't last long. She's only filling in.

_Vader walks past._

Sir. Why don't _you _apply for the Grand Master's job?

**Vader. **Now, now, Marek. Master Yoda has only been suspended by the Council. I daresay he'll be back with us soon enough.

**Marek. **Yeah, right. I expect you'd have Father's vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job. _I'll _tell Father you're the best Master here, sir.

_Vader smirks and walks away._

I'm quite surprised the infidels haven't all packed their bags by now. I bet you five dataries the next one dies. Pity it wasn't Organa.

_Han prepares to attack Marek; Luke and Lando hold him back._

_The bell rings._

**Han. **Let me at him. I don't care. I don't need my lightsaber. I'm going to kill him with my bare hands.

**Vader. **Hurry up. I've got to take you all to Living Force.

_Exit Kuns._

_Vader leads the Revans to the greenhouses._

_Exit Vader._

_The Revans and the Suriks work with Kashyyyk Syrens._

_Enter Corran._

**Corran. **I just wanted to say, Luke, that I'm sorry I ever suspected you. I know you'd never attack Leia Organa, and I apologize for all the stuff I said. We're all in the same escape pod now, and, well . . .

_Luke and Corran shake hands._

_Enter Iella._

_Corran and Iella work on the same Syren as Luke and Han._

That Galen Marek character - he seems very pleasant about all this, doesn't he? Do you know, I think _he _might be Kun's heir.

**Han. **_[sardonic] _That's clever of you.

**Corran. **Do you think it's Marek, Luke?

**Luke. **No.

_Corran and Iella stare._

_Enter Arachnes, moving._

_Luke hits Han._

**Han. **O! What are you . . . ?

_Luke points._

Oh, yeah. But we can't follow them now . . .

_Corran and Iella stare curiously._

**Luke. **It looks like they're headed for the forest moon of Endor.

_Yaddle escorts the Revans to Defense Against the Dark Side._

_Luke and Han lag behind._

We'll have to use the cloaking device again. We'll take Drang with us. He's used to going into the forest with Chewie. He might be some help.

**Han. **Right.

_Exit Yaddle and the Suriks._

_They seat at the back of Farfalla's classroom._

Er, aren't there . . . aren't there supposed to be Shistavanens in the forest?

**Luke. **There are good things in there, too. The Ewoks are all right, and the tauntauns . . .

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla._

**Farfalla. **Come now. Why all these long faces?

_The class exchanges exasperated looks._

Don't you people realize the danger has passed? The culprit has been taken away.

**Lando. **Says who?

**Farfalla. **My dear young man. The Supreme Chancellor wouldn't have taken Chewbacca if he hadn't been one hundred percent sure that he was guilty.

**Han. **Oh, yes he would.

**Farfalla. **I flatter myself I know a _touch _more about Chewbacca's arrest than you do, Master Solo.

_Han opens his mouth, but Luke stops him._

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han] _We weren't there, remember?

_Luke slips Han a holomessage._

**Message. **Let's do it tonight.

_Han gulps, then glances at Leia's empty seat, and nods._

_Exit all._


	40. Poggle the Lesser

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, wandering invisibly outside._

**Han. **Of course, we might get to the forest and find there's nothing to follow. Those arachnes might not have been going there at all. I know it looked like they were moving in that sort of general direction, but . . .

_Luke and Han enter Chewbacca's wroshyr treehouse and remove the cloaking device._

_Enter Drang, barking with joy at the sight of them._

**Luke. **Come on, Drang. We're going for a walk.

_Luke, Han, and Drang leave the wroshyr treehouse._

_Luke removes his lightsaber and creates a ball of light with the Force._

**Han. **Good thinking. I'd light mine, too. But you know, it's probably blow up or something.

_Luke points to the arachnes._

Okay. I'm ready. Let's go.

_Luke, Han, and Drang enter the forest moon of Endor._

_Luke, Han, and Drang follow the arachnes along the trail._

_Enter YT-1300, hidden by the shadows._

**Drang. **_[barks]_

_Luke and Han jump back._

**Han. **What?

**Luke. **There's something moving over there, something big.

**Han. **Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. O!

**Luke. **Shut up. It will hear you.

**Han. **Hear _me_? It's already heard Drang.

**Luke. **What do you think it's doing?

**Han. **Probably getting ready to pounce.

_Luke and Han shiver, hardly daring to move._

**Luke. **Do you think it's gone?

**Han. **I don't know.

_The lights of the Corellian freighter blaze._

_Drang yelps and tries to run._

Luke. Luke, it's our ship.

_Luke sees that it is indeed Jonash Solo's YT-1300 freighter._

She's been here all the time. The forest has turned her wild. And we thought she was going to attack us! I wondered where she had gone.

**Luke. **Come on. We don't want to lose the trail.

_Exit YT-1300._

_Enter Sun Fac, Hadiss the Vaulted, and Gorgol - three Geonosian servants of Poggle the Lesser._

_Sun Fac, Hadiss, and Gorgol grab Luke, Han, and Drang respectively._

_The Geonosians carry them away._

_The enter the catacombs of the Geonosian leadership._

_Enter Poggle the Lesser._

_The Geonosians drop the trio in front of Poggle._

**Sun Fac. **Poggle. Poggle.

**Poggle. **What is it?

**Sun Fac. **Men.

**Poggle. **Is it Chewbacca?

**Hadiss. **Strangers.

**Poggle. **Kill them. I was sleeping.

**Luke. **We're friends of Chewbacca's.

**Poggle. **Chewbacca has never sent men into our catacombs before.

**Luke. **Chewie's in trouble. That's why we've come.

**Poggle. **In trouble? But why has he sent you?

**Luke. **Up at the Temple, there have been attacks. They think it's Chewie. They've taken him to Kessel.

**Poggle. **But that was years ago, years and years ago. I remember it well. That's why they made him leave the Temple. They believed that _I _was the monster that dwells in the Temple of Exar Kun. They thought that Chewbacca had opened the Dark Temple and set me free.

**Luke. **Then you're not the monster?

**Poggle. **The monster was born in the Temple. I came to Chewbacca from a distant system in the pocket of a traveler. When I was accused, Chewbacca brought me here. I have lived here ever since, where Chewbacca still visits me. He even found me a wife, Karina the Great, and you see how our family has grown, all through Chewbacca's goodness.

**Luke. **So you never . . . never attacked anyone?

**Poggle. **Never. It would have been my instinct, but out of respect for Chewbacca, I never harmed a human. The girl was discovered in a refresher. I never saw any part of the Temple but the box in which Chewbacca kept me. Our kind like the dark and the quiet . . .

**Luke. **Then what did kill that girl fifty years ago?

**Poggle. **We do not speak of it. It is an ancient creature we Geonosians fear above all others. Well do I remember how I pleaded with Chewbacca to let me go, when I sensed the beast's moving about the Temple.

**Luke. **Well, thank you. We'll just go.

**Poggle. **Go? I think not. My sons and daughters will not harm Chewbacca on my command. But I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst. Good-bye, friend of Chewbacca.

_Geonosians surround Luke, Han, and Drang, preparing to attack._

**Han. **Know any spells?

**Luke. **One. But it's not powerful enough for all of them.

**Han. **Where's Leia when you need her?

_Enter YT-1300._

_She screeches to a halt in front of Luke and Han; the doors fly open._

**Luke. **_[dives into the co-pilot's chair] _Get Drang.

_Han throws the vornskr into the freighter._

_Han gets into the pilot's chair._

_The YT-1300 flies into the sky._

_Exit Geonosians._

_The freighter does not stop until she leaves the forest moon._

_Luke, Han, and Drang leave the ship._

_Exit YT-1300, back into the forest._

_Luke and Drang run back into Chewbacca's wroshyr treehouse._

_Luke returns outside with the cloaking device._

**Han. **Follow the arachnes. Follow the arachnes. If Chewie ever gets out of Kessel, I'll kill him. We're lucky to be alive.

**Luke. **I bet he thought Poggle wouldn't hurt friends of his.

**Han. **That's exactly Chewie's problem. He always thinks monsters aren't as bad as they're made out. And look where it's got him - a cell on Kessel! What was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out?

**Luke. **We know one thing. Chewie never opened the Dark Temple. He was innocent.

_Han snorts derisively._

_Luke and Han get back under the cloaking device._

_Invisbly, Luke and Han return to Revan Tower._

_Han goes straight to bed._

_Luke lays awake, thinking._

_[aside] _The monster of Exar Kun sounds like a sort of non-sentient Sidious. Even other monsters don't want to name it. But we're no closer to figuring out what it is or how it uses _Morichro _against its victims. Even Chewie never knew what was in the Dark Temple. What else is there to do? We're hitting dead ends everywhere. Palpatine caught the wrong person, the Heir of Kun got away, and it's unclear whether or not it's the same person who has opened the Temple this time. There's nobody to ask.

_Luke wakes up Han._

_[to Han] _Han. Remember what Poggle said about that girl fifty years ago? She died in a refresher. What if she never left?

**Both. **Lorana Jinzler.

_Exit all._


	41. Exams

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, in the Great Hall._

**Han. **All those times we were in that refresher and we could have asked her, and now . . .

_Luke and Han enter the Jedi Sorcery classroom._

_Enter Mon Mothma and her second year class._

**Mothma. **Exams will start on first of June, one week from today.

**Nien. **_Exams_? We're still getting _exams_?

_Wedge's lightsaber slips, vanishing one of the legs of his table._

_Mothma restores the leg with a wave of her lightsaber._

**Mothma. **_[frowning at Nien] _The whole point of keeping the Temple open at this time is for you to receive your education. The exams will therefore take place as usual, and I trust you are all studying hard.

_The class mutters mutinously, shocked by this turn of events._

Master Yoda's instructions were to keep the Temple running as normally as possible. And that, I need hardly point out, means finding out how much you have learned this year.

**Han. **_[holds out his lightsaber, to Luke] _Can you imagine my taking exams with this?

_Exit all._


	42. Mara's Warning

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, in the Great Hall._

_Enter Mon Mothma._

**Mothma. **I have good news.

**All. **Yoda's coming back!

**Talia. **You've caught the Heir of Kun!

**Tycho. **Smashball matches are back on!

**Mothma. **Master Yaddle has informed me that the bota are ready for cutting at last. Tonight, we will be able to revive those who have been _Morichro_-ed. I need hardly remind you all that one of them may well be able to tell us who or what attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our capturing the culprit.

_All cheer._

**Han. **It won't matter that we never asked Lorana, then. Leia will probably have all the answers when they wake her up. Mind you, she'll go crazy when she finds out we've got exams in three days' time. She hasn't studied. It might be kinder to leave her where she is until they're over.

_Enter Mara._

What's up?

_Mara glances around nervously, unconsciously imitating Jar Jar._

Spit it out.

**Mara. **I've got to tell you something.

**Luke. **What is it?

**Han. **What?

_Mara opens her mouth, but no sound comes out._

**Luke. **_[aside, to Han and Mara] _Is it something about the Dark Temple? Have you seen something, someone acting oddly?

_Mara breathes in deeply._

_Enter Threepio._

**Threepio. **If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Mara. I'm starving. I've only just come off patrol duty.

_Mara gives Threepio a frightened look and scurries off._

_Exit Mara._

**Han. **_[angry] _Threepio. She was just about to tell us something important.

**Threepio. **_[chokes] _What sort of thing?

**Han. **I just asked her if she'd seen anything odd, and she started to say . . .

**Threepio. **O! That . . . that's nothing to do with the Dark Temple.

**Han. **_[eyebrows raised] _How do you know?

**Threepio. **Well, er, if you must know, Mara, er, walked in on me the other day when I was . . . well, never mind. The point is, she spotted me doing something, and I, er, I asked her not to mention it to anybody. I must say, I did think she'd keep her word. It's nothing, really. I'd just rather . . .

**Han. **_[grinning] _What were you doing, Threepio? Go on. Tell us. We won't laugh.

**Threepio. **Pass me those rolls, Luke. I'm starving.

_Exit all._


	43. Missing

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, among the other Revans being led to Galactic History by Valenthyne Farfalla._

**Farfalla. **Mark my words. The first words out of those poor _Morichro_-ed beings' mouths will be "It was Chewbacca." Frankly, I'm astounded Senator Mothma thinks all these security measure are necessay.

**Luke. **I agree, sir.

_Han drops his books in surprise._

**Farfalla. **Thank you, Luke. I mean, we Masters have quite enough to be getting on with, without walking students to classes and standing guard all night. . . .

**Han. **That's right. Why don't you leave us here, sir? We've only got one more corridor to go . . .

**Farfalla. **You know, Solo, I think I will. I really should go and plan my next class . . .

_Exit Farfalla._

**Han. **Prepare his class. Gone to curl his hair, more like.

_Luke and Han head for Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

_Enter Mon Mothma._

**Mothma. **Skywalker. Solo. What are you doing?

**Han. **We were . . . we were . . . we were going to . . . to go and see . . .

**Luke. **Leia. We haven't seen her for ages, Senator. And we thought we'd sneak into the medcenter, you know, and tell her the bota are nearly ready and, er, not to worry.

**Mothma. **_[voice croaks with emotion] _Of course. Of course, I realize this has all been hardest on the friends of those who have been . . . I quite understand. Yes, Skywalker, of course you may visit Miss Organa. I shall inform Master Baas where you've gone. Tell Master Che I have given my permission.

_Exit Mothma._

**Han. **That was the best story you've ever come up with.

_Luke and Han enter the medcenter._

_Enter Vokara Che, who reluctantly lets them in._

**Che. **There's just no _point _talking to a _Morichro_-ed person.

_Luke and Han sit beside Leia's bed._

**Luke. **I wish you were here, Leia. We need you . . . now, more than ever.

_Luke sees something clenched in Leia's fist; he points it out to Han._

**Han. **Try and get it out.

_Luke removes a piece of durasheet from Leia's hand, torn from a book from the Jedi Archives._

**Luke. **_[reading] _Of the many fearsome beasts that roam the galaxy, none is more deadly than the dragonsnake. Capable of living fpr hundreds of years, instant death awaits any who meet this giant serpent's eye. Arachnes flee before it and only the crowing of the avril is fatal to it. _[to Han] _Han. This is it. The monster in the Dark Temple is a _dragonsnake_. That's why I can hear it speak; it's a snake.

**Han. **But if it kills by looking people in the eye, why is it no one's dead?

**Luke. **Because no one did look it in the eye - not directly, at least. Dak saw it through his holocam. Ooryl . . . Ooryl must have seen it through Canderous Ordo. Canderous got full blast of it. But he's a ghost; he couldn't die again. And Leia and that Shan prefect had the mirror. I bet you anything they were using it to look around corners in case it came along. She must have warned the first person she met to look around corners with a mirror first.

**Han. **And 4-A7? I don't think he had a holocam or a mirror, Luke.

**Luke. **The water. There was water on the floor that night. He only saw the dragonsnake's reflection. _[scans the page] _The crowing of the avril is fatal to it. That's why Chewie's avrils were killed. The Heir of Kun didn't want one anywhere near the Temple once the Dark Temple was open. "Arachnes flee before it." It all fits.

**Han. **But how is it getting around? A dirty great snake - someone would have seen it.

**Luke. **Leia's already answered that one.

_Luke points to Leia's handwriting at the bottom._

**Han. **"Pipes?" It's using the plumbing.

**Luke. **That's why I've been hearing its voice in the walls.

**Han. **_[grabs Luke's arm] _Luke. The entrance to the Dark Temple! What if it's in a refresher? What if it's in . . .

**Both. **Lorana Jinzler's refresher!

**Luke. **This means I can't be the only Yuuzhan Vong in the Temple. The Heir of Kun is one, too. That's how he's been controlling the dragonsnake.

**Han. **What are we going to do? Should we go straight to Mothma?

**Luke. **Let's go to the High Council Chambers. She'll be there in ten minutes. It's nearly break.

_Luke and Han leave the medcenter._

_Luke and Han enter the High Council Chambers._

**Mothma. **_[into megaphone, unseen] _All students are to return to their House dormitories at once. All Masters return to the High Council Chambers immediately.

**Luke. **Not another attack? Not now?

**Han. **What will we do? Go back to the dormitory?

**Luke. **No. _[glances at the wardrobe] _In here. Let's hear what this is all about. Then we can tell them what we've found out.

_Luke and Han step into the wardrobe._

_Enter Mon Mothma, Yaddle, Sio Bibble, Darth Vader, Garven Dreis, Vokara Che, Vodo-Siosk Baas, Roan Shryne, Djinn Altis, Jurokk, and Sifo-Dyas._

**Mothma. **It has happened. Our worst fears have been realized. A student has been taken by the monster into the Dark Temple itself.

**Bibble. **_[squeals]_

_Yaddle claps her hand over her mouth._

**Vader. **_[grips chair] _How can you be sure?

**Mothma. **The Heir of Kun has left another message. "Her skeleton will lie in the Dark Temple forever."

**Dreis. **_[sinks into a chair] _Who is it the monster's taken, Mon?

**Mothma. **Mara Solo.

_Han slides to the bottom of the wardrobe._

I'm afraid we shall have to send the students home. This will be the end of the Jedi.

_Enter Valenthyne Farfalla._

**Farfalla. **I'm so sorry. Dozed off. What have I missed?

**Vader. **_[coldly] _Just the man. A girl has been by the monster, Farfalla. Your moment has come at last.

**Farfalla. **_[stammers] _My m-moment?

**Yaddle. **That's right, Valenthyne. Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Dark Temple is?

**Farfalla. **I . . . well, I . . .

**Bibble. **Yes. Didn't you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?

**Farfalla. **D-did I? I don't recall . . .

**Vader. **I certainly remember your saying you were sorry you hadn't had a crack at the monster before Chewbacca was arrested. Didn't you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given free rein from the start?

**Farfalla. **I . . . I really never . . . You may have misunderstood . . .

**Mothma. **That settles it. We'll leave you to deal with the monster, Valenthyne. Your skills, after all, are legend.

_Farfalla glances around at everyone, looking for a helping hand; none come._

**Farfalla. **_[sighs] _V-very well. I'll . . . I'll be in my quarters, getting . . . getting ready.

_Exit Farfalla._

**Mothma. **Right. That's gotten _him _out of the way. The Heads of House should go and inform their students what has happened. Tell them the Jedi Cruiser will take them home first thing tomorrow. Will the rest of you please make sure no students have been left outside their dormitories.

_Exit all._


	44. The Life and Lies of Valenthyne Farfalla

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Han, in Revan Tower._

**Han. **She knew something, Luke. That's why she was taken. It wasn't some stupid thing about Threepio at all. She'd found something out about the Dark Temple. That must be why . . . I mean, she was a Pureblood. There can't be any other reason. Luke. Do you think there's any chance at all that Mara's not . . . you know . . . Do you know what? I think we should go and see Farfalla. He may be useless, but he'd going to try and get in the Dark Temple. At least we can tell him what we know.

_Luke and Han leave Revan Tower and approach Farfalla's quarters._

_Luke knocks on the door._

**Luke. **_[stepping in] _Master. We have some information for you.

_Luke sees that Farfalla's quarters are a mess - robes and books are folded in suitcases and his self-portraits are stuffed in boxes._

Are you going somewhere?

**Farfalla. **Er, well, yes. Urgent call, unavoidable. Got to go.

**Han. **What about my sister?

**Farfalla. **Well, as to that . . . most unfortunate . . . Nobody regrets more than I . . .

**Luke. **You're the Defense Against the Dark Side, Master. You can't go now.

**Farfalla. **Well, I must say, when I took the job, there was nothing in the job description . . .

**Luke. **You're _running away_? After all that stuff you did in your books?

**Farfalla. **Books can be misleading.

**Luke. **You wrote them.

**Farfalla. **My dear boy. Do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold halfas well, if people didn't think _I'd _done all those things. No one wants to read about some ugly old Eriaduan, even if he did save a village from wolfmen. He'd look dreadful on the front cover. No dress sense at all. And the woman who got rid of the Umbaran Banshee had a hairy chin. I mean, come on . . .

**Luke. **You're a fraud. You've just been taking credit for what other Force adepts have done.

**Farfalla. **Luke. Luke. It's not as simple as all that. There was work involved. I had to track these people down, ask them how exactly they did what they did. Then I had to rub their memories, so they wouldn't remember doing it. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my memory rubs. It's been a lot of work, Luke. It's not all book signings and publicity holos, you know. If you want fame, you've got to be prepared for a long hard slog.

_Farfalla finishes packing._

Let's see. I think that's everything. Yes. Only one thing left.

_Farfalla removes his lightsaber and turns on Luke and Han._

Awfully sorry, boys, but I'll have to use a memory rub on you now. I can't have you blabbing my secrets all over the place. I'd never sell another book.

**Luke. **_[removes his lightsaber] _Disarm.

_Using the Force, Luke sends Farfalla's lightsaber flying out of his hand and into Han's._

_Han throws the lightsaber out the window._

_[furious] _Shouldn't have let Lord Vader teach us that.

_Luke kicks Farfalla's trunk aside and points his lightsaber at Farfalla._

**Farfalla. **What do you want me to do? I don't know where the Dark Temple is. There's nothing I can do.

**Luke. **You're in luck. We think _we_ know where it is. _And _what's inside it. Let's go.

_Exit all._


	45. The Dark Temple

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, and Farfalla, in Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

_Enter Lorana._

**Lorana. **Who's there? _[sees Luke] _Oh, it's you. What do you want this time?

**Luke. **To ask you how you died.

**Lorana. **_[flattered] _Oh, it was dreadful. It happened right here in this very stall. I'd hidden because Jenna Zan Arbor was teasing me about my spectacles. I was crying, and then I heard someone come in.

**Luke. **Who was it, Lorana?

**Lorana. **I don't know. I was distraught. They said something funny, a different language. But I realized it was a boy, speaking. So I unlocked the door to tell him to go away, and . . . I died.

**Luke. **Just like that? How?

**Lorana. **No idea. I just remember seeing a great pair of scarlet eyes over there by that sink. My whole body sort of seized up, and then I was floating away. And then I came back again. I was determined to haunt Jenna Zan Arbor, you see. Oh, she was sorry I'd ever laughed at my spectacles.

_Luke and Han approach the sink._

_Farfalla stands back, looking terrified._

**Luke. **This is it, Han. This is the entrance to the Dark Temple.

_Luke and Han examine the sink._

_Luke sees a metal serpent carved into one of the taps; he tries to turn it._

**Lorana. **That tap's never worked.

**Han. **Luke. Say something. Say something in Yuuzhan Vong.

**Luke. **But . . .

_Luke tries to imagine that the serpent is real._

Open.

**Han. **Basic.

**Luke. **_[in Yuuzhan Vong] _Open.

_The sink begins to move, sinking right out of sight. In its place is a pipe large enough for a grown humanoid to slide into._

**Farfalla. **Excellent, Luke. Good work. Well, as there's no reason for me to stay . . .

_Farfalla starts to leave, but Luke and Han point their lightsabers at him._

**Han. **Oh, yes, there is. You first.

**Farfalla. **Boys. Boys, what good will it do?

**Han. **Better you than us.

_Luke and Han back Farfalla back toward the Temple of Exar Kun._

**Farfalla. **Don't you want to test it first?

_Luke and Han shove Farfalla down the pipe into the Dark Temple._

_[unseen] _You know, it's really quite filthy down here.

_Luke and Han follow Farfalla down the pipe._

_Luke and Han land in an underground cavern._

**Luke. **We must be miles under the Temple.

**Han. **Under Mon Calamari, probably.

_Using the Force, Luke generates a small ball of light._

**Luke. **Come on. Remember, any sign of movement, close your eyes straight away.

_Luke, Han, and Farfalla begin walking through the tunnel._

**Han. **_[grabs Luke's shoulder] _Luke. There's something up there.

_Luke, Han, and Farfalla see a giant dragonsnake skin._

**Farfalla. **It looks like a . . . _snake_.

**Luke. **Maybe it's asleep.

_Luke, Han, and Farfalla step closer to the dragonsnake skin._

It's a snake's skin.

**Han. **Blimey! Whatever shed this must be twenty feet long or more.

_Farfalla passes out._

_[kneels down by Farfalla] _Heart of a rancor, this one.

_Farfalla leaps up, quick as a vornskr, and grabs Han's lightsaber._

**Farfalla. **The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. The galaxy will hear our story: how I was too late to save the girl and you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. Say good-bye to your memories.

_Using the Force, Farfalla performs a memory rub._

_The lightsaber explodes with the force of a thermal detonator._

_Luke trips over the dragonsnake skin._

_Han and Farfalla are buried behind piles of rock._

**Han.** _[unseen] _Luke. Luke.

**Luke. **Han. Han. Are you okay?

**Han. **_[unseen] _I'm fine. This git's not, though. He got blasted by the lightsaber.

_A loud _thud _indicates that Han has kicked Farfalla in the shins._

**Farfalla. **_[unseen] _O!

**Han.** _[unseen] _What do we do now?

**Luke. **Wait here. Try and shift some rock, so we can get back through. I'll go in and find Mara.

**Han. **_[unseen] _Okay. And Luke . . .

**Luke. **See you in a bit.

_Exit Han and Farfalla._

_Luke continues on through the tunnel._

_Luke approaches a solid wall with serpents carved on it._

_Luke studies the lifelike snakes._

_[in Yuuzhan Vong] _Open.

_The wall slides open, revealing the entrance to Exar Kun's temple._

_Exit Luke._


	46. The Heir of Exar Kun

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, stepping into the Dark Temple._

_Luke removes his lightsaber._

_Luke sees a giant statue of Exar Kun, a dark-haired Sith Lord with yellow eyes._

_Enter Mara, laying unconscious beside Kun's statue._

**Luke. **_[dropping to his knees] _Mara! Mara. Please don't be dead.

_Luke sets his lightsaber down._

Mara. Wake up. Wake up.

_Enter Palpatine, a fragment of the Dark Lord's soul._

**Palpatine. **She won't wake.

**Luke. **Cosinga . . . _Cosinga Palpatine_?

_Palpatine nods._

What do you mean, she won't wake? She's not . . . ?

**Palpatine. **Oh, she's still alive. But only just.

**Luke. **Are you ghost?

**Palpatine. **A memory preserved in a journal for fifty years.

**Luke. **She's cold as ice. You've got to help me, Cosinga. There's a dragonsnake. I don't know where it is. But it could be along any moment. Please, help me . . .

_Palpatine picks up Luke's lightsaber._

Thanks.

_Palpatine remains where he is, twirling Luke's lightsaber._

Listen. We've got to go. We've got to save her. There's a dragonsnake.

**Palpatine. **It won't come until it's called.

**Luke. **What do you mean? Give me my lightsaber, Cosinga. I might need it . . .

**Palpatine. **You won't be needing it.

**Luke. **What do you mean . . . ?

**Palpatine. **I've waited a long time for this, Luke Skywalker. For the chance to meet you, speak to you.

**Luke. **Look. I don't think you get it. We're in the _Dark Temple_. We can talk later.

**Palpatine. **We're going to talk now.

**Luke. **_[stares] _How did Mara get like this?

**Palpatine. **Well, that's an interesting question. And quite a long story. I suppose the real reason Mara Solo's like this is because she opened her heart and spilled all her secrets to an invisible stranger.

**Luke. **What are you talking about?

**Palpatine. **The journal. _My _journal. Young Mara's been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes . . . how her brothers _tease_ her, how she had come to the Temple with secondhand robes and books, how . . .

_Palpatine's blue eyes glint malevolently._

. . . how she didn't think famous, good, great Luke Skywalker would ever notice her. . . .

_Palpatine stares at Luke with an almost hungry look._

It's very _boring_, having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl. But I was patient. I wrote back. I was sympathetic. I was kind. Mara simply _loved _me. "No one's ever understood me like you, Cosinga. I'm so glad I've got this journal to confide in. It's like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket."

_Palpatine cackles, his voice low and cold._

If I say it myself, Luke, I've always been able to charm the people I needed. So Mara poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted. I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful, far more powerful than little Miss Solo, powerful enough to start feeding Miss Solo a few of _my _secrets, to start pouring _my _soul back into_ her_. . . .

**Luke. **What do you mean?

**Palpatine. **Haven't you guessed yet, Luke Skywalker? Mara Jade Solo opened the Temple of Exar Kun. It was Mara who set the dragonsnake on the infidels and the Fallanassi's nexu, Mara who wrote strangled the avrils and wrote the threatening messages on the walls.

**Luke. **But why?

**Palpatine. **Because I told her to. You'll find I can be _very persuasive_. Not that Mara knew what she was doing. She was, shall we say, in a kind of trance. Still, the power of the journal began to scare her. She tried to dispose of it in a females' refresher. And then who should find it, but you . . . the person I have been most anxious to meet.

**Luke. **_[fists clenched] _But why did you want to meet me?

**Palpatine. **Mara told me all about you. I knew I had to talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to show you my capture of that brainless oaf Chewbacca to gain your trust.

**Luke. **Chewbacca is my friend. And you framed him, didn't you?

**Palpatine. **_[cackles] _It was my word against Chewbacca's, Luke. You can imagine how it looked to old Fae Coven. On one hand, Cosinga Palpatine, poor but brilliant, orphaned but so _brave_, Temple prefect, model student. On the other hand, big blundering Chewbacca - in trouble every other week, trying to raise wolfman cubs under his bed, sneaking off to Endor to wrestle wampas. But I admit even _I _was surprised how well the plan worked. I thought _someone _must realize that Chewbacca couldn't possibly be the Heir of Kun. It had taken _me _five whole years to find out everything I could about the Dark Temple and discover the secret entrance. As though Chewbacca had the brains or the power . . . Only the Master of Jedi Sorcery, Yoda, seemed to think he was innocent. He persuaded Coven to keep Chewbacca and train him as gamekeeper. Yes, I think Yoda might have guessed. Yoda never seemed to like me as much as the other Masters did.

**Luke. **I bet Yoda saw right through you.

**Palpatine. **Well, he certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that. I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Dark Temple again while I was still at the Jedi Temple. So I decided to leave behind a journal, preserving my sixteen-year-old self in its pages, so that one day I might lead another to finish Exar Kun's noble work.

**Luke. **Well, you haven't finished it this time. In a few hours, the Bota Draught will be ready and everyone who was _Morichro_-ed will be all right again.

**Palpatine. **But haven't I already told you? Killing infidels doesn't matter to me anymore. For many months now, my new target has been you. Imagine how anger when I learned Mara had stolen the journal back from you.

**Luke. **Mara stole the journal from my room. Why?

**Palpatine. **She was afraid, afraid you'd learn how to work the journal, afraid I'd tell you just who's been strangling the avrils. But I knew what I must do. It was clear to me that you were on the trail of Kun's heir. From everything Mara told me about you, I knew you would go to any lengths to solve the mystery, particularly if one of your best friends was attacked. And Mara had told me the whole Temple was buzzing because you could speak Yuuzhan Vong. So I made Mara write her own farewell on the wall and come down here to wait. She struggled and cried and became _very _boring. But there isn't much life left in her. She put too much into the journal, into me, enough to let me leave its pages at last. I have been waiting for you to appear since we arrived here. I knew you'd come. I have many questions for you, Luke Skywalker.

**Luke. **Like what?

**Palpatine. **How is it that a baby with no extraordinary Force potential managed to defeat the greatest Force user of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Sidious's powers were destroyed?

**Luke. **What do you care how I escaped? Sidious was after your time.

**Palpatine. **Sidious is my past, present, and future.

_Using the Force, Palpatine generates flames, forming them into words._

**Message. **COSINGA BANE PALPATINE

_Palpatine waves his lightsaber and the words transform._

I AM LORD SIDIOUS.

**Luke. **You. You're the Heir of Kun. You're Sidious.

**Palpatine. **You didn't think I was going to keep my filthy mundane father's name? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Exar Kun, through my mother's side? I, keep the name of a foul common mundane, who abandoned me even before I was born, because he found out his wife was a Force adept. No, Luke. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew one day all Force users would fear to speak, when I became greatest Force adept in the galaxy!

**Luke. **Yoda is the greatest Force adept in the galaxy. Everyone says so. Even when you were strong, you didn't dare try and take over the Jedi Temple. Yoda saw through you when you were at the Temple and he still frightens you now, wherever you're hiding these days.

**Palpatine. **Yoda's been driven out of the Temple by the mere _memory _of me.

**Luke. **He'll never be gone, not as long as those who remain are loyal to him.

_Enter Vergere, carrying the mask of Revan._

**Palpatine. **That's a Fosh . . .

**Luke. **Vergere?

**Palpatine. **And _that _. . . that's the old Temple Sorting Mask.

_Palpatine cackles._

So this is what Yoda sends his great defender? A song bird and an old mask! Do you feel brave, Luke Skywalker? Do you feel safe?

_Palpatine cackles._

To business, Luke. Twice - in _your _past, in _my _future - we have met. And twice I failed to kill you. _How did you survive_? Tell me everything. The longer you talk, the longer you live.

**Luke. **No one knows why you lost your powers when you attacked me. I don't know myself. But I know why you couldn't _kill _me. Because my mother died to save me. My common _mundane-born _mother. She stopped you from killing me. And I've seen the real you. I saw you last year. You're a wreck. You're barely alive. That's where all your power got you. You're in hiding. You're ugly. You're foul.

_Palpatine smiles cruelly._

**Palpatine. **So. Your mother died to save you. Yes. That's a powerful countercharm. I can see now. There is nothing special about you, after all. I wondered, you see. There are strange likenesses between us, after all. Even you must have noticed. Both near-humans, orphans, raised by mundanes. Probably the only two Yuuzhan Vong to come to the Jedi Temple since the great Exar Kun himself. But after all, it was merely a lucky chance that saved you from me. That's all I wanted to know. Now Luke. Let's match the powers of Lord Sidious, heir of Exar Kun, against the famous Luke Skywalker. _[in Yuuzhan Vong] _Speak to me, Exar Kun, greatest of the Jedi Four.

_Kun's statue opens its mouth and something slithers out._

_Enter Dragonsnake, a six-meter-high ferocious serpent with green skin and red eyes._

_Vergere flies away._

**Luke. **_[as he runs] _Don't leave me.

**Palpatine. **_[in Yuuzhan Vong] _Kill him.

_Luke closes his eyes and runs._

_Palpatine laughs mirthlessly._

_[in Basic] _Yuuzhan Vong won't save you now, Skywalker. It only obeys me.

_Luke trips, the dragonsnake a few feet behind him._

_Vergere dives at the dragonsnake and attacks the serpent's eyes._

_Luke opens his eyes to see two bloody holes where the dragonsnake's eyes should be._

_[in Yuuzhan Vong] _No! Leave the bird! Leave the bird! The boy is behind you! You can smell him! Kill him!

_The dragonsnake attacks blindly, searching for Luke._

_[in Basic] _Your bird may have blinded the dragonsnake, Skywalker. But he can still hear you.

**Luke. **Help me. Help me. Someone, anyone.

_The dragonsnake lunges; Luke ducks._

_The dragonsnake's tail unintentionally knocks Revan's mask into Luke's arms._

_Luke throws the mask over his head._

Help me. Help me. Please help me.

_Rather than speaking, the mask drops something hard on Luke's head._

_Luke removes the mask and sees the sword of Darth Revan - a vibroblade with a black hilt._

**Palpatine. **_[in Yuuzhan Vong] _Kill the boy! Leave the bird! The boy is behind you! Sniff! Smell him!

_Luke stands, armed with Revan's vibrosword._

_The dragonsnake lunges blindly._

_Luke dodges; the dragonsnake hits the Temple wall._

_The dragonsnake lunges and Luke drives the hilt of the vibrosword into the roof of its mouth._

_Blood pours from Luke's arm as one long poisonous fang digs into him._

_The dragonsnake keels over sideways, twitches, and dies._

_Luke pulls the fang out of his arm and slides down the wall, his vision foggy._

_Vergere flies over to Luke._

**Luke. **You were brilliant, Vergere. I just wasn't quick enough.

_Vergere lands near Luke's arm and pours her tears onto Luke's wound._

**Palpatine. **You're dead, Luke Skywalker. Dead. Even Yoda's bird knows it. Do you see what she's doing, Skywalker? She's crying. I'm going to sit here and watch you die, Luke Skywalker. Take your time. I'm in no hurry.

_Luke begins to pass out._

So ends the famous Luke Skywalker. Alone in the Dark Temple, forsaken by his friends, defeated at last by the Dark Lord he so unwisely challenged. You'll be back with your dear infidel mother soon, Luke. Lord Sidious will return, very much alive.

_Luke's vision begins to come clearer._

Get away, bird. Get away from him. I said, _get away_.

_Palpatine blasts Vergere with the power of the dark side._

_Vergere flies away._

I forgot. Fosh tears have healing powers.

_He wields Luke's lightsaber._

But it makes no difference. In fact, I prefer it this way. Just you and me, Luke Skywalker . . . you and me . . .

_Vergere returns and drops Palpatine's journal in Luke's lap._

_Luke grabs the dragonsnake's fang and stabs it into the heart of the journal._

What are you doing? Stop! No! Aaaaaarrrrggghh!

_Palpatine screams with agony and dies._

_The first part of Sidious's soul is destroyed._

_Exit all._


	47. A True Revan

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Mara, in the Dark Temple._

_Mara awakes._

**Mara. **Luke. It was me. But I swear I didn't mean to; Palpatine made me. O! Luke. I tried to tell you at breakfast. But I _couldn't _say it in front of Threepio. Palpatine took me over. And _how _did you kill that . . . that _thing_? Where's Palpatine? The last thing I remember is his coming out of the journal . . .

**Luke. **It will be all right, Mara. Palpatine's finished, him and the dragonsnake. It's just a memory. Come on, Mara. Let's get out of here.

**Mara. **_[sobs] _I'm going to be expelled. I've been looking forward to coming to the Jedi Temple ever since Kyle came, and now I'll have to leave, and . . . _what will Mom and Dad say_?

_Luke and Mara follow Vergere out of the Temple of Exar Kun._

_Enter Han._

**Luke. **Han. Mara's okay. I've got her.

_Han cheers._

**Han. **Mara! You're alive. I don't believe it. What happened? How . . . what . . . where did that bird come from?

**Luke. **He's Yoda's.

**Han. **How come you've got a _sword_?

**Luke. **I'll explain when we get out of here.

**Han. **But . . .

**Luke. **Later. Where's Farfalla?

**Han. **Back there. He's in a bad way. Come and see.

_Enter Farfalla, humming merrily to himself._

The memory rub backfired. He hasn't got a clue who he is. It hit him instead of us. I told him to come and wait here. He's a danger to himself.

**Han.** Han Solo.

**Farfalla.** And, er, who am I?

**Han. **See?

**Farfalla. **Odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?

**Han. **No.

**Farfalla. **Really?

_Han hits him over the head._

**Luke. **Have you thought about how we're going to get back up?

_Han shook his head._

_Vergere flies over and holds her leg out._

**Han. **She looks like she wants you to grab hold. But you're much too heavy for a bird to pull up there.

**Luke. **Vergere is no ordinary bird. We've got to hold onto each other. Mara. Grab Han's hand. Master Farfalla . . .

**Han. **He means you.

**Luke. **You hold Mara's other hand.

_Vergere flies the four humanoids into the air._

**Farfalla. **Amazing! This is just like magic.

_Vergere, Luke, Han, Mara, and Farfalla return to Lorana Jinzler's refresher._

_Enter Lorana._

**Lorana. **You're alive.

**Luke. **There's no need to sound so disappointed.

**Lorana. **Oh, well . . . I'd just been thinking . . . if you had died down there, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.

**Han. **Urgh!

_Vergere leads Luke, Han, Mara, and Farfalla out of Lorana's refresher._

_Exit Lorana._

Luke. I think Lorana's grown _fond _of you. You've got competition, Mara.

_Mara silently sobs._

_[glancing anxiously at Mara] _Where now?

_Vergere leads Luke, Han, Mara, and Farfalla into Mon Mothma's quarters._

_Enter Yoda, Mothma, Jaina, and Jonash._

**Jaina. **Mara!

_Jaina and Jonash hug Mara._

_Luke glances at Yoda, as Jaina hugs Han, then Luke._

You saved her. You saved her. _How _did you do it?

**Mothma. **I think we'd all like to know the answer to that.

_Luke sets Revan's vibrosword, the Sorting Mask, and Palpatine's journal on Mothma's desk._

_Luke explains everything - the disembodied voice, Leia's realizing it was a dragonsnake in the pipes, his and Han's following the arachnes to Endor, Poggle's telling them where the last victim of the dragonsnake died, and his guessing that the victim was Lorana Jinzler and that the entrance to Exar Kun's temple was in her refresher._

Very well. So you found where the entrance was, breaking a hundred Temple rules into pieces along the way, I might add. But how on _Chandrila _did you get out alive, Skywalker?

_Luke explains: Vegere's timely arrival and Revan's mask's giving him the sword. He leaves out Mara's part in this._

_Luke glances at Yoda._

**Yoda. **What interests _me _most is how Lord Sidious managed to enchant Mara, when my sources tell me he is currently hiding in the Deep Core.

**Jonash. **W-what's that? _You-Know-Who_? En-enchant Mara? But Mara's not . . . Mara hasn't been . . . has she?

**Luke. **_[holds out the journal] _It was this journal. Palpatine wrote it when he was sixteen.

_Yoda takes the journal._

**Yoda. **Brilliant. Of course, he was probably the most brilliant student the Jedi Temple has ever seen.

_The Solos stare, looking bewildered._

Very few people know that Lord Sidious was once called Cosinga Palpatine. I taught him myself, fifty years ago, at the Temple. He disappeared after leaving the Temple, traveled far and wide, sank so deep in the dark side, consorted with the very worst of our kind, underwent so many dangerous dark transformations, that when he resurfaced as Lord Sidious, he was barely recognizable. Hardly anyone connected Lord Sidious with the clever, handsome boy who was once Head Boy here.

**Jaina. **But Mara. What's our Mara have to do with . . . with . . . _him_?

**Mara. **His j-journal. I've b-been writing in it, and he's been w-writing back all season . . .

**Jonash. **Mara! Haven't I taught you _anything_? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for it itself _if you cannot see where it keeps its brain_. Why didn't you show the journal to me or your mother? A suspicious object like that - it was clearly full of Sith magic.

**Mara. **I d-didn't know. I found it inside one of the books Mom got me. I th-thought someone had just left it there and forgotten about it . . .

**Yoda. **Miss Solo should go up to the medcenter straight away. This has been a terrible ordeal for her. There will be no punishment. Older and wiser Force adepts than she have been manipulated by Lord Sidious. Bed rest and perhaps a large steaming mug of hot chocolate. I always find that cheers me up. You will find that Master Che is still awake. She's just given out bota juice. I daresay the dragonsnake's victims will be waking up any moment.

**Han. **So Leia's okay?

**Yoda. **There has been no lasting harm done, Mara.

_Exit Jonash, Jaina, and Mara._

You know, Mon, I think all this merits a good _feast_. Might I ask you to go and alert the kitchens?

**Mothma. **Right. I'll leave you to deal with Skywalker and Solo, shall I?

**Yoda. **Certainly.

_Exit Mothma._

You two realize, of course, that in the last few hours, you have broken perhaps a dozen Temple rules. There is sufficient evidence to have you both expelled.

**Both. **Yes, sir.

**Yoda. **Therfore, it is only fitting that you both receive Corellian Bloodstripes. And - let me see - yes, I think two hundred points apiece for Revan.

**Both. **_[grinning] _Thanks, sir.

**Yoda. **But one of us seems to be keeping mightily quiet about his part in this dangerous adventure. Why so modest, Valenthyne?

_Farfalla looks around to see who Yoda is talking to._

**Han. **Master Yoda. There was an accident down in the Dark Temple. Master Farfalla . . .

**Farfalla. **Am I a Master? By the Force! I expect I was hopeless, was I?

**Han. **He tried to perform a memory rub and the lightsaber backfired.

**Yoda. **_[shakes his head] _Dear me. Impaled upon your own vibroblade, Valenthyne!

**Farfalla. **Vibroblade? I haven't got a vibroblade. That boy has, though. He'll lend you one.

**Yoda. **_[to Han] _Would you mind taking Master Farfalla up to the medcenter, too? I'd like a few more words with Luke.

_Exit Han and Farfalla._

First, Luke, I want to think you. You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Temple. Nothing but that could have called Vergere to you.

_Yoda strokes Vergere._

_Luke grins awkwardly._

And so you met Cosinga Palpatine. I imagine he was _most _interested in you.

**Luke. **Master Yoda. Palpatine said he noticed certain similarities between him and me.

**Yoda. **_Did _he now? And what do you think, Luke?

**Luke. **I don't think I'm like him. I mean, I'm . . . I'm in Revan. I'm . . . Master. The Sorting Mask told me I'd . . . I'd have done well in Kun. Everyone thought _I _was Kun's heir for a while . . . because I can speak Yuuzhan Vong.

**Yoda. **You can speak Yuuzhan Vong, Luke, because Lord Sidious can speak Yuuzhan Vong. Unless I'm much mistaken, he transferred some of his own powers to you the night he gave you that scar.

**Luke. **Sidious put a bit of himself in _me_?

**Yoda. **Not intentionally, but yes.

**Luke. **So the Sorting Mask was right. I _should _be in Kun.

**Yoda. **It's true, Luke. You do possess many of the qualities Exar Kun himself prizes: Yuuzhan Vong, resourcefulness, determination, a certain disregard for rules. So why did the Sorting Mask place you in Revan?

**Luke. **_[defeated] _Because I asked it to.

**Yoda. **Exactly, Luke. Exactly. Which makes you very different than Sidious. It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities. If you want proof, Luke, that you belong in Revan, I suggest you look more closely at _this_.

_Yoda holds out Revan's vibrosword, where Luke sees the engraved name._

**Luke. **Darth Revan.

**Yoda. **Only a true Revan could have pulled that out of the Mask.

_Yoda opens Mothma's desk drawer and pulls out pen and durasheet._

What you need, Luke, is some food and sleep. i suggest you go down to the feast, while I write to Kessel. We do need our gamekeeper back. And I must draft an advertisement for the HoloNet. We'll be needing a new Defense Against the Dark Side Master. Dear me. We do seem to run through them, don't we?

_Enter Dooku and Jar Jar._

Good evening, Dooku.

**Luke. **Jar Jar. So these are your Masters? The family you serve are the Mareks.

**Dooku. **_[to Jar Jar] _I shall deal with you later. _[to Yoda] _So! You've returned.

**Yoda. **Yes. When the Council heard that Jonash Solo's daughter had been taken into the Dark Temple, they saw fit to summon me back. Curiously, some of them seemed under the impression that you would curse their families if they didn't agree to suspend me in the first place.

**Dooku. **How dare you!

**Yoda. **I beg your pardon?

**Dooku. **My sole concern has always been, and will always be, the welfare of this Temple and of course . . . its students.

_Dooku glances at Luke with contempt._

The culprit has been identified, I presume?

**Yoda. **Oh, yes.

**Dooku. **And who was it?

**Yoda. **Sidious.

**Dooku. **Ah.

**Yoda. **Only this time, he chose to act through somebody else, by means of this.

_Yoda shows Dooku Palpatine's journal._

_Jar Jar glances at Luke, points at the journal, then at Dooku, and then he hit himself hard on the head._

_Luke stares, bewildered._

**Dooku. **I see.

**Yoda. **Fortunately, our young Master Skywalker discovered it. Otherwise, poor Mara Solo might have taken all the blame. No one would ever be able to prove she hadn't acted of her own free will. And imagine what might have happened then. The Solos are one of our most prominent Pureblood families. Imagine the effect on Jonash Solo and his Rights of Sentience Act, if his own daughter was discovered attacking and killing mundane-borns. . . .

_Yoda holds Dooku with a severe gaze._

One only hopes that no more of Lord Sidious's old school things find their way into innocent hands. The consequences for those responsible would be severe.

**Dooku. **Let us hope that Master Skywalker will always be around to save the day.

**Luke. **Don't worry. I will be.

**Dooku. **_[nods] _Yoda. _[to Jar Jar] _Come, Jar Jar. We're leaving.

_As Jar Jar walks out the door, Dooku kicks him out, then follows._

**Jar Jar. **Aah! O!

_Exit all._


	48. Jar Jar's Reward

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke and Yoda, in Mon Mothma's quarters._

**Luke. **_[indicates the journal] _Sir. I wonder if I could have that.

_Yoda nods._

_Exit Yoda._

_Luke runs out of Mothma's quarters._

_Enter Dooku and Jar Jar._

Count Dooku. Count Dooku.

_Dooku stops and turns._

_[sets the journal in his hand] _I have something of yours.

**Dooku. **Mine? I don't know what you're talking about.

**Luke. **Oh, I think you do, Count. I think you slipped the journal into Mara Solo's cauldron, that day on Obroa-skai.

_Dooku thrusts the journal at Jar Jar._

**Dooku. **You do, do you? Why don't you prove it?

_Dooku turns around._

Come, Jar Jar.

_Jar Jar stares at the journal._

Jar Jar.

**Luke. **_[aside, to Jar Jar] _Open it.

_Jar Jar opens the journal and picks up a sock._

**Dooku. **Jar Jar!

**Jar Jar. **Master has given Jar Jar a sock.

**Dooku. **_[turns] _What? I didn't give . . .

_Dooku sees the sock in Jar Jar's hand._

**Jar Jar. **Master has presented Jar Jar with clothes. Jar Jar is free.

_Luke reveals that he's missing the sock._

_Dooku charges toward Luke._

**Dooku. **You've lost me my servant, boy.

_Jar Jar steps in front of Luke._

**Jar Jar. **You shall not harm Luke Skywalker.

_Dooku removes his lightsaber, as he lunges toward Luke_

**Dooku. **_Mori _. . .

_Jar Jar reaches into Force and blasts Dooku backward._

_The Count tumbles to the ground, tripping over his cape._

_Dooku rises to his feet, dusting himself off._

Your parents were meddlesome fools, too. Mark my words, Skywalker. One day soon, you are going to meet the same sticky end.

_Exit Dooku._

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker freed Jar Jar. How can he ever repay him?

**Luke. **It was the least I could do. Just promise me one thing.

**Jar Jar. **Anything, sir.

**Luke. **Never try to save my life again.

_Jar Jar smiles._

I've just got one question, Jar Jar. You told me all this had nothing to do with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, remember? Well . . .

**Jar Jar. **'Twas a clue, sir. Jar Jar was giving you a clue. The Dark Lord, before he changed his name, could be freely named, you see.

**Luke. **Right. Well, I'd better go. There's a feast, and my friend Leia should be awake by now.

_Jar Jar hugs Luke._

**Jar Jar. **Luke Skywalker is far greater than Jar Jar knew. Farewell, Luke Skywalker.

_Exit Jar Jar, vanishing into thin air with a loud _crack_._

_Exit Luke, toward the Great Hall._


	49. Welcome Back

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, joining the other Jedi in the Great Hall._

_Enter Canderous Ordo, freshly revived._

**Lando. **Welcome back, Lord Canderous.

**Canderous. **Thank you.

**Janson. **Good evening, Lord Canderous.

**Canderous. **Good evening.

_Enter Leia._

Leia. Welcome back.

**Leia. **Thank you, Lord Canderous.

**Wedge. **Luke. It's Leia.

_Luke and Han stand up._

_Leia runs over and hugs Luke._

_Leia turns to Han, who shakes her head._

**Han. **Welcome . . . welcome back, Leia.

**Leia. **It's good to be back. Congratulations! I can't believe you solved it.

**Luke. **We had loads of help from you.

**Leia. **Thanks.

_Enter Ooryl._

**Ooryl. **_[shakes Luke's hand] _Qrygg apologizes for ever suspecting you, Luke. You're the last person Qrygg ever should have suspected. Could you ever forgive him?

**Luke. **Of course.

**Ooryl. **Thank you. It's more than Qrygg deserves.

_Ooryl returns to the Surik table._

**Mothma. **_[taps her glass] _Could I have your attention, please?

_Yoda stands._

**Yoda. **Before we begin our feast, let us have a round of applause for Master Yaddle and Master Che, whose bota juice has been so successfully administered to all who have been _Morichro_-ed. Also, in the light of recent events, as a Temple trest, all exams have been cancelled.

**Leia. **Oh, no.

_All applaud._

_Enter Chewbacca._

**Chewbacca. **Sorry I'm late. The droid who delivered my release papers got all lost and confused.

_Chewbacca stops by Luke, Han, and Leia._

I'd just like to say that if it hadn't been for you, Luke . . . and Han . . . and Leia, or course . . . I'd still be you-know-where. And I'd just like to say, "Thanks."

_Luke hugs Chewbacca._

**Luke. **There's no Jedi Temple without you, Chewie.

_Yoda stands and applauds._

_Slowly, other Masters and students join Yoda in his applause._

_The students stand up and cheer, as they applaud._

_Chewbacca wipes tears from his eyes._

_Ooryl stands and applauds, looking like a proud father._

**Lando. **Yes!

_Exit all._


	50. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.**

_Enter Luke, Han, Leia, Mara, Jacen, and Ben, on the Jedi Cruiser._

_Jacen and Ben play sabaac, while Luke and Han practice Force Disarm._

_They are almost to Mos Eisley Spaceport, when Luke turns to Mara._

**Luke. **Mara. What did you see Threepio doing that he didn't want you to tell anyone?

**Mara. **_[giggles] _Oh, that. Well, Threepio's got a _girlfriend_.

**Jacen. **_What_?

**Mara. **It's that Shan prefect, Tece Fortine. That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the Temple is secret. I walked in on them, _kissing _in an empty classroom one day. He was so upset when she was, you know, attacked. _[to Jacen and Ben] _You won't tease him, will you?

**Jacen. **Wouldn't dream of it.

**Ben. **Definitely not.

_Luke pulls out a pen and scribbles something down on durasheet, then turns to Han and Leia._

**Luke. **This is called a comlink code. I told your father how to use a comlink last summer. He'll know. Call me at the Larses, okay? I can't stand another two months with only Jek to talk to.

**Leia. **Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they? When they hear what you did this season?

**Luke. **Proud? Are you crrazy? All those time I could have died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious. . . .

_Exit all._


End file.
